MERRYGOLD
He walked about past my front door more than I could count with both my fingers and toes. My room was after all on the other side of the kitchen, I was used to that. Sometimes, I assumed it was to alert me that I should be awake.. after four am, I was always awake. Who could sleep knowing that he was somewhere out there just waiting for me to be vulnerable. Why was he awake at four am? He was always roaming around dropping utensils and this and that anything, stomping his feet whenever he reached past my door. I knew it was him, my heart beat picked up. For a while, he ignored me at which I was glad but still left me anxious. Why would he befriend Thomas but ignore me? Not that I had wanted any sort of friendship or anything with someone as vile, rude and malevolent as him. Looks were truly deceiving beneath it all, beneath that intimidating facade, I assumed he had horns waiting to manifest.
"I'm cutting off payments." He said nonchalantly lazing back in his father's seat. Biting his lip, he looked at me from head to toe, unsaid judgement was clear.
Shocked and in panicked, I had to question. I had a right to question."You can not do that! That is everything to them, as little as it may seem. It is all they look forward to."
He stared at me with amusement."Oh, I apologize if I gave you the impression that your opinion mattered."
Embarrassed, I remained in my stance. "You're evil..!" Not stopping there, I continued. "I always knew you were evil!""It may not be common knowledge but I hope you're aware that negroes do not receive any sort of payment. It is against the law. I understand my parents have been very kind but—"
"It's not even much.." I added with desperation. "Compared to the profitts, paying them this pity money is close to no bargain."
"See this is why it was an unpleasant mistake to even have you here... but no, my parents just had to." Austin whined.
"They're good people..." unlike you, I poised.
"I'm a good person, you're simply hard headed."
Gulping down a feeling of hysteria, I had not even said that out loud. Suppose my face said it all for it, exposed me. I could never pretend, it was not within me. My facial expressions would never cooperate even if I wanted to. Sidling, I sighed looking at anything else to set my eyes on. I felt uncomfortable being with him in such a closed space, would anyone hear me screaming? If anything occurred. The study had no windows, where would I escape if I needed to...
"Respect me Merrigold, I have no wishes to have any future conundrums with you." With a bored expression he made eye contact. "I reckon you would not want that either?"
I only nodded looking away from his weird eyes. They reminded me of a venomous snake, a chameleon... they changed with every encounter we had. His eyes intimidated me cold, unsympathetic, cunning, emotionless and— distant.
"Merrigold?" He said cooly. I had come to realize he loved saying my name in a distinct manner that scared me.
"Yes—" it was difficult for these words to fall off my lips. It physically hurt but I did not want to spend more time bickering with him. With a forced smile, I tried again. "Yes, Master Austin?"
This made him smirk.
"I wanted to apologize.."Furrowing my eyes, I seemed almost too surprised. "F-for what?"
"I often implied that you were a busybody but Thomas assured me that you had never been touched." I felt anger boil within me, how could Thomas dish out my most intimate and private confessions. Was this why this man had decided to befriend Thomas? I was not sure if I should feel embarrassed or angry.
"What's it to you? With all due respect... that is very inappropriate. To discuss me in my absence about.." I shied away from disclosing anything more.
"Merrigold, you never seize to amaze me." He smirked standing up towering over me. Not saying anymore, he walked away. Was this it? I yearned to have him speak to me a bit more. I was glad that he did not in the past but now—
Wait was this his game? Did he plan on leaving me curious that way I would run after him? No, I would not. I still did not take any liking towards his boisterous attitude. My stomach churned, not knowing exactly what he thought of me. Was he perhaps more disgusted than lusting? I could never tell... he was closed off. He let out no emotion, he chuckled here and there but that was just about it.The rest of the day, I visited my brother and his wife. Played with my nieces at the plantation. Somehow managed to create a play-doll out of grassroots something I had always done as a child. I gave it to my two year old niece. She was happy and occupied with it before she moved onto her next interest. My brother and I had always had a strong relationship, his wife was just as nice.They worked at the field, I looked after my niece considering I had the privilege of not doing so. As I accompanied my niece around the yard, I felt a pair of eyes watching me. Assuming Thomas was hiding somewhere waiting to startle me. It was something we had always done as kids and we never grew out of it. I waited for him to startle me but he never did, I continued to pretend to be oblivious. Deciding that Thomas was being a bore with this game, I turned back. To my surprise, Austin stood there with my niece in his arms.
I felt panicked, I did not like this at all. She was oblivious, he seemed like a predator. Wherever I was, he was there in the background waiting for God knows what? It scared me.
"If I knew any better, I would have assumed she was yours but then I remembered, you're still waiting for a man's touch." Austin said putting my niece down. She immediately ran to me, afraid of this big tall white man who gave me the jitters as well. His words made me shiver with fear, he seemed to enjoy the thought of taunting me for being a virgin. I was not in the wrong.
"I assumed you mentioned having some errands..." I finally spoke.
"I did but I had to come over and meet this cutie!"
"Oh..""You love her?" He questioned.
"Ofcourse, I'd do anything for her. She is such a sweetheart." I immediately regretted saying anything when I realized his intention.
"Hopefully nothing happens to her. Imagine if she had to be sold far far far far away... even worse as a sex slave. Such a pretty young one, that would be quite wistful in my opinion."
"What are you implying?"
"Oh nothing you have to worry about Merrigold. You have everything, everything enough to protect your loved one's from any harm."
A shiver ran down my spine.
"Well, it was nice meeting her. I will be off, make sure you stock count with Grover for the week."
MERRYGOLDCuddling to the warmth of my blanket, I said grace thanking God for my life, the people in it and my daily bread. Sleep came easy considering how long of a day it had been. I had this nightmare for days and days on end where I imagined Austin sneaking in and taking advantage of me. In this dream, I fought hard and ran far enough to hide behind big brother and Thomas.In reality... I failed—In reality, his hands swooped over my body in the dark. His breath behind my back watching me sleep. His eyes heavy with lust. Assuming it was another nightmare, I woke up breathing and sweating heavily after feeling his presence beside me... touching and caressing me. His tongue made contact with my neck, I felt my body shut down from fear. I couldn't voice my thoughts or scream. Where was the this confidence that I always had? Where had it gone? Where was my determination to fight back? Where had my daring courage to kick him in the nuts go? Where was my boldness to scream, to run, to—
I had no interest in her whatsoever till Thomas, revealed that even he had not touched her. The competitor or rather antagonist in me wanted, needed, suddenly craved to be the first. Merrigold was not all that appealing, I had sexually been with negroes who were much better looking over the past years. She was as thin as a stick, her lack of breasts weren't all that appealing either. She could have been flat chested for the hell of it but goodness... the meander of every hip and curve, although petite her backside moved me a little. Her structure could have been sculpture by the God's, it made up for her lemon sized breasts. I had assumed if she ate the right amount of food she would not be as thin as she is. She had the privilege of staying in the house and working in the house but she looked starved her collar bone scared me, almost screamed fragile. It was only recently that I realized, she gave her every share of food served in the house to her brother or Thomas or the niec
I have not had a date in about a century, are you sure I look quite alright... Mrs. Brown." I asked one of our oldest housekeepers, she had been there when I was born, when I went off to boarding school, upon my return. She had always been there.I could not recall a moment in my life where she had not been present. I had respect for my mother and Mrs. Brown. They were very close to my heart. Mrs. Brown gave me a soft smile... "You look handsome as always Master Austin.""What happened to calling me your dear Austin?" I teased."You're a grown man now.""I still want to be called 'my dear Austin'..." I gave her a pout."Ohhh I know that pout, caused me grief when you were a little boy. You were a big crier, such a big baby." She chuckled reminiscing.I appreciated my mother but I knew all too well that all she did was give birth and hand the child to Mrs. Brown to take care of. My mother had her good night's sleep while Mrs. Brown did all her motherly duties. My mother could not r
In he entered the kitchen with his Remington hunting rifle, he held it so close like an expert. A giggle followed behind him, I could not help but feel some sort of annoyance as I continued to cut the green peppers and onion."I could have sworn you were a professional.." She said softly followed by a giggle. Her voice reminded me that of a child, a little girl.Anything Austin did, she was wildly impressed. She held onto his arm as she continued to serenade him with compliments. With the hatred I felt for him, I'd never take pride in complimenting him. I saw him as a vulture, a hyena that preys on the helpless and already dead."My best mates father Joshua Gallagher used to take us hunting as kids. I could have done a better job honestly...""Those helpless birds were lucky then." She smiled dreamily watching him."I would not have wanted to look murderous with a stunning lady in my presence.."With a pink tint on her cheeks. "You look rather handsome and invincible in such a sta
"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp
"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp
With so many temptations, I did not indulge. With so many offers and approval from the innocent catholic girl that my sister had assumed she was, I still refused to give in or go farther. For a moment, I thought maybe just maybe I was overthinking everything.All I needed to do was apologize to Merrigold for my behavior suppose try to base a new happy friendship which would be extremely difficult because I by far did not see her as a friend. She was below me, she could never be a friend. Infact I had just enough friends.I wondered how William had done it...I would not let him know, afraid he would laugh at me in the face for being so pathetic and insanely of unsound mind.I needed to be home, I needed to be there... where she was. I felt annoyed with the mindless chatter going on. I excused myself, letting them know; I felt sick... sick of their faces. Well, no I actually said a fever because my sister did not take any sort of bullying even from me.It was the first time I had
A tad bit distracted with work, she peaked her head in through the door.She did not mutter a word but I was aware of her presence, aware of her fine and dandy whiff. Merrigold, admittedly made me excited. She was different than any other negro I had ever encountered.She did not bow her head when I walked by or treat me with the respect I needed. I found that attractive, I found it attractive how stubborn she was and how I had to teach her to submit to me, she would eventually. I had gone off far the rails with the way I had started everything. If I was a tad bit nicer to her we'd see how that would work out."Sir, you have mail...from lady Harriet, her butler dropped it by." She said, for many reasons she refused to call me Master and I had noticed she preferred sir. That certainly wouldn't have a good ring to it when we finally indulged in this foolery of lust between us. The tension was clear and building up. I could see it in the way I caught her eyes searching for mine whe