2: Rejection

No one truly understands the pain of heartbreak until the person they love shatters their heart. Today was meant to be a monumental day for Nathan and me—the day we would finally mate and become one. But life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it.

The moment I walked in, Nathan jumped away from Jessi and literally fell off the bed with a loud thud. Jessi giggled, flashing me a wicked grin that made my blood boil. I wanted nothing more than to punch her as she lay there, looking smug before turning back to Nathan with a seductive smile. "You were good, Nathan, so good," she laughed, sinking back onto the bed like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I was frozen, unable to move or even lash out at her or Nathan. The betrayal cut deep, a slow, agonizing pain that felt like it was consuming me. Her words echoed in my mind: "You were good, so good…" 

Nathan and I had never crossed that line; he always claimed he wasn’t ready, but it was clear now—he just wasn’t ready for me. My legs buckled beneath me, and I leaned against the wall, gasping for breath as nausea washed over me. I was more disappointed in Nathan than Jessi, I expected that Jessi, after all she’s a bitch but Nathan… he was the love of my life and I thought he was the only person that would never ever hurt me.

Tears pricked at my eyes, and everything I thought I knew began to unravel. All our plans, every shared moment, and every promise he made felt like they were slipping away. We were supposed to be mated today but he had ruined it all. It dawned on me that Nathan wasn’t in love with me like I believed because if he was, he wouldn’t do this to me. He would have never hurt me like this, especially on my special day. 

He rolled over, his hands fumbling as he grabbed for his jeans, trying to shove one leg in but repeatedly missing the hole. Frustration bubbled up inside him as he swore under his breath, grunting in annoyance, clearly struggling to get dressed. "Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he begged, his voice trembling with desperation and panic, his wide eyes pleading for my forgiveness.

My heart raced uncontrollably, pounding against my ribcage like a drum, while my ears rang with a deafening silence. A cold sweat broke out across my skin, and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I needed to get out of this suffocating room; I craved fresh air. The stale scent of sex hung heavily in the air, making my stomach churn. I had never felt so shattered, so incredibly low, and so utterly worthless in my entire life.

"Nathan, why?" I whispered, my voice barely above a breath as I searched his face for answers. I was desperate to understand why I wasn’t enough for him, why he couldn’t love me and want only me, just as I did for him. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know. It just happened, and she threw herself at me. The next thing I knew, I was naked on the bed, and then you walked in." His voice was thick with emotion, raw and husky, as he tried to explain the unexplainable.

With tears welling in my eyes, I managed to say, "Well, now I’m out so you can continue." I turned away, not wanting to hear another word from him, the pain in my chest too much to bear.

Nathan knew how much this day meant to me. He understood my dreams of us being together, and how I had envisioned our future. We had been together for a year, eagerly planning to mate on my birthday—the day I turned eighteen, the day I could finally be with him. But after witnessing this betrayal, after seeing him with someone else, there was no way I could ever agree to be with him again. The trust was shattered, and my heart felt irrevocably broken.

As I made my way down the stairs and into the living area, the excitement in the room was palpable. Everyone jumped up to wish me a happy birthday, their faces lit with joy, but to their surprise, they found me with tears streaming down my cheeks. My mom’s face twisted in confusion, her brows furrowing deeply as she asked, "What’s wrong, Bella?"

I couldn’t find the words to explain the storm of emotions swirling inside me, so I just turned away from her, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Even if I had mustered the courage to tell her, I knew she wouldn’t see Jessi’s faults. She adored Jessi so much that all her mistakes seemed like charming quirks, while my own attempts at perfection felt like nothing but failures in comparison.

As I stepped out of the house, the cool air hit my face, but it did little to soothe the turmoil within. Nathan walked behind me, his voice filled with urgency as he tried to explain himself, but I couldn’t bear to listen. He had shattered something precious, and there was no way I could find it in my heart to forgive him. My heart raced, pounding against my rib cage as if trying to escape the crushing weight of despair. Everything around me felt like it was collapsing, and the image of Nathan naked with Jessi kept flashing in my mind, a painful reminder of betrayal.

Trying to talk to me while I brushed him off, Nathan exclaimed, "Okay fine, don’t listen to me, but at least before you go, wait for me to reject you so everything else will be over." His words pierced through me, and my heart broke as my feet came to a sudden halt.

I turned around to face him, shock coursing through my veins at what he just said. "You don’t get to be the one rejecting. I reject you, Nathan Miller. I reject you, I reject you. I fucking reject you!" I spat at his feet, my voice trembling with rage. He looked at me with anger simmering in his eyes, but he didn’t utter a single word. I couldn’t stand there any longer, so I stomped away, the weight of my emotions dragging me down.

As I walked away, more tears streamed down my face. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it; it felt surreal, like a nightmare I couldn’t escape. I guess Jessi had been right all those years ago—she could effortlessly make anyone in my life love her more than they loved me.