The train arrived with a screech of metal on metal, and subconsciously I boarded and found a seat and gazed out the window as if somehow, the tunnel walls rushing by was the only thing that could grant my wish. "I wish you could see me," I whispered the deep words, picturing his face as I spoke. "Like really see me. I wish you could love me just the way I love you." Closing my eyes, I began to feel the weight of the unshed tears behind my eyelids. But just before I brushed them off I murmured again. "Just once, I want to know what it would be like if you truly loved me back." With a final sigh, I wiped the tears fighting to breakfree. Little did I know, some wishes come at a terrible price. When Asher Smith's boyfriend, supermodel Xander Fauler, wakes from a car accident with amnesia, their cold relationship transforms into something passionaate and real. For six blissful months, Asher experiences the love he always craved—until Xander's memories return, along with his icy demeanor. What was once six month's of undeniable love and pleasure just as he had always wanted, slowly turned into a nightmare that he had dreaded so much for the longest time. Amidst the uncertainty of his spot in his love life, Asher began to notice some odd changes in Xander, making him question if their relationship was ever real. As he tries to get a grip of his love life he uncovers a dangerous obsession lurking in Xander's inner circle and a traumatic secret from his past, putting him no way further from his recent doubt, now Asher must decide: walk away from heartbreak or fight for a love trapped beneath scars?
Lihat lebih banyakAsher’s POV
The cursor on my screen blinked impatiently, mocking my inability to focus. Three deadlines, two urgent emails, and one boyfriend who acted like I was a stranger. Welcome to my life, the glamorous world of Falls Magazine. "Damn it," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. The office had emptied hours ago. Only the hum of the air conditioning and the occasional ping from my laptop kept me company. The New York skyline glittered beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, a beautiful view I barely noticed anymore. All I could see was the red notification bubble on our latest cover mock-up. Xander's face stared back at me from the screen. Those ocean blue eyes that once melted my heart now only reminded me of arctic ice. Cold. Distant. Unyielding. I reached for my coffee cup, finding only cold dregs at the bottom. A perfect metaphor for my relationship. My finger hovered over my phone. Was calling him a mistake? Probably. Did I care? Not anymore. After twelve months of loving someone who barely acknowledged my existence outside of work, my dignity had taken a permanent vacation. I tapped his contact and waited, my heart hammering against my ribs. One ring. Two rings. Three. "What do you want this time?" His voice cut through the line, sharp as a blade. No hello. No warmth. Just irritation, as if I'd interrupted something important. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Hey, I was wondering if we could meet up tonight?" I tried to keep my voice casual, like I wasn't begging for scraps of attention from my own boyfriend. "What for?" Xander asked, the sound of voices and music in the background. Another party I hadn't been invited to. "I thought we could talk. About us." My voice cracked on the last word, betraying me. "We can talk over the phone. I'm busy." I gripped the edge of my desk. "Xander, I haven't seen you outside of work in two weeks. Don't you think that's a problem?" "We see each other every day at the office," he said flatly. "Is that not enough for you?" The dismissal hurt worse than outright anger would have. "It's not the same and you know it." "You're being selfish, Asher." His voice turned colder, if that was even possible. "You're trying to monopolize me like I'm some item you purchased. I have a life outside of you." The words hit like a physical blow. Selfish? For wanting to spend time with the person who supposedly loved me? "That's not fair and you know it," I whispered. "I miss you. I miss us." Silence stretched between us, populated by the sound of laughter in the background of his call. "I have to go," he said finally. "The layouts better be ready by morning." The call ended before I could respond. Just like that, from boyfriend to boss in the span of a conversation. I stared at my phone, the screen turning dark, reflecting my own stunned face back at me. Something hot and wet slid down my cheek, and I realized I was crying. Great. Crying at work. Again. The tears came freely now that I wasn't fighting them anymore. They splashed onto my keyboard as I tried to focus on the layouts again. Who was I kidding? The first few months with Xander had been cautious but promising. He'd been reserved but attentive, his cool exterior occasionally giving way to moments of genuine connection. But over time, those moments had become rarer, the ice forming layer by layer until I could barely recognize the man I'd fallen for. What had changed? What had I done wrong? I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and forced myself to finish the work. Another hour passed as I meticulously checked every caption, every crop mark, every headline. Falls Magazine had a reputation to uphold, and Tasher Fauler, CEO of Falls Magazine, wouldn't accept anything less than perfection, especially when her son graced the cover. By the time I finished, my eyes burned and my back ached from hunching over the computer. The office was silent except for the gentle whir of the air conditioning. I packed my laptop and glanced one last time at the cover preview. Xander stared back at me, his perfectly sculpted face set in that trademark smoldering gaze that had launched a thousand magazine sales. The headline read: "The Man Behind the Face: Xander Fauler Reveals All." I snorted. If only they knew there was nothing to reveal. The real Xander was locked away behind walls I couldn't penetrate. The elevator ride to the ground floor felt eternal. My reflection in the polished metal doors showed a man I barely recognized. Dark circles underlined my eyes, and my coffee-brown hair stuck up at odd angles from running my hands through it in frustration. I paused at an intersection, waiting for the light to change. Above me, a billboard displayed yet another ad featuring Xander for some luxury watch brand. His face looked down on the city, those blue eyes following me everywhere. The train arrived with a screech of metal on metal. I boarded and found a seat easily. As the doors closed and the train lurched forward, I gazed out the window at the tunnel walls rushing by. I stared at them almost certain that they could grant me my most desired wishes. If there was ever anytime I needed to be heard it was now. "I wish you could see me," I whispered, picturing Xander's face. "Really see me. I wish you could love me the way I love you." The train rocked gently as it carried me home, the rhythm almost soothing. I closed my eyes again, feeling the weight of unshed tears behind my eyelids. "I wish you weren't so cold," I murmured, so quietly that no one could hear. "Just once, I want to know what it would be like if you truly loved me back." Little did I know, some wishes come at a terrible price.Asher's POVThere are two things I never thought I’d do this week.One: take in a street cat like a lonely cartoon character.Two: call the flirty bartender whose name I didn’t even know.And yet, here I was. Sitting on my bed, Smile curled up beside my leg, and my finger hovering over the contact card he gave me at the bar.It had been sitting on my desk since the night I almost got flattened by a speeding bike. I kept looking at it and putting it down. Picking it up again. Then pretending I was too busy.But now?I had no more excuses.I had finished every single task on my laptop. Checked all the emails. Sent every file. Double-checked the layouts. Replied to Sophia even though I hated her guts. And still, I felt this weird restless feeling buzzing in my chest.Smile let out a little yawn and shifted on the blanket.I glanced at the clock. 6:47 PM.Screw it.I picked up my phone and punched in the number.He picked up on the fourth ring.“Hello?”I cleared my throat. “Hi. It’s me.
Xander’s POVThe flash went off again, straight into my eyes.“Xander, just a little more to the left,” the photographer called out.I turned slightly, adjusted my jaw, narrowed my eyes, and gave them the usual expression. Cold. Confident. Unbothered.I was none of those things.My knees were shaky. My hands were sweating. My chest felt tight like a belt had been strapped around it. I tried to blink the feeling away. Maybe it was the lights. Or the layers of clothes. The heat in the studio was unbearable.“Hold that pose,” someone yelled.I tried.But the floor shifted under me.It didn’t actually move, but it sure as hell felt like it did.I took a step back.Too late.My ankle wobbled and I almost tipped over. I caught myself, but it wasn’t smooth. Everyone noticed. Sophia especially.“Xander?” she called, walking over with that usual panicked look in her eyes. “Are you okay?”“I’m fine,” I said quickly, but my voice didn’t sound right.Too thin. Too hoarse.She reached for my arm.
Asher's POVThe first thing I did when I got inside was drop my keys and stare at the little cat that had followed me all the way home. It didn’t look scared. Just calm. Like it belonged here.I knelt down and stroked its fur again. Up close, it was worse than I thought. The fur was matted with dirt, paws were rough, and I was pretty sure something was stuck in its tail.“You really went through it, huh?” I muttered.It meowed like she agreed.I grabbed an old towel and took it straight to the bathroom. It followed me in like it had always lived here.The bath wasn’t easy.It squirmed a bit at first, but once the warm water hit it, it settled down. I lathered it up with the safest soap I had, mixed in a little antiseptic to be safe. It purred and started licking the bubbles off its paw.“Hey, no, don’t eat that,” I said, gently pulling the paw away. “It’s not candy.”It blinked at me and meowed again. It was small. Almost like a sigh.I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re trouble.”I too
Asher's POVI didn’t plan to go out that night.I was supposed to head straight home after errands, but my feet had a mind of their own. Maybe I was trying to escape the silence in my apartment. Maybe I just didn’t want to think about Xander. Again.Either way, I ended up at a bar not far from my new place.It wasn’t packed, just a few people scattered in booths and on stools. The music wasn’t too loud, and the lights were low enough that no one looked too hard at anyone else. Perfect.I walked up to the counter, took a seat, and waved down the bartender.He was hot.Tall, broad shoulders, with a smirk that looked like it had gotten him out of trouble more times than it should’ve. The kind of guy who could get away with anything just by flashing that smile.He leaned on the counter as he handed me my drink.“You look like someone who needs a good night.”I gave a short laugh. “Something like that.”“Rough day?” he asked, wiping down a glass.“More like a rough few weeks.”He nodded li
Xander’s POVI woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm clock.The shrill noise stabbed into my ears like knives. I smacked it off the nightstand and sat up, groaning. The sun was already bleeding through the curtains, too bright, too loud. My head was pounding and my chest was tight. I didn’t even check the time. I already knew—I was late.Photoshoot.Shit.I kicked off the blanket, rushed into the bathroom to freshen up. When I came out, I pulled on the nearest clothes I could find, and didn’t even bother checking if that annoying human was sprawled out on my couch like usual.In fact, I had made sure that wasn’t going to be a problem anymore.I had already asked Sophia to assign me another editor. I didn’t want to see his face. Didn’t want to hear his voice. Didn’t want to feel that tight knot in my chest every time my mind wandered back to the soft moments—the ones I didn’t remember making.The ones that felt too real to be fake.I didn’t have time for that.I drove like the stree
Asher’s POVI cried myself to sleep.The pillow was damp. My throat felt raw. I had pulled the blanket over my head to muffle the sound, but I knew he probably heard me. The silence in this apartment didn’t leave room for secrets.Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt it—movement. The faint creak of floorboards, the soft hush of slippered steps. A shadow passed the couch. Slowed near me.I didn’t open my eyes.I didn’t want to.I didn’t want to look up and see Xander watching me. Not like this. Not in this pathetic, broken state. If he was going to feel anything, I didn’t want it to be pity.The shadow lingered for a moment… then moved on.By dawn, I was already set for work but I couldn’t bring myself to take the car.The thought of sitting behind the wheel, stuck in traffic, trapped in my own head—it felt like a death sentence. I needed air. Space. Something different.So I walked.The morning wind bit into my face as I left the building. I wrapped my coat tighter and shoved m
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