Chapter One

Nicole.

My husband coming late to his own wedding should have been the first thing to tell me he wasn’t ready for this marriage.

I mean, I was standing at the altar waiting for him—which was supposed to be his duty, for about an hour before he showed up with messy hair, a ruffled suit jacket, and a smirk on his face.

That should have given the sign that he’s a fucking red flag but I love him too much to look past his mistakes. Maybe he slept late the night before and couldn't wake up early, like I said I will do anything for this man.

We proceeded with the marriage; not like I could say no to it since I loved him.

They told me getting married is the most beautiful feeling on earth, falling in love, getting pregnant, and holding your child for the first time after hours and hours of long labor is the most amazing feeling ever.

At least that’s what I was told.

The people I called family told me I could do greater things if only I could just be more docile and allow them to direct me on things I should and shouldn’t do.

I listened. Did everything they expected of me, I married the man they chose for me because I was in love with him, left everything behind, and became who they wanted. The Nicole Davenport of today.

But here I am sitting in a big beautiful but empty house that has everything but my husband in it, staring at the wall clock like my life deepened on it.

It was past ten and yet the love of my life was still out there in the outer world doing what I had no idea of.

He normally doesn’t come home late, he’s always on time. Ever since we got married, we came up with a plan to respect each other’s boundaries and also each other and that includes having no other partner. We didn’t marry for love but I fell in love with him because who wouldn’t love a man like Jack?

He was everything I ever wanted in a husband; he was handsome, kind, and an easygoing man. And now I can’t believe our family will be complete. I was happier than I could show, butterflies were dancing in my stomach and I couldn't wait for him to get home.

I stared at my cell phone and then at the time, it was past eleven, and yet Jack wasn’t still back from the office.

I was running mad with worry, Jack hasn’t stayed out this late before—yes, he does come home late but not this late.

I sighed for what seemed to be the millionth time and quickly typed a message to him—again—it was the twentieth text I was sending to him tonight and yet I haven’t gotten a reply from any one of them.

“Where are you, Jack?” I asked, biting my lip worriedly.

I feel sleepy but I couldn’t due to excitement and anxiety. I stared at the white envelope lying on the bedside table. It was staring right back at me, telling me that whatever happened this morning wasn’t a lie, it was real, and yet I still can’t believe it.

I wanted to share the good news with Jack but he has yet to return home.

A small smile graced my lips as I remembered my visit to the hospital earlier today.

~~~~

I remained seated in my doctor's office, she went on a while ago to give the drawn blood to a nurse. It was a modest-sized room with creamed-colored walls and fluorescent lights. The air is clean and sterile with a hint of disinfectant. A large wooden table was sitting in the center of the room alongside chairs and some papers which I believed were patients' records sat on the cabinet.

I didn’t bother turning back when the door opened knowing she was the one coming in.

“Okay, Mrs Davenport, all we have to do is wait for the results but before then tell me how you have been feeling?” She asked while taking her seat.

I let out a sigh, “I have been feeling lightheaded and anything I eat doesn’t stay in my stomach. I throw up every single time and I hate it.” She chuckled again, the same thing she did when I first told her about what I had been experiencing.

“I have my doubts about your condition Mrs Davenport but I think it’s right for me to wait for the test.” She said with a beautiful smile.

Doctor Mariam has always been beautiful, in fact, she’s the most beautiful woman in the whole hospital and I’m so glad she’s my doctor for today.

“What are your doubts, doc? Do I perhaps have a terminal illness?” I asked with wide eyes.

It shouldn’t be that please, I haven’t enjoyed my life and haven’t given Jack a child. We still have a lot planned for our future and I don’t want to die—at least not yet. I want to know how much my husband loves me before leaving this earth.

She smiled again, showing her beautiful white set of teeth,

“You don’t have a terminal illness, Mrs Davenport. I think you are pregnant. The signs tell it all but like I said, we should wait for the result.” She said but I blanked out.

Pregnant?

I can’t be pregnant?

My previous doctor told me I couldn’t get pregnant. He told me I had a problem with my womb and thus the reason why I haven’t given a child to Jack yet. So what was Doctor Mariam saying?

“What? You don’t believe that?” She asked, pulling me out of my dazed state.

With her pretty smile still on, she went on, “I get it. A lot of women act this way once they get such news.” She explained.

But that wasn’t it, that wasn’t the reason I was speechless.

I can’t get pregnant, my previous doctor told me that so what is she talking about?

“I….it can’t be,” I said after getting myself back.

I shook my head.

“What can’t be, Mrs Davenport?” She asked.

“I can’t be pregnant…..I can’t get pregnant.” I said as a matter of fact and she frowned.

“And who told you that, Mrs Davenport?”

“My doctor….the one in charge of our family. He told me I can’t get pregnant, he told me that there’s a problem with my womb.” I answered still in disbelief.

Doctor Mariam's frown deepened, “Don't worry, we will resolve this after getting the result.”

I couldn’t help fear of what the result would be. I wanted to be happy but realized I shouldn’t keep my hopes up after what the Davenport doctor told me. I shouldn’t think about the possibility of me getting pregnant.

It's okay to not believe then believe and then get my hopes crushed.

A few minutes later, a light knock was heard on the door. Doctor Mariam ushered whoever was out there to come in, the door opened revealing a nurse. She walked in and that was when I noticed the white envelope in her hand.

“The results are ready doc,” She said as she handed the envelope to Doctor Mariam.

“Thank you, you can leave now.”

She waited until the nurse was gone before opening the envelope. She went through it with the same passive look on her face, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking about.

“Are you ready to hear the news, Mrs Davenport?” She asked.

Am I?

I don’t think I’m ready to get my heart broken all over again.

I hate the feeling of helplessness, I hate feeling that way.

“Mrs Davenport, are you okay?” She asked with concern in her voice.

I force a smile on my face. “I’m fine doctor Mariam. Please go on,” I gestured at the envelope.

“Okay, it states here that your blood pressure is okay, you don’t have a terminal disease. Your heart…..” I cut in.

“Please just get straight to the point doc,” I urged.

My leg wouldn’t stop shaking as I stared at her even while being fully seated. I was nervous, a little bit excited and angry.

Angry at myself for believing the damn thing when I know it isn’t real.

“Okay, Mrs Davenport. According to the test conducted on you, the result came out that you are four weeks pregnant.” She announced with a bright smile on her face.

I couldn’t smile, move, or do anything, I was shocked by the news.

All I could think of was that maybe I didn’t hear well. Maybe this was a mistake, yes, maybe they changed my blood sample with that of someone who’s really pregnant.

I can never be pregnant.

“W…what?” I asked, still shocked and frozen in my seat.

“Congratulations, Mrs Davenport, you’re four weeks pregnant.” Doctor Mariam repeated her words.

~~~~~

I can not remember how I got home but I did and since I returned I haven’t been myself. I was over the moon and I’m sure Jack would be too. Only if he was here.

To console myself, I placed my hand on my still flat tummy, and with a stupid grin on my face I whispered to the baby.

“Hello there baby, this is Mommy. Daddy is not here right now but that doesn’t mean we do not love you. I promise to protect you with everything I have got.” I swore while tenderly rubbing my belly.

Though it was still flat I couldn’t help but marvel that I have another life in me; I am carrying Jack's baby.

My face lit up when I pictured his excited grin, him picking me from the floor and swirling me around. Everything will be perfect, all I just needed was for him to get home.