Chapter 5: The Binding

The howl tore through Luan's throat like a living thing.

It was not a sound she made. It was a sound that made her. Her chest split open. Her ribs rearranged. The thing that had been pacing behind her ribs finally broke free and ran up her spine and out of her mouth.

Cass stared at her. His gold eyes were wide.

Again, he said.

She howled again. Louder. The cabin windows rattled. The fire in the stove jumped. Somewhere in the distance, Julian's howl cut off mid-note.

Cass grabbed her shoulders.

Stop. He's coming.

She could not stop. The wolf was out. It wanted to run. It wanted to hunt. It wanted to find Julian and tear his grey eyes from his skull.

Luan. His voice was sharp. Commanding. Look at me.

She looked at him. His face was inches from hers. His hands were shaking on her shoulders.

You called the wolf, he said. Now you have to learn to cage it.

I don't want to cage it.

I know. That's the problem.

He pulled her to the floor. They sat cross-legged across from each other, knees touching. The fire crackled. The cabin was silent except for their breathing.

Close your eyes, he said.

She closed them.

Feel the wolf. Where is it?

Behind my eyes. In my throat. Under my skin.

Pick one place. Put it there.

She tried. The wolf scrabbled. It did not want to be contained. It wanted to run.

Push harder.

I can't.

Yes you can. You've been pushing it down your whole life. Every time you didn't say what you wanted. Every time you made yourself small. Every time you looked away from something that made your blood hot. You've been caging this thing since you were born. One more time. Push.

She shoved the wolf down. Down her spine. Down her legs. Into her feet. It clawed the whole way.

Open your eyes.

She opened them.

Her vision was normal. The cabin was dim. Cass was just a man with tired eyes and a grey streak in his hair.

Good, he said. Now do it again.

They trained until dawn.

Each time Luan called the wolf, it came faster. Each time she caged it, it fought harder. By the time the sun rose through the cabin windows, she had sweat through her shirt and her hands were raw from clawing the floorboards.

You're a natural, Cass said.

I'm exhausted.

That's the hunger. It feeds on your energy. The more you use it, the more it takes.

She looked at her reflection in the window. No yellow eyes. No claws. But the grey streak at her temple was wider than it had been yesterday.

How much time did I just lose?

Cass was quiet.

Tell me.

Partial shifts cost hours. Not days. You're fine.

How many hours?

He stood up. He walked to the stove and put a kettle on.

Twelve, he said. Maybe fourteen.

Luan touched her temple. The hair felt coarse and dry.

I have three hundred and fifty-one days left.

Unless you stop shifting.

I can't stop. Julian is out there.

Then we leave. Tonight. We run north. There are territories where Julian has no power.

And what happens when we run out of north?

Cass did not answer.

A knock on the door made them both freeze.

Luan's heart slammed against her ribs. Cass moved in front of her, his body blocking hers, his eyes already gold.

Who is it? he called.

A woman's voice. Soft. Familiar.

It's your mother, Luan. Open the door.

Luan's blood went cold.

She pushed past Cass and unbolted the door.

Her mother stood on the cabin steps. Regina Hale was fifty-two but looked seventy. Her hair was thin and grey. Her skin was papery. Her eyes were the same brown as Luan's, but hollowed out, empty, like someone had scooped out the inside and left the shell.

Mom. What are you doing here?

Saving your life. Her mother held up a syringe filled with pale liquid. The suppressant. One shot. You never shift again. You live.

Luan stared at the syringe.

You've been working with Julian.

Her mother's jaw tightened.

Julian is a monster. But he's not wrong about you. The wolf will kill you. It killed your grandmother. It killed your aunt. It will kill you.

Grandmother was murdered. By Julian's father.

Because she refused to suppress. Her mother stepped forward. The needle glinted in the dawn light. Please, Luan. I can't watch another woman I love burn to ash.

Luan looked at the syringe. At her mother's hollow eyes. At Cass, who stood behind her, silent, waiting.

No, she said.

Her mother's face crumpled.

Then you're already dead.

She lunged.

The needle arced toward Luan's neck. Cass moved. He caught her mother's wrist. The syringe clattered to the floor. Regina screamed and clawed at his face.

Let me go. Let me save her.

You can't save her, Cass said quietly. You can only cage her.

A cage is better than a grave.

The door slammed open.

Julian stood on the threshold. Six wolves behind him. His grey eyes moved from Luan to Cass to Regina to the syringe on the floor.

Well, he said. This is convenient.

He stepped inside. The wolves flooded the cabin. Cass pulled Luan behind him. Her mother scrambled into a corner.

You have something that belongs to me, Julian said. A latent wolf in my territory. You have sixteen days until the moon. I am not a patient man.

Then leave, Cass said.

Julian smiled.

I have a better idea. He pulled a knife from his belt. Silver. The blade smoked where it touched the air. I'm going to give you both a choice. He looked at Luan. You take the suppressant. You live as a human. You never shift. You never threaten my pack. Or—

He looked at Cass.

Or I kill him. Slowly. With this. And then I kill you.

The cabin was silent. The fire crackled. Luan could hear her mother weeping in the corner.

She looked at Cass. At the grey in his hair. At the scars on his hands. At the way he stood between her and Julian, ready to die.

Don't, Cass said. Don't you dare.

She looked at the syringe on the floor.

Then she looked at Julian.

I have a better idea, she said.

She stepped around Cass. She walked to the center of the room. She raised her hand and pointed at Julian's chest.

Fight me, she said. One on one. No wolves. No knives. If I win, you leave. Forever. You never come near me or Cass again.

Julian raised an eyebrow.

And if I win?

Then I take the suppressant. I become human. I leave your territory. You never see me again.

Julian laughed.

You have no idea what I am.

Neither do you, she said.

She called the wolf.

Not in pieces. Not in parts. All of it. The thing that had been sleeping her whole life exploded out of her chest. Her bones broke. Her skin peeled. Her teeth fell out and grew back sharper.

She died.

Then the wolf opened its eyes.

Julian's smile vanished.

The wolves behind him whimpered.

And Luan, no longer Luan, lunged for his throat.