Chapter 4

I froze.

I heard footsteps rushing in from the hallway. My mother was the first to arrive.

“What’s wrong?”

Sally’s forehead was covered in blood. The blood trickled down her eyebrows and dripped onto the floor.

“Clara hit my head against the wall! Mom, I’m scared!”

My mother hugged Sally and turned to glare at me.

“Clara, I’m very disappointed in you!”

Victor charged over and squatted down to inspect Sally’s wound. When he stood up, there were already tears in his eyes.

“Clara, you would put on an act for 99 days just to lie your way through the check-up, so you can come out and harm others?”

I teared up from anxiety.

“I’m not pretending! She’s the one who…”

“Enough!”

My mother’s shrieks were piercing.

“You’re crazy through and through! You would have episodes, and in those split moments, you’d lose control.

“I’m the head of the psychiatry department. I’ve seen a lot more cases like this!”

Sally leaned against my mother’s embrace and sobbed, “I just wanted to tell Clara that I’ll cook for her when we reach home…

“I didn’t expect her to suddenly…”

Xander stood in the hallway and looked at me. Then, he looked at Sally without saying a word.

I stared at him intently. “Xander, trust me. I really didn’t hurt her!”

He looked down and took a step back.

It was as if he was hiding from a lunatic.

My mother took out the discharge papers that she had just signed and tore it into two before me.

“I was too naive! I thought you’d learn from your mistakes after being locked up for a hundred days.”

She turned to Dr. Johnson.

“I don’t agree with your findings.

“I’m the head of the psychiatry department. I know my daughter’s condition better than anyone else.

“She’s a typical case that demonstrates episodic outbursts. The moments of clarity don’t prove anything.”

Dr. Johnson gaped and wanted to say something.

Yet, my mother glared at him so he chose to not say anything.

Victor carried Sally and walked out. When he walked past me, he did not even look at me.

The door shut.

The hallway became silent again.

I leaned my back against the wall and slowly slid down. Then, I sat on the floor.

My mother’s last words were still replaying in my mind.

“Before she truly learns from her mistakes, please don’t contact us anymore!”

She did not know what it meant if I was not discharged on that day.

She thought that if she locked me up for a long time, I would admit to my mistakes and apologize.

She did not know that I had no time left.

That night, I did not sleep at all.

It was the last night that I would still have a conscious mind.

When it was morning, the caregivers walked in.

“Clara, come with me.”

I sat up without struggling.

I changed into my surgical gown and lay on the hospital bed.

Similar to all the past patients, I was wheeled to that door.

When they administered anesthesia to me, I shut my eyes.

When I opened my eyes again, I felt nothing.

Nothing hurt, and nothing made me upset. I could not feel fear any longer.

Jane was making her rounds. When she asked me to eat my medicine, I ate them.

When she asked me to sleep, I would sleep.

She told me to sit in the communal hall, and I would follow her instructions.

I sat there for a whole day. Even though my eyes were on the TV, I did not know what was playing on it.

When other patients talked to me, I would nod and smile, yet I did not know what they were saying. I did not know what I was smiling about either.

I was very docile, and I had never been that calm in my entire life.

Jane recorded: Clara’s emotions are stable, and she’s recovering well.

A month later, Jane informed me, “Your family’s here to fetch you.”

I followed her to the hall.

Three people were standing there.

There was a woman with her hair tied up. She was wearing a brown coat.

A young man was smiling brightly at me.

The other young man was holding a bouquet of flowers.

The woman walked over with teary eyes.

“Clara, I’m here to take you home.”

The young man holding the flowers smiled. “I’ve bought the plane tickets. We’ll go see the aurora next week.”

I looked at them and cocked my head.

“Who are you?”