88

THEA

The tears won’t stop.

They just won’t.

They pour like something inside me finally cracked open and let everything spill, the grief, the ache, the rage, the loneliness. All of it.

I don’t even know how long I’ve been crying. Could be minutes. Could be hours. Maybe days.

Time doesn’t feel real anymore.

Only pain does.

The kind that wraps around your bones and settles in your chest like it belongs there. Like it always has.

I can’t move.

I just lie here, curled on the floor where he left me. The last place he held me. The last place I ever felt him.

God.

The bond is gone.

I didn’t even know what it really meant until it wasn’t there anymore. Until something I couldn’t name vanished and took parts of me with it.

I feel hollow. Carved out. Like there’s air where he used to be.

I gasp, but there’s not enough oxygen in the world for this kind of hurt.

My fingers twitch, weak. I blink through the tears, chest shuddering.

I have to move.

Finn.

I need to make sure Finn’s okay.

Because even though I'm breaking, the responsibilities don't stop.

I drag myself toward the couch, every inch of me screaming. My knees burn. My arms tremble. My whole body feels like it’s unraveling, but I force it forward anyway—like I always do.

Like I always have.

The phone is there.

Somehow, I reach it.

My vision is blurry. My fingers are slick with tears or snot or both. But I find her name. Shirley. Leo’s mum. The one woman I trust who loves Finn like he’s her own.

I press Call.

It rings.

Once. Twice.

She picks.

“Hello?”

I swallow, and my voice barely comes out. A hoarse whisper.

“Please… please pick Finn from school.”

She pauses, clearly confused. “Thea? Are you alright—?”

“I can’t…” My voice cracks. “I—can’t get him. I’m—I’m not okay. I just… Can he stay with you? For now. Just for a while. Until I…”

I don’t even finish.

There’s silence on the other end.

Then her voice—gentle and concerned comes through. “Of course, sweetheart. Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got him. Just… take care of yourself okay?”

I exhale, my breath coming out shaky and broken. I couldn't even mutter a thank you before ending the call, the phone slides out of my hand and fall somewhere beside me on the floor.

The silence wraps around me again.

Louder now.

It screams louder than any voice ever could.

I curl tighter, pressing my cheek to the cold floorboards, wishing they’d swallow me whole. Wishing I could disappear into the wood, into the cracks, into nothing.

But I don’t.

Because I’m still here.

Breathing.

Bleeding.

Breaking.

And somehow that feels worse.

My chest convulses with another sob, but somewhere under it—under the grief, the devastation, the humiliation—is something else.

Need.

Not romantic. Not hopeful. Not safe. Not like the one Ezra gives me.

Just… a need to escape.

To feel anything that isn’t this.

To bury the pain before it buries me.

I roll over slowly, fingers groping for the phone again. I swipe blindly through the screen, eyes still fogged, limbs still trembling.

Until I find it.

His name.

Malik.

I stare at it for a second.

Then I press Call.

It rings.

He picks on the third.

“Thea?”

I can hear the faint music in the background. His voice sounds casual, surprised. Maybe even hopeful.

But I don’t give him time to question it.

“I need you.”

There’s silence on the line.

I close my eyes and squeeze the phone tighter, as if my grip can steady the storm.

“I just—” My voice breaks. “I need someone. Right now. I need you. Please.”

More silence.

Then a rustle. Keys maybe. The sound of movement. His voice drops, serious now.

“Text me your address. I'll be on my way.”

I don’t reply.

I just hang up and toss the phone aside again before staggering to my feet.

Because even though I need someone, I don't want the closure to be exactly where I was broken.

So, with slow wobbly steps, I walk to the stairs, ready to take a quick shower.

Because I can survive this pain or at least pretend it isn't there with a bottle or two.