Relief

Rebecca hobbled quickly towards the direction of the shack she shared with her siblings. She could see the shack up ahead but not her siblings. Michael and Joanna should have been perched on different sides of the dilapidating construction, playing, while Brianna should have been curled up on a chair reading a novel. But none of them were in sight. Her heart fell into her stomach. She increased her pace, ignoring her protesting leg.

Around her, people she’d known all her life, both old and young were all staring at her. Most of them had worried looks on their faces but no one dared stop her. They knew that dark look on her face. On good days, she would chirp all day, greeting and conversing with the people in her small community, but today wasn’t one of those days and they knew it. All they could do was worry and hope she wouldn’t hurt herself.

James and John were at both sides of her, gauging her movements. They were walking sideways, their bodies slightly bent at the waist, and their knees curved, almost facing opposite ends. Their faces held care and concern, while their arms stretched out, ready to catch Rebecca who they feared would give in to her shaky legs and fall.

“Brianna!” Rebecca yelled, limping up the three wooden stairs in front of their shack.

No one answered.

They were supposed to rush out now. They were supposed to start screaming her name and jumping excitedly, but none of that happened.

With a heart of trepidation, she creaked the zinc front door open and stepped into the space they used as a living room.

She was breathing heavily now, while her heart pounded against her ribcage, threatening to jump out.

“Brianna!” she called out again.

“Yea! We’re over here,” 13-year-old Brianna answered from somewhere inside the shack.

Rebecca breathed a huge sigh of relief. Her siblings were good. Although they all didn’t answer, Brianna, their spokesperson had answered. It was a good sign.

She slogged forward, a bit relaxed now.

She passed the battered wooden room demarcation into another space which was the makeshift bedroom for her siblings and herself.

 She exhaled again when she saw all three of them pounced over a big plate of rice. She couldn’t help but smile sadly. She was happy they had something to eat but she knew they tasted severe starvation before this.

She felt like a failure. She felt she hadn’t kept her promise to her late foster parents. She was to care for them till they could care for themselves, but as it is, she felt defeated and tired. At the same time though, looking at them, living with them gave her strength to keep living in this infuriatingly harsh world. They gave her purpose. They gave her something to wake up to every morning, and she wouldn’t trade that for anything else.

This was why she dreaded the day they’d realize they no longer needed her and would then move on with their lives. She didn’t know what she’d do then.