Chapter 5

••• Seleste’s POV •••

The next morning, I woke up alone with no Ezekiel in sight. The empty space on his side of the room felt unusually cold, but I breathed a heavy sigh of relief because it meant I could finally check my wounds without him hovering over me or trying to forcefully help me.

When I peeled back the bandage to check the injuries, they were already healing nicely, the torn flesh closing up thanks to my hidden witch biology. I saw this swift recovery as a perfect opportunity not to hide the thick linen bandages that I usually had to use to bind and flatten my breasts with.

I unrolled the blood-spotted cloth and threw the bindings into the wastebasket, knowing that if Ezekiel happened to see them, he would simply assume they were discarded dressings from my shoulder wound. It wasn't really a total lie anyway, as I had used half of the wraps to bandage the actual deep structural injuries from my brutal sparring match with Tristan the day before. Still, the fear of leaving any physical evidence of my true gender behind made my pulse race a little faster.

I quickly bathed, meticulously bound my chest with fresh, tight cloth until breathing became a minor chore, and set out to the grand dining room for breakfast. But the moment I crossed the threshold into the chaotic, echoing space, a cold knot formed in my stomach. I saw Zeke had already sat down at a long table far in the back, surrounded by a noisy crowd of other Alpha students, with his back turned completely toward the entrance.

His usual spot near the main doors where he sometimes sat with me was, of course, completely empty. It was then that the crushing reality hit me—I had genuinely hurt his pride during our explosive confrontation last night. He was deliberately avoiding me because of our fight about him wanting to help with my wounds.

To say I wasn’t hurt by his sudden iciness would be a lie, but I had to violently remind myself that personal feelings had to be squashed down in a cutthroat place like this. Vulnerability had absolutely no place in this elite academy if I wanted to excel, survive, or even stand a chance at becoming the ultimate Alpha of the Lighttail Banes Pack.

I lined up in the crowded queue, picked up my basic breakfast of choice, and sat down at my usual table in the center section, praying no one would bother me. I kept my head down and quietly picked at my food with a fork, having completely lost any interest in actually eating.

All around me, other Alpha-to-be students were chatting loudly, laughing brutally, and slamming their trays onto the tables, but because I was sitting entirely alone, I suddenly felt profoundly isolated and exposed. I hated those feelings of weakness because they made my eyes burn with a sudden, frustrating heat. I had to blink frantically a few times just to ensure I wouldn’t cry in a room full of predators. I even had to tightly grit my teeth until my jaw ached, forcing myself to look calm and strong on the outside.

Every time I allowed my gaze to glance toward Ezekiel’s table, I could see his shoulders were rigid with an unnatural tension.

Although he refused to look at me directly, I caught him stealing quick, anxious looks at me through the dark reflection in the large glass window. But the exact millisecond our eyes met through the glass, he immediately turned his head away, his jaw tightening.

“This is entirely your fault,” Freya, my wolf, scolded me sharply in the back of my mind.

Her voice didn't help my mental state at all because my stomach had already churned with a toxic mix of guilt and anxiety. I knew deep down that I had hurt the feelings of someone who was only trying to show me genuine kindness.

But instead of admitting that to her, I shot back internally, let my irritation flare up. “Do you prefer him to know that I’m a woman and get me instantly expelled, Freya? Or worse, do you want all the remaining members of the Lighttail Banes Pack to be punished or completely annihilated by the elders for our deception?”

I thought I had successfully shut her up with the gravity of my words, but Freya was a stubborn wolf.

“You could still be nicer to him instead of behaving like a rabid animal the way you did last night,” she scolded me. Again.

This time, instead of wasting energy saying anything back to her, I kept quiet because I saw absolutely no point in arguing with a wolf who ruled on emotion. To be completely honest with myself, I still didn't have a single clue how to properly behave in this masculine academy.

How exactly would a young man behave when he was injured? Because I didn’t really know the subtle nuances of male friendships, and because I absolutely couldn't risk my cover being blown, I preferred to just be distant, cold, and entirely untouchable toward others. It was safer that way.

I forced myself to swallow the remaining food despite having no appetite at all, acutely aware that showing any sign of physical weakness—even only to Ezekiel—or skipping meals entirely would instantly draw unwanted, dangerous attention from the instructors.

Because of the severity of my sparring wounds, the academy medic had officially exempted me from today’s grueling lessons. With absolutely nothing to do and Ezekiel training somewhere out on the muddy grounds, I quietly navigated the corridors and went back to our empty room.

Without meaning to think about it, the moment the door clicked shut, my mind wandered right back to Ezekiel.

Did he truly hate me that much just because I didn't allow him to touch me or help me with my injuries? Was he really the type of guy who was easily offended by a roommate's boundaries?

I sat down on the edge of the mattress and thought deeply about every single interaction we had ever shared—even the brief, passing encounters when we were children back in the old territories—but the truth was that I still didn't know what kind of man Ezekiel had truly become. We had only been at the academy for a few days, and before our arrival here, our paths had barely ever crossed.

“You should be kinder to him,” Freya suddenly spoke up again, but her mental tone was completely stripped of malice this time. “Maybe he could be our ally in this place. We can't survive this alone, Seleste.”

Hmm… Maybe Freya was right. Since we were forced to be roommates, maybe I should try to be a little nicer to him. But a terrifying counter-thought brushed against my spine: What if he already suspected my secret, and Freya was completely wrong about him being a safe ally?

Not wanting to overthink the panic at the moment, I leaned back on the bed and let my mind drift into the past, specifically the competitive history I shared with Ezekiel.

We didn’t really have many interactions, as I’d stated earlier, but he had definitely made a lasting impression on me when we were young. I was actually deeply jealous of him back then, because even at that time, I already knew he was destined to become a powerful Alpha. A strong, unquestioned leader. And back then, I believed I had absolutely no chance of ever becoming one no matter how much my soul wanted it, because of the strict rules against females.

I just hadn't expected to run into him here of all places, and the shock of it had caught me completely off guard, especially since he was so unexpectedly nice. He was actually the nicest guy I had encountered so far since staying at this brutal academy.

But could his kindness just be because I was his assigned roommate? Or was it just his natural disposition to protect those he thought were weaker?

Tristan was for sure not nice to me. He was a predator looking for blood. And Skylar… I still didn't know what to think of him. He seemed entirely playful, but there was a hidden calculation behind his smiles.

But Ezekiel… For now, he was neither mean nor superficial. He had been genuinely concerned about me last night and truly wanted to help clean my wounds.

Was Freya right? Was it entirely my fault that we were estranged today? But how could I possibly let him clean my skin without him finding out the physical shape of my body? It would be completely impossible! And even though Freya seemed to trust his wolf instincts, I didn't trust him. At least not yet.

Although… a dark worry crept into my thoughts. Maybe he already had his suspicions about my identity. After all, the very first time we met here, he had openly told me he couldn't remember the Lighttail Banes Pack ever having a male heir to be the next Alpha.

But then, the last time our packs had met, the Lighttail Banes Pack was near total extinction and we had to flee from the catastrophic war that was happening. It was only because of that bloody chaos I was able to lie through my teeth about being a distant, forgotten cousin brought in to secure the line.

Arrrgghhhh… This was all so incredibly confusing and stressful. This time, for real, I didn't want to think about him or the agonizing way he had actively avoided my gazes during breakfast.

With absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the day, I decided to maybe take a nap to escape my spiraling thoughts. I slid under the heavy cover of my bed, but right before closing my eyes to sleep, I felt a sudden, electric urge to check my digital time table for tomorrow's resumption of classes.

I pulled out the academy ledger, and the moment my eyes locked onto the text written for tomorrow's first period, my eyes widened in absolute horror. My heart rate started to violently speed up, pounding against my bound chest, and I could feel every single drop of blood drain completely from my face.