Chapter 3

I thought I had made a mistake, so I checked several more times. The photos were still gone, as if they had never existed.

My head suddenly started pounding again. It felt like it was about to split open.

"Walter, I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well. I need to go!" I said.

I went to the clinic at the edge of town and got some painkillers. They barely eased the pain.

Once I calmed down, I suddenly remembered that my phone password was my birthday.

Only Mom and I knew the password.

Had Mom deleted those pictures? Was she secretly trying to stop me from investigating?

I headed home. Before I even got close, I saw Mom standing before the crucifix in the living room, quietly muttering to herself.

I silently slipped over to the doorway and listened in.

"God, if someone has to pay for this, let it be me. Everything I've done all these years has been for Lindsay and this family."

Mom's voice was hoarse, as if she had been crying for a long time.

"Mr. Lowe used to take advantage of me all the time. I was raising a child alone, and he kept showing up at my door.

"Mrs. Shaw cheated me out of my wages and left me with barely enough to eat.

"I hated them, but there was nothing I could do. I had to endure it all for Lindsay.

"I went to the doctor. He said I needed to find a way to let out all the anger I was carrying."

She paused, then continued, "After that, I started writing down all my anger in the merit ledger. Once I had written it down, it felt like I had really gotten back at them, and I felt better.

"But I never thought they would actually die! God, if what I wrote caused their deaths, I'll accept whatever punishment comes my way.

"But I really never killed anyone. Please don't punish Lindsay for this. She doesn't know anything."

I stood outside the door, stunned.

I never expected this. The words in the merit ledger weren't records of murder after all.

They were simply the strongest form of protest and release a fragile woman like Mom could manage.

My eyes suddenly stung.

I thought I knew how much Mom had suffered over the years. Now I realized I had only understood part of it.

She had carried all that pain alone, and what had I done?

I had suspected her of being a murderer.

After Mom was done crying, she left again. She seemed to be going to talk to the town mayor about my tuition fees.

While she was gone, I went into her bedroom and found a medical report under her pillow.

The words on the page suddenly hit me hard.

"Diagnosis: Moderate depression. Recommendation: Take medication and find healthy ways to release negative emotions."

The date was July 2014.

I had just won third place in a math competition. I was so happy, but I had no idea Mom was going through this kind of pain.

Suddenly, I felt terrible about it.

I left Mom's room, thinking I'd apologize as soon as she came back.

Just then, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

A notification popped up on the screen. "Photos restored."

I remembered that I'd had the backup feature turned on, so the photos had been restored automatically.

But the moment I saw the pictures, I froze.

The dates written in the merit ledger were 2008 and 2010.

Mom hadn't even seen a doctor yet, but she had already started writing in the ledger.

So her confession earlier had all been a lie!