Chapter 5 (Cigarette)

Chapter 5

Astherielle's POV

"A-Ah... C-Calculus..."

I looked at both sides of me, quickly trying to avoid showing that I was tense with this guy and the many eyes staring at me. I slowly adjusted my standing position while thinking discreetly.

"Ah... H-Honestly, I haven't memorized the exact and complicated definition of it for myself..."

It was really complicated when I first read it.

I shifted my gaze to the blackboard as my excuse, so I wouldn't appear to be scrutinizing this guy too much. It was unfair that my vision was still clear enough to see his good looks and charm from where I was standing.

Why am I doing this again?

Ah, I know... Maybe it's because he's the first good-looking guy I've ever seen. I'm sure there are more handsome men out there, but since I'm too shy to look at each of my classmates' faces one by one, I assumed he was the most handsome man I've seen so far. Yeah... Of course... Later, I might find someone even more handsome than him!

During my walk earlier, I got engrossed in sightseeing rather than paying attention to the people around me. I had plenty of time to stroll around earlier, and this is the only time my attention is focused because I'm now in class and facing my subject teacher, whom I'd just met and seen for the first time.

"Just answer me what you know, Miss Zuluetevo," he said again in a bored tone.

This guy didn't even adjust for me! He made me recite without even warming up my butt on the seat. Ugh!

I wanted to hold my chin while recalling the exact meaning. It's like my brain won't work unless I'm in that position. That's one of my involuntary mannerisms...

"But I know the simplest meaning of it for me... Only in my own understanding..."

"My time is running, Miss... All of us," he demanded in a deep voice. Yes, his voice is already deep, but it's even deeper now because he's getting impatient with me.

I wanted to cringe in embarrassment. I knew the simplest meaning, but it seemed to have been erased from my mind.

I swallowed slowly as he leaned forward, his thick eyebrows slightly raised. "Well? Are you going to answer me or not?" I could see the question in his eyes.

Thank goodness I remembered the first module my advisor gave me on the first day of homeschooling this semester.

"A-Ah..."

"I don't need your moans, Miss Zuluetevo. I need you to answer the question."

Moan? Who? Me? Did he just call me a moaner? That's no different from the sound "Ummm" and "Hmmm" people make when they're thinking!

My green-minded classmates stifled their laughter and pretended not to notice. I could hear them all, even if they tried to hide it.

"I-I am n-not-" I stopped and swallowed the rest of my words. It's better not to say anything else and risk further embarrassment.

Damn it! Why did my classmates' reactions seem to confirm that I really did moan? I feel so ashamed right now.

I wanted to get out of the unlucky situation, so I quickly searched in the depths of my mind for the answer that I was confident was correct.

"Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with rates of change..." I said in a steady tone to everyone. "That's what I know. And... sorry if I said earlier... that you won't have a hard time with me... It seems that you might have a bit of a hard time... but just a bit... sir..."

I emphasized the "sir" to pretend that I am a very respectful person. But I didn't moan earlier, okay! I was just thinking, that's why!

It's just annoying that he slightly raised his eyebrows earlier. That's all. There was no "You're correct, Miss!" or "Excellent" coming from him. But is that even a thing at the college level?

With what he did to me, I realized that he is boring to teach and even the subject he teaches is boring. Do you know what wakes you up? It's his body language and aura! Let's include his handsome face!

I almost looked at it again, but thankfully I remembered his accusation that I was moaning earlier!

He said, "Okay....you may now sit."

My smile was completely shattered. I could feel it, and I decided to sit down with my head slightly bowed. I won't look at him for the rest of the class, only at the blackboard where he would teach.

As I looked towards the front, from the corner of my eye, I saw him turn around and start writing beside the blackboard, near the whiteboard. He was flexing his neck and arm muscles as if he was trying to show off.

What surprised me was what I noticed about my female classmates. Almost all of them were smiling and staring at the Professor. I lost my focus when I noticed the girl beside me, her chin resting on her hand, seemingly daydreaming as she stared at the Professor.

I heard her whisper, "There's no difficult subject with a handsome and delicious Professor." She smiled like a happy cat being petted on the head.

It's really concerning if everyone here has that kind of mindset. This Professor seems like someone who fails students.

I don't pay much attention to what's happening because I never look at the guy in front. I suddenly remember the reason why I was hospitalized for two years... It was because of the guys who trigger my condition. Even though I'm better now, I still feel like I need to be careful. I'll start that mission with this person.

Later, I'll just visualize what he writes on the whiteboard and then write it down in my notebook to study again at home. I'll still glance over here, but I won't look directly at his eyes. I'll just take down notes when I need to.

I've been hunched over for a long time while writing stuff in my notebook. When I felt tired, I subtly moved my eyeballs upwards. His head turned slightly towards me when he caught me looking. He rarely lifts his head to look at me, but when he does, I get caught!

"Hey! Get yourself together, Astherielle! No malice! He's probably your Professor! Your Professor who teaches in front!" my mind scolds me.

You are right.

I tilted the left half of my lips, forming a crooked smile. He didn't smile back at me. Instead, he folded his sleeves further and raised his arm with a pen in hand.

"So, as I was saying, the examples and solutions to the problems I'm discussing are already in your books... Those are just simple examples to help you follow along."

He said all that while still looking at me. Maybe he thought that because I was looking down the whole time earlier, I wasn't listening to him. Little did he know, I was making a lot of noise in my head.

The background behind him made me feel like crying. There were so many things written on the board, and it made me dizzy just looking at it. I could understand it to some extent, but it would be much easier if someone less intimidating was teaching me. But I had no choice; I had to make an effort to adjust.

"Yes, Professor," the girls said in unison.

The professor turned his attention to the girl who spoke up, who was giggling and cutely raising her right hand. "Yes, Miss?" he replied.

The girl stumbled over her words and giggled again. "Umm... Professor, because you haven't introduced yourself to our new classmate yet..."

I was surprised by what she said. There was no need for that. And besides... was she asking for me or herself? It was obvious that she liked him.

"But didn't you introduce yourself to us twice before? Whenever there's a new student, you introduce yourself to them... Maybe..." she trailed off.

"This girl is really something..." I thought, feeling embarrassed but also amused by the girl sitting next to me. She glanced at me and nudged me with her elbow. "Just forgive her... The girls really love it when Prof introduces himself! Oh my, she's so in love! Anyway, you'll find out later!" She lowered her head to whisper the trivia to me.

"Huh? Uhmm..." I replied.

I didn't know what to do when I felt Prof turn his attention towards me again. Out of respect, I reluctantly turned away from my seatmate and faced him.

The whole class, including myself, froze in anticipation of what Prof would say next. I wanted to raise my hand and shake my head, saying "It's okay, Prof. You don't have to introduce yourself to me."

"There, there!" I heard faint giggles from the girls.

Why do they always have to involve me? I went through my entire homeschooling experience without ever meeting any of the teachers who created my modules.

"Yes, by the way. You don't know me yet..."

"Here it goes!" I heard a soft squeal from the girl in the middle trying to persuade him.

"Sure..." he seemed to agree just to stop her. "Miss Zuluetevo..." he looked straight into my eyes as he began.

I ignored it and convinced myself that since I was the only new student in the class, he was probably going to introduce himself to me only. I had a strange desire for him to introduce himself to me, so I remained silent.

"Aw! So lucky! With even a name call-out! Aw! I wish it were all of us!"

"Why didn't we get that kind of treatment and no mention of our last or first names?"

"I should have been late in coming to this block so I could have the introduction portion all to myself!"

Those were just three of the many rants I heard from my female classmates.

There, I was even envied by everyone.

"I am Professor Sheids Noah Ravias Fawzi," he introduced himself to my eyes. "Your..." His left eyebrow raised. "Your Calculus Professor, obviously, from now on..." he added slowly, then tilted his head down and paused.

"Ouch! Why do I feel that so much? Why do you seem to be introducing yourself to me, Prof?" the gay guy exclaimed earlier.

I couldn't help but smile at every reaction of the girls here. There were those gaping, those who seemed to have dropped their hearts, and those whose eyelids didn't tire from blinking in their endless attempts to appear cute to this Professor.

"Thanks for the warm welcome, Miss Zuluetevo... I hope that your smile means that."

I was caught off guard by what he suddenly said and the unexpected one-sided smile on his lips. He is giving me a gentle mixed badass approach.

"I find joy in my classmates and not in you, Sir," that was what I wanted to clarify in my mind, but I was too shy and amazed by his beauty, his white and even teeth, that I'll just leave it in my mind.

"Ah... Thank you, I love it too," he chuckled softly, then tilted his head and smiled.

I couldn't help but let my eyes crawl down his throat, to his Adam's apple rising and falling there. If I continue scanning him, I'll see his open chest that's begging for my attention. A strange heat is choking me, creeping up to my tight throat.

I quickly shook my head, it's a part of my way to avoid what's happening to me.

"Nice meeting you, Prof," I said to myself and to the strange feeling I'm experiencing. I smiled gently again.

When he looked away, I took the opportunity to escape his gaze. The class continued and ended without me looking at him again. I quickly took out my phone and took a picture of what was on the blackboard. Even as I left the classroom, I didn't bother to glance at anyone.

I'm annoyed because it feels like my first day at this university wasn't complete without looking at that professor one last time. "He's the only good-looking guy I've seen so far," I tried to rationalize. "Yes, that's it..." I said to myself before hastening my steps away from the building and away from everyone, including that guy.

I left through gate two since my aunt was supposed to pick me up there. It was already nine in the evening, and we were going home to Rizal.

A few minutes later, my aunt texted me saying she would be a bit late due to a sudden project she had to fix. I just replied that it was okay with me.

Because it was dark at the waiting shed where I was staying, I decided to leave and walk towards the main gate of the university, where it was brighter and more people were hanging out. The shed was just beside the gate two entrance, and it was safe since there was a guard stationed there. However, the mosquitoes were starting to bite me, so I needed to leave before I ran out of blood.

As I reached gate one, I heard loud shouts, laughter, and teasing. From where I stood, I saw a billiard hall not far away, directly opposite gate one, with only a road separating us.

When I reached that area, it was a bit smoky because of the men who were smoking there. I pulled out my handkerchief from my pants pocket and used it as a cover for my nose. I had to pass through that area before reaching the main gate.

But then, right in front of the billiards station, I immediately noticed that familiar man wearing his familiar sleeve and slacks. Half of his body was leaning on the billiard table, holding a cue, and seemed to be aiming for a good angle and technique to hit the ball into the hole.

So, this is where this Professor hangs out after his class at this hour...

This time, five buttons of his long sleeve were unbuttoned. Sweat was trickling down his temples and chest. What I tried to avoid peeking at earlier was now blatantly visible to me. His eyes were sharp as if he wanted to aim for something in that game.

I was a bit uncomfortable watching him play because it felt like the tip of the cue was pointed at me. I removed the handkerchief from my nose and debated in my mind whether he would be able to make the shot or not.

As soon as I see him shoot, I will leave immediately...

I continued to pray that he would make the shot. I watched intently as he aimed for the ball in front of the tip of the cue. However, I soon realized that I was no longer just praying for him to make the shot. It seemed like nothing was happening! I turned my gaze back to his face, causing me to jump slightly from my position. He was looking directly at me, not at the ball or the cue.

Imagine, he was in that position on top of the billiard table, but his eyes were not where they should have been. How did he see me from such a distance?

As a sly grin appeared on his lips, I felt as though someone had pushed me. Not only was he grinning, but he also seemed surprised! I quickly continued my walk, feeling like men were just trouble for me.

I sat on a bench near the main gate to rest and recuperate. Although I had managed to forget the incident earlier, I promised myself that I would not pass by that place again. Not just because of what happened earlier, but also because it was a gathering spot for men who smoked and gambled through betting on billiards.

"It's late...why are you still here?"

I know I'm getting sleepy, but I couldn't let that voice go unnoticed coming from nearby. I turned my head in slow motion because I already had an idea of who it was just from the sound of his voice.

"Professor Fawzi..."

His back and head were leaning against the nearby wall. There was an unlit cigarette between his lips. His hands were searching for a lighter on his body but seemed to have found nothing, so he just chuckled and removed it from his mouth.

"One cigarette reduces life by eleven minutes..."

I know he's our Professor, but he should be reminded of that now...

End of Astherielle's POV