Chapter 4: Desire to live

Zaria staggered backward, but Ivy caught her before she lost her balance.

The room tilted. Sound dulled. For a moment, all she felt was the burning sting spreading across her cheek.

Her heart pounded as she forced her gaze back to the Queen Mother.

‘Why would she slap me when I’ve done nothing wrong?’

“I’m sorry, Queen Mother. I should have prepared her immediately,” Ivy said quickly, bowing so low her shoulders shook.

Zaria frowned, looking from Ivy back to the Queen Mother in confusion.

Rosalind stepped forward, her expression carved from cold fury.

“How dare you question what is expected of you?”

The quiet disdain in her voice made Zaria’s heart stutter.

She lowered her gaze and muttered in her mind. ‘Royalties.’

Bitterness coiled in her chest as memories of Theodore and Maribel surfaced. Anger and hatred brewed in her as she slowly clenched her fists.

“I chose you because you were insignificant,” Rosalind continued. “Tell me… do you have any idea how much trouble your worthlessness has caused me?”

Zaria blinked, her lips tightening.

‘Insignificant? Trouble? What could she possibly have done?’ She thought, thinking of the real Zaria.

She opened her mouth to speak but Rosalind beat her to it.

“You were meant to stay by his side. Quietly. Invisible. Harmless.” Her voice sharpened. “ And now?”

She let out a short, humorless laugh. “ You have four days left to live.”

The words slammed hard into Zaria's chest.

“ What..?” Zaria straightened slowly, her brows knitting together. “ Why would I have four days left to live?”

Her voice sounded distant to her own ears.

Rosalind leaned closer, her eyes gleaming with something dark. “You should ask your miserable self that.”

Cold shivers ran down Zaria's spine, her body shook slightly as she tried to understand what she meant by her existence duration.

She swallowed, her throat dry, and she opened her mouth to speak but no words would come.

Rosalind began pacing, her heels clicking sharply against the marble floor.

“ Remember why I chose you?” She asked, anger laced in her voice. “ Because you were the perfect fit.”

Her lips curled slightly. “ No political backing. No powerful family. No influence. No ambition.” She shot Zaria a sharp look. “ No spine.”

Zaria's fingers curled slightly at her sides.

“ I needed a simple civilian, someone who would stand beside him and do nothing. Say nothing. Challenge nothing.” Rosalind’s voice dropped, tight with restrained fury. “ Someone who would never try to control anything, him, or the throne.”

Zaria's chest tightened. ‘ The king.’

“ For twenty-eight years,” Rosalind continued. “ the right to choose his queen has been mine. To have it all under my control, to protect what ought to be protected.”

She stopped pacing.

“ But in seven days…” her jaw tightened. “ That right disappears.”

The words hung heavy in the air.

“ In seven days, he turns twenty-nine.” Her gaze hardened. “ And if he is not bound to a wife by then, he can choose whoever he pleases.”

Her voice lowered, almost venomous. “ He gets to take the power he's not given.”

Zaria's brows drew together slightly.

Rosalind stepped closer again.

“ Do you understand now why your failure is not just inconvenient?” She asked softly.

Zaria’s heartbeat thudded painfully in her chest.

“The moment he turns twenty-nine, I lose control.” Rosalind’s voice cracked slightly before hardening again. “And I cannot replace you.”

Zaria blinked. “Why…?”

Rosalind’s eyes darkened. “Because the crown does not accept a new chosen bride,” she said slowly, “unless the first one is dead.”

Silence swallowed the room.

The words settled like ice in Zaria’s veins.

“The plan,” Rosalind continued calmly, “was simple. You would remain quiet. Obedient. Useless. And on his birthday… You would become queen.”

Her gaze raked over Zaria with utmost disgust. “But instead, you’ve become a problem.”

Zaria’s lips parted, but no words came out.

Rosalind leaned in slightly, her voice barely above a whisper. “And problems,” she said, “are removed.”

She straightened and turned away, slowly smoothing invisible wrinkles from her sleeves as if regaining control over herself.

“For once in your miserable life,” she said coldly, “use that empty head of yours and think. Vanish within three days, cause I have six days to get a new bride.”

She spared Zaria one last glance. “ Or I'll do it myself.”

With that, she walked out of the room with her two maids following behind.

Ivy sniffled the moment they were left alone, tears streaked down her cheeks.

“ They don't have to tell you anymore. You already gave up. You're already prepared to die.”

“ Why?” Zaria asked, eyes heavy with emotion as she stared ahead.

“ You have a weak core. The royal physician said your soul essence is too weak. That's the reason why you're falling ill repeatedly.”

She sniffled.

“ You stopped fighting to live when you also realized no matter how much you love the king, he'll always despise you. You've been unconscious for five days, princess, you only just woke up and..”

“ And they already want me dead?” She mumbled in disbelief.

Zaria's throat dried. Her lashes fluttered.

“ I hope they'll let you go quietly, and peacefully.”

“ No.” Zaria shook her head. “ I don't want to.”

“ Huh?”

“ I've died once, why should I die again?” She snapped her head to Ivy.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

“ What's with this twist, from one miserable life to another?” She shook her head. “ I don't want to die—I REFUSE to die.”

Ivy stilled. Her lips parted as she stared at the princess.

Zaria's body trembled as she turned fully to her. “ I don't need to be told twice that the real Zaria has led nothing but a miserable life. Is that why I'm stuck here? To bear her death? Why would I? For what? As a punishment?” Tears pooled down her cheeks.

“ I already served my punishment, I already atoned for my sin. I was beaten to death.” She shivered. “ Why should I bear someone else's death too? Who are they to tell me to die?”

She wept.

Ivy swallowed hard.

Everything she said made no sense, but her chest tightened.

The pain and anger laced in her voice pierced right through her chest.

It's been a while since the princess gave up on life, even though she seems crazy at the moment, she could tell she was still heartbroken.

Zaria sniffled and straightened. “ You said Zaria told you it could mean a second chance right? Well, that's what it'll be for me. Not a punishment.” She said amidst gnashed teeth.

Ivy smiled bitterly. “ Princess.”

“ I'm going to live.” She sniffled and straightened. Defiance and determination flashed across her eyes. “ And I'll do everything to make sure of that.”

In another wing in the palace, the king’s eyes suddenly flung open, as if the one thing he had desperately wanted gone… had chosen to remain stuck with him.