CHAPTER 19: AFTERMATH

✦ 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓 ✦

I didn't sleep.

Every time I closed my eyes, the hallway found me again. The dim floor lights, the heavy heat coming off Xavier's chest, his palm planted against the wall beside my head... and that quiet, lethal voice.

Because I don't like the way he looks at you.

I rolled over for the hundredth time, staring blankly at the shadows on my ceiling. He was just being controlling. Overprotective. Possessive for reasons I still couldn't understand. That’s what I kept telling myself.

So why was my heart racing like I’d just run a mile every time his words repeated in my head?

By seven in the morning, I gave up on sleep entirely, showered, and headed downstairs. My plan was simple: get in, grab something quick, and leave for campus before anyone else woke up.

I walked into the kitchen, only to freeze in the doorway.

Richard was already gone, but my mom was standing by the stove, humming softly to herself as she set down a plate of warm pastries. Sitting at the marble island, holding a mug of black coffee, was Xavier.

He was dressed in a clean dark suit, but he looked exhausted. The faint dark circles under his eyes were impossible to miss, his jaw shadowed with fresh stubble. He didn't look angry or imposing like he had last night. He just looked tired.

"Good morning, honey," my mom smiled, looking up. "You're up early."

"Yeah," I murmured, keeping my voice low. "Early class."

I walked around the far side of the island, intentionally keeping my distance. Xavier didn't say a word. He didn't even look up at first, just staring down into his coffee mug. The silence between us felt heavy, awkward, and completely suffocating. Neither of us made a single reference to the hallway.

I pulled a plate toward myself and reached for the jar of jam sitting in the middle of the counter.

At the exact same second, Xavier reached for it too.

Our fingers brushed.

It was a fraction of a second—just the graze of his knuckles against mine—but heat shot straight up my arm like an electric shock. We both yanked our hands back immediately.

The silence stretched for a heartbeat too long.

My mother kept talking about grocery shopping as if nothing had happened. I wasn't sure if Xavier had felt it too... or if I was the only idiot whose pulse had decided to betray him over a simple touch.

"Sorry," I muttered quickly, looking down at my plate.

"Take it," Xavier said. His voice was lower than usual, gravelly from sleep and exhaustion.

I grabbed the jar without looking at him, my pulse thumping wildly in my throat. I swallowed a few quick bites, barely tasting the food, before slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"I'm heading out," I told my mom, practically sprinting out the door to escape the quiet storm sitting at that kitchen counter.

Campus was a welcome distraction.

By ten, all the shortlisted fellowship candidates were called into the main auditorium in the economics building. The department head stood at the podium, going over the final guidelines.

"The initial review phase is officially closed," the professor announced, his voice echoing through the room. "Over the next three weeks, each of you will undergo individual panel interviews and present your independent market research. Only one candidate will be awarded the fellowship."

Sitting two rows ahead of me, Tristan was slouched in his seat, spinning a pen between his fingers. He looked bored, but his jaw was tight.

A few seats away from him sat Maya Lin, a quiet senior who had consistently topped the department's analytical metrics for two years, and Marcus Vance, a guy from the honors track whose family ran one of the city's top hedge funds.

Looking around the auditorium, it finally hit me. Tristan wasn't my biggest obstacle anymore. He was just one of them.

When the meeting wrapped up, Adrian met me outside in the hallway.

"Only one spot," Adrian sighed, running a hand through his hair as we walked toward the library. "No pressure, right?"

"Yeah," I said, my mind drifting for a second back to the kitchen island, to the sudden heat of Xavier's fingers against mine.

Adrian paused, looking at me closely. "Hey... you okay? You look a million miles away."

"Just tired," I lied, forcing a small smile. "Didn't sleep well last night."

Adrian was easy to be around. Easy conversations. Easy smiles. No guessing games. No suffocating silence. No racing heartbeat every time he stood too close. Everything with Adrian was simple.

So why did my mind keep drifting back to someone who made everything complicated?

"Don't burn yourself out, Julian," Adrian said gently, bumping his shoulder against mine in a friendly, reassuring way. "We still have our group assessment to nail first. Come on, I bought coffee"

Around lunch, I was stepping out of the faculty restrooms near the administrative offices when I heard heated voices down the corridor.

I stopped, pulling back behind the corner.

Tristan was leaning against the wall, speaking sharply to one of the student union representatives.

"—I don't care who interfered," Tristan was saying, his voice laced with venom. "Nobody embarrasses my family like that. My dad didn't pull that hold back, which means someone higher up forced the dean's hand."

"Tristan, drop it," the rep murmured, looking around nervously. "The board cleared the file. If you make a scene, it's going to look like you filed a false report."

"I know what I filed," Tristan snapped, his eyes narrowing into slits. "And I'm going to find out who stepped in."

He turned on his heel and walked off down the hall.

I stood frozen behind the wall, my throat dry. Tristan wasn't letting it go. He was looking for answers—and if he dug deep enough, he was going to trace it straight back to whoever made that call. Straight back to Xavier.

By seven that evening, I was back at the house, sitting at the dining table with my mother. Richard was missing, and so was Xavier.

"Richard called a bit ago," my mom mentioned casually, passing me a salad bowl. "He and Xavier are stuck at the firm for an emergency board meeting. Some major allocation dispute came up, so they won't be home for dinner."

Good. That's what I should have felt. Relief.

Instead... I found myself glancing toward the empty chair beside Richard's. Once. Then again. Waiting for someone who wasn't coming home tonight.

The realization made my appetite disappear.

By midnight, the entire house was dark and dead silent.

I was lying in bed, trying to read through my econometrics notes under the soft light of my desk lamp. But every five minutes, my eyes kept drifting toward the door. Listening. Waiting.

Ten minutes later, the faint sound of the front door lock turning downstairs echoed through the quiet house.

I lasted maybe thirty seconds.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was already out of bed. My bedroom door creaked open just enough for me to look into the hallway.

Why am I doing this?

I didn't have an answer. Maybe I just wanted some water. Maybe I wanted to make sure the noise I'd heard downstairs wasn't someone breaking in.

Maybe...

I cut the thought off before I could finish it.

Down below at the landing, Xavier was setting his leather briefcase on the bottom stair. His suit jacket was off, slung over his forearm, and his tie was completely undone.

He was unbuttoning his cuffs when a floorboard beneath my foot gave a tiny, quiet squeak.

Xavier stopped. He slowly lifted his head, his dark grey eyes cutting straight up through the shadows of the staircase.

Our eyes locked.

Neither of us said a word. The silence stretched between us, heavy, thick, and completely exposed. Caught redhanded standing in the dark hallway like an idiot, my face burned with sudden, overwhelming embarrassment.

I panicked, immediately pulling back and shutting my bedroom door softly.

What the hell was I doing?

Five minutes ago, I'd promised myself I was going to keep my distance. I'd spent the entire day trying not to think about him.

Yet the second I heard the front door... I'd gone looking.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing the heels of my hands against them.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Xavier was becoming impossible to ignore.

And what terrified me most... wasn't the way he looked at me anymore.

It was the fact that I was starting to look for him too………