002 - Hurt

MAEVE

I woke up feeling a bit groggy and weak. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room, enough for me to see where I was.

I was in a neatly furnished room with a luxurious setting. Confused, I wondered how I ended up here.

Memories of almost getting hit by a car while running far away from Thayer flooded into my mind. Instantly, the tears came flooding back again, clenching my heart as I remembered his harsh words. I thought he married me for love, but it turned out he did it out of pity.

What pain and hurt are worse than that?

My mind went back to finding out where I was and what I was doing here. I hoped Thayer was not involved in this. At this point, I never wanted to have anything to do with him ever again. He hurt me beyond words. He killed the rest of my self-esteem, and I wondered if I would ever be accepted again. Not only did he call me chubby, but he also called me the worst thing that has ever happened to him—a mistake!

I got up from the bed and glanced out from the floor-to-ceiling window at the other end of the massive room. It was still dark, and I wondered if I’d been sleeping for more than just one night or if it was still the same night.

The view was great, and I was glad I was able to distract myself a little, watching the clear night sky and the bright lights shining along the many streets of Chicago.

I was distracted again by the loud growl of hunger from my stomach, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten all day. Yet, I knew eating was the least of my problems now.

Where was I? Who owned that familiar voice from that car?

I started walking back to the bed, trying to find possible answers to my questions when I caught sight of my reflection in the wall mirror, and I was instantly disappointed at what was staring back at me. For a girl that weighed 105 kg, I had rings around my neck, wrists, and waist. I had multiple ounces of flesh all over my body, and I felt disappointed in my size as I looked away, not wanting to watch anymore.

I sat down on the bed, my mind clouded with thoughts.

I was totally different from my peers and colleagues, and because of this, I was constantly mocked. This always crushed my spirit and made me avoid public or crowded places. And now, Thayer had not only added to my pain; he had effortlessly killed the remains of my spirit.

I felt fresh tears sting the back of my eyes when the door suddenly opened and my father-in-law walked in. It instantly clicked in my head that it was my father-in-law who had nearly hit me with his car while I was running away from Thayer.

I sat up straight immediately. “Father,” I greeted.

“How are you doing now? I’m sorry I almost hit you last night,” he explained, his voice laced with concern.

“I’m fine. It’s not your fault,” I sniffed, but I knew I was not fine, and he must have sensed I was lying because he scoffed at my response.

“You know you don’t have to lie to me like that, Maeve…”

“I’m truly fine, Father…”

“Xander,” he cut in sharply. “Call me Xander,” he corrected, and I inhaled sharply.

“I’m fine, Xander.” The sound of his name on my lips excited me a little, but I brushed it aside.

“You don’t have to lie to me. You had a fight with Thayer, right? You were running away last night? What happened?”

I wanted to say ‘yes.’ For some reason, I wanted to pour out all my heart to him and tell him how much I’d suffered and how his son had mocked me in public, but what came out next was a lie. “We had an emergency at the gallery; it needed my attention.”

He stared directly into my eyes for a while and smiled. “You know how much you sweat when you lie?” he pointed out, and I was surprised how he managed to find out such a little detail in such a dim room.

This time, I remained calm, feeling a mix of emotions: anger, betrayal, hurt, tears, and pain. I held back my tears and looked away. I didn’t want to give him the slightest hint that I was in pain and that it was all his freaking son’s fault!

But he gently leaned forward, held my chin, and brought my face back to look at him. “I know you might be going through a difficult time in your marriage to my son at this point, but I won’t be able to help if you don’t tell me what the problem is,” he urged.

As soon as he said those words, I let it all out. “Is it a crime to be chubby? Did I create myself? Why did he have to humiliate me like that? Why should I be rejected everywhere I go just because I’m chubby?!” I cried deeply until I was hyperventilating, until my lips were quivering.

Xander sat beside me on the bed and gathered me in his arms so that my head was resting on his chest as I continued crying. He didn’t stop me. He allowed me to let it all out.

As I slowly stopped crying, I realized how warm he was, and the smell of his cologne alone was calming. I felt peace as I continued to stay in his embrace while he smoothly stroked my hair. My heart was beating rapidly, threatening to bounce out of my chest at the mixture of emotions I was feeling.

I just wanted to keep being like that, but he slowly pulled me out to look into my face.

“Are you better now?” he asked, and I nodded, then sat up as I tucked my tangled hair behind my ear. “Now, Maeve,” he continued. “Does Thayer know you are pregnant?”

My eyes widened in shock as I stared intently at him. How did he find out I was pregnant?! I didn’t even get to tell Thayer about it!

“Don’t give me that look. You passed out on me. What would you have me do? I had to sign for the tests to be carried out. After the tests, you were confirmed pregnant. So, I firmly believe Thayer is responsible because he’s still your husband…”

“I didn’t get to tell him,” I said, looking away. Images of Thayer having sex with my step-sister flooded my mind again, and I felt a pain in my heart, and it was intense. I was grateful I didn’t tell him about the pregnancy. He doesn’t deserve to know! “He didn’t give me the chance or a reason to,” I added.

“How do you mean?”

“Because I caught your good-for-nothing son cheating on me with my step-sister!” I blurted out before I could control my outburst. “And you know the most painful part? He had no regrets! Instead, he publicly called me names! He called me chubby and dirty when I thought I could find solace in him! He said I was the worst thing that has ever happened to him! I regret knowing him too!” I voiced it out all at once. I took a deep breath and finally controlled my emotions. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay, Maeve. You have every right to react that way. I knew Thayer was a playboy, and I thought marriage would help change him. But I guess I’m wrong after all,” Xander calmly explained.

He was the exact opposite of Thayer. Though he had the money, he was responsible, mature, and more respectful. I’ve never seen him discriminate against anyone based on looks, status, or quality. He treated everyone equally and was very kind. Sometimes, I wished I had met him before Thayer.

Unlike his father, Thayer was immature, rude, disorganized, and dirty. I had to put up with all of his excesses because I believed he loved me, and I loved him too. But I guess I was wrong about us.

Even if Thayer were to come back, I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him again. Marriage is about trust, and I know I won’t be able to trust him again.

If only I could change my fate, then I would want to be with someone as good and understanding as my father-in-law.

“Don’t worry, Maeve. I will talk to him,” he said as he gathered me in his arms again, and I rested my head on his chest, enjoying the warmth of his body and his soft breath on my hair.