ELIZABETH.
I was right.
I, in fact, do not like whatever is happening right now.
I watch as Gabriel places his hand over my mom’s and she doesn’t flinch at all. If anything; she seems completely used to it with that small smile that appears by the corner of her mouth.
My mind tells me that I already know what they want to announce but my heart refuses to believe it.
“We plan to get married. “Gabriel finally drops the bomb and I can’t hear anything else in the room over the loud beats of my heart. A heart that’s beating from astonishment, betrayal, and fear? Why am I feeling betrayed? I’ve got no idea.
“What? Is that a joke?” I hear James's voice, drawing me back to the situation at hand and my gaze falls on my mom. She’s staring at me, anxiousness all over her face.
She speaks next, “It’s true. Gabriel and I have been seeing each other for a while and we have good feelings towards each other. We want to take it to the next level but we want you kids to know first. “ She doesn’t remove her eyes from me as she finishes her words.
They’ve been seeing each other for quite a while? How did I not know about that? How is this even possible?
I know they know each other because of James and I but all the times they’ve been in the same space, apart from this sudden change, they’ve kept it strictly formal so where did this come from and why?
“We thought you two would be happy to hear this since you’re friends and we know how much you mean to each other. “ Gabriel speaks now.
He turns to his son, “James. I know how lonely it’s been ever since your mom left…” Gabriel has been a single father since his wife divorced him and took their other kid, James's sister with her.
“I really haven’t felt it. “ James chuckles beside me. “I mean I’m happy for you of course but this is all so sudden. How did you manage to keep this from us for so long? When did you even meet? How long have you been together?”
“I know you have many questions and I’ll explain everything to you, I promise but we just wanted you two to know this first. Before we go ahead with the wedding, we want to know everyone is alright with this. “
I want to speak up that I’m not. There’s no way my mother is getting married to my best friend's father but then I look at the woman and see the happiness in her eyes yet the evident worry of how I’d react to this. I’ve never seen her this happy since dad passed away and am I going to take that from her just because of my own selfish reasons?
“Sure. As long as you guys are happy. “ James says but I find myself unable to speak.
“Elizabeth, are you…”
“Don’t worry about her. She’ll speak with me. “ I hear mom tell Gabriel and there’s a deafening silence in the room before she speaks again. “Okay, shall we move to the dining now? I’m sure everyone is famished. “
“Oh, I’m afraid we won’t be able to stay for the food. “ Gabriel says as he raises from his seat, causing the rest of us to do the same.
“Oh, why not?” Mom mumbles and I don’t miss the subtle way Gabriel tilts his head towards me. No doubt he can sense my discomfort and I wish I could hide it but I just want to yell at something right now.
“Oh. Right. “
“Yeah. We will be leaving you girls to discuss some more. “ He smiles, nodding for James to move.
I’m unable to respond or even look into my best friend’s eyes as he says, “Later gorgeous. “
Mom follows them to the door and leads them out of the house. I proceed to leave to my room and I’m only able to take a few steps before she stops me.
“Are you okay?” She questions and I turn to her. “You could have told me. “
She nods as she rubs her palms against each other. “I know but Gabriel wanted it to be a surprise. A good surprise. “
“When did you guys meet behind our backs?”
“It sounds awfully wrong when you put it that way, “ she laughs then stops when I don’t join her. She sighs, “Two months now. “
“You want to get married to a man you met two months ago?” I lift my brow and she nods. “I’ve known him for longer remember? I just got a chance to know him even better and he makes me so happy, Elizabeth. “ God no.
She moves closer to me and places her hands on my shoulders, lowering her head to meet my eyes. “Look, sweetie. I know this is a lot to take in. I truly understand how you feel but I’ve thought long and hard about this. This is what your father would want for me. He would want me to be happy and not drown in the sorrows that come with life after he left us. “ Sadness clouds her features and I realized I barely ask her about her feelings. Though she’s always smiling and always assuring me everything is fine; the loss must have weighed heavily on her and I should have reached out more. Have I been a bad daughter?
“I’m sorry. “ I whisper. “We didn’t speak much about how you felt. “
She shakes her hand and holds my face in her hands, her thumb slowly caressing the skin, providing me comfort. “You gave me all the happiness I needed, Elizabeth. That was enough. “ She says with a smile and I feel a tear slowly roll down my cheek.
“Oh come on now. You know I hate to see your tears. “ She coaxes as she pulls me into her arms and I wrap my hands tightly around her, just enough to not suffocate.
“You’ve been an amazing mom. “ I whisper to her and she nods as she pats my back gently.
After a few minutes of being in her embrace, she pulls back and strokes my cheek as she says, “This doesn’t mean I’m forgetting about Leo. He was my first love and perhaps my only true love. He will always have a special place in my heart and no one will be able to take that place. This is just me letting someone new into my life; someone who brings me peace and happiness. “ And that someone just happens to be James's father.
“When’s the wedding?”
“A week no more now. “
My eyes widen. “That fast?”
She chuckles. “Gabriel wants it as soon as possible. And I do too. “ It’s so strange hearing her call him Gabriel and not the usual Mr. Hall.
“And he wants us to get a new home. Where we can all create new memories. “ She beams happily and I scoff, “You like him that much?”
“I like him a lot, baby. “ Geez, my mother sounds like a teenager.
“Okay fine. Just because I truly want you to have all the happiness you can get but give me space to process this alright?”
She smiles and places a kiss on my cheek. “Sure, honey. I’ll be right here. “
“I love you, mom. “
“Love you the most, Elizabeth. “
I smile at her before I turn away and head into my room.
As soon as I shut the door, I let out the painful sob I have been holding in for a long.
Why’s this happening to me? Why Gabriel out of all the men in the world? Why the father of the guy I harbor secret feelings for?
I move to my bed and bury my face in the sheets as I let all the emotions that came with that revelation wash over me.
My phone vibrates, bringing my attention to it and I grab it to see a new text from James.
JAMES: Hey, you okay? You didn’t look quite good earlier. I wanted to stay to make sure but Dad said you needed private time with your mom. Is everything good?
Oh, I can’t describe in words the warmth I feel from reading those words from him.
And this boy, who makes me feel so many things from his words, his gaze, his touch, his presence, will be my stepbrother?
Will I ever be able to accept that?
I clutch my heart in my hand at how much it hurts as I turn my phone away without responding to the text.
~
“Hey, stepsis. “ I turn to see James hovering over me with a big smile on his face and I wince at that one word as I turn back to retrieve my books.
“You’re alive. I’m surprised since you didn’t return my texts, or calls, or even come to my place this morning. “ He says as he settles next to me.
“Sorry. I was in a hurry. “ A lie.
“In a hurry for what?”
“Nothing. “ I mumble as I move out of my seat and trust James to immediately follow.
He steps in front of me, halting my movement. “Lizzie. You do know I’m your best friend and I know when something is wrong right? You’ve never ditched me for school or ignored my texts unless I offended you which I don’t think I have yet. So tell me, what’s with the attitude?”
“I don’t have an attitude. I just got… busy last night. “ I lie again. “And this morning, yes. “
“This is about our parents, isn’t it? You have something against their decision?” How’s he so normal about this? Right. He isn’t the one who has feelings for his soon-to-be step-sibling.
“You don’t?” I raise my brow and he nods. “Why would I? It’s their decision and their happiness. “
“So you have no trouble about someone else taking your mom’s place?”
“Is that what this is about? You feel like he’s going to take your dad’s place?” He questions and I shake my head. “No. That’s not it. I just—“
“Then to answer your question, no. Your mom is a sweet person and I’m sure she’d never try to take someone else’s place. I’m glad Dad found someone like her and I’m even more glad it’s you. We get to be family. I mean we’ve always been but you know what I mean. “ I wish I didn’t. I wish you didn’t accept this so easily.
“Yeah. You’re right. “ I forcefully smile and he ruffles my smile. “Don’t be scared, gorgeous. Gabriel will treat her right. “ But the problem is my feelings for you, James. But you don’t even know that do you? That’s why I’m the only one who has trouble with this marriage. What do my feelings for you make me when you become my stepbrother?
“I know. Shut up. “ I tell him and he laughs. “There’s my girl. Alright. I’ll see you after class and don’t you dare ignore my texts again. “
“I won’t. “ I chuckle and he pulls my cheeks before he walks out of the class.
I sigh and look around the empty room before I make my way out of it too, only to be stopped by the door when a familiar face stands before me.
“Louis?”
“Hey. I finally found you. “ He laughs as he walks in, making me step back.
“I– what the hell are you doing here?”
“I enrolled here. “ he shrugs and my eyes widen. “What? You did? Why didn’t you tell me that all the times we spoke?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. “ He chuckles. “Plus I needed to be sure about my decision. “ He lowers his voice at the end.
“What?”
“Let’s just say you’re part of the many reasons I’m here. I find you very interesting Elizabeth. “
Oh.
“Louis. I–“
He cuts me off. “I know I know. You’re not available right now but I plan to make you. As I said, I find you very interesting and I always go after everything I find interesting. I’m gonna bother you a lot Lizzie and you won’t have a choice. “ He raises his hand to my head and brushes my hair with it twice.
He lowers his hand, winks then turn to walk away while I stand there dumbfounded, trying to process his words.
I’ve been approached by my own fair number of guys but I’ve never had one speak to me so… straightforwardly.
It’d be a lie to say my heart didn’t flutter a tiny bit.
ELIZABETH.~WEDDING DAY~“You look really beautiful today. “ I tell Mom as I stand behind her and meet her eyes in the mirror. She’s truly looking so elegant in her blue wedding gown. Mom didn’t want it white for a reason she refused to let me know but she doesn’t look any less beautiful in this. She smiles. “Thanks, my love. You’re looking sweet yourself. “ She comments and I look down at the short flowy white gown I have on. It’s sleeveless which leaves my torso and shoulders on display. I smile and gently place my hands on her shoulders. I give the skin a soft squeeze as I ask her in a gentle tone, “Are you happy mother?”She drops her hand over mine and rubs it. “I am. Very happy, Elizabeth. “ And I know she means that. “And it makes me, even more, happier to know that. “ I say and she nods gently. She lets go of my hand and I remove my hands from her shoulders. “You’re comfortable yeah? No negative feelings?” She raises a brow and I’m quick to nod. “None. ““Good. I made sure
ELIZABETH. “Wow. This is looking huger than when I came. “ Mom says immediately we walk through the front door of our new home, each with our luggage in hand. “I helped pick this out. “ James whispers to me with a smile, obviously proud of what he’s done. “You won’t tell me what good job I’ve done?” He frowns when I don’t answer and I shake my head as I drag my luggage forward. The house is quite big. Bigger than our previous home and I can tell a considerable amount of money must have gone into this. “I’m sure you kids must be tired. You should retire to bed. “ Mom announces. She’s still in her after-party white feathery gown and she hasn’t stopped glowing; I guess that’s what being genuinely happy does to you. “Goodnight. “ I mutter before I start to drag my luggage up the stairs. “I’ll take this one. “ James appears out of nowhere, calling dibs on the right room and I look to my left before I return my gaze to him. “I got here first. “ “I said it first. “ “You can be so
ELIZABETH. “Hey. “ It’s James happy voice and I turn to him with a fake smile. “Hey. You have someone over?”He nods and walks into the kitchen with his hands behind him. “Yeah. I hope you have no problem with that?”I shouldn’t right? That doesn’t stop me from teasing him though. “I thought you’d want to get used to the house before you start bringing your flings in. “ I can’t tell if I really meant it as a tease.“Is that jealousy I hear?” He taunts me and I glare at him, earning a laugh. Then he says, “It’s just us for the day, and thought I could use myself a bit of fun. “ You don’t find staying around me for long fun then?“Right. “ I smile. “Her again. You must be having quite the fun with her. “ I nod my head towards the direction of the living room where I’m sure the girl is waiting for him and he turns in the same direction before meeting my eyes, “Better than I thought. ““You must really like her. “ I don’t know why I’m still talking. “You brought her to the wedding. Now
ELIZABETH. I scurry off the floor and make my way to the bathroom. Shame and guilt fill me as I lean against the tiled wall with my eyes shut. I can’t believe I just did that. Masturbate while eavesdropping on their private moment. “That was so low of you. “ I mutter under my breath as I get rid of the clothes I have on, my panties going first; feeling too disgusted in them. I turn on the shower and step under the cold water, rubbing and scrubbing my body in hopes of stopping the shame that crawls my skin. After spending minutes intensely washing my skin, I finally take a proper bath and drop my clothes in the sink just next to the exit before I walk back into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. “I feel like I can finally breathe again. “ I mutter as I walk to my closet to get fresh clothes. After getting dressed, I grab my phone and plug in my headphones to drown out any conversations I could potentially hear. As I lay there, gently rocking my head to the soft beats of
ELIZABETH.It’s been a long, tortuous week.A week filled with torment, awkwardness, and only a bit of awesomeness.We’re starting to open up to each other in the house. I can now stay in the room with Gabriel for more than ten minutes before having to feel like my seat is on fire and we communicate better. No one is happier about this improvement other than my mother. She seems to think I dislike Gabriel–if only she knows the truth about why I behave the way I do.And James. James tortured me on nights when there’ll be those familiar noises coming from his room and I start to wonder why they had to get a place with those thin walls. He’s being however quite sneaky about it. I remain clueless about what he does until I hear those sounds, and I wonder why he’s being so sly about it. James is never the type to sneak a girl in, and I’m pretty sure his dad knows all about his adventures.“Hey. “Louis’s voice takes me out of my thoughts and back into reality, and I smile as I greet him. “H
ELIZABETH. I stand in front of the bathroom's small mirror with my toothbrush in hand and I groan at how puffy my eyes are and the trail of dried tears on my cheeks. I couldn’t stop my tears last night and I hated that so much. I hated how pathetic I felt. How pathetic he made me feel. I’ve always hated fighting with James but this is so much different. I hate how bad I feel about it too. I sigh and apply the paste on my brush, one hand harshly rubbing on my cheeks to wipe off the dried tears, until I’m afraid I might leave a scar while I use the other hand to brush. ~After calming myself with the hot water and taking longer in the bathroom than necessary, I step back into my room with a small towel wrapped around my body. I move to my closet and open it to take out my school uniform when my phone vibrates on my bed. With the school uniform in hand, I turn to retrieve it and Louis's text is staring back at me. There’s more than one and I slowly scroll to reveal all. LOUIS: Did
ELIZABETH.His lips stay against mine for a second and just as he opens his mouth, I press my hands to his chest to stop him and he moves back with a dazed expression on his face.His hooded eyes are staring right into mine and I feel my panties dampen between my thighs when his breath comes out in short pants.I move my hand from his chest to his face and trace a finger over his bottom lip. It feels soft against my fingertips, and I want to bite and suck on it until it’s bruised."Lizzie. " James calls my name as he moves one hand over the one I have on his face. He guides my finger from his lip to his mouth and a gasp falls from my mouth at the feel of his warm tongue against the skin as he sucks on my middle finger."Fuck." I mutter and James smirks before he lets my finger slips from his mouth. He doesn’t move, and he doesn’t do anything else as he waits for me to make my next move and the tension between us can cut through a wood as we breathe in a rhythm.God. I can’t hold on any
ELIZABETH.James’s eyes are waiting for a response to his words, but I don’t trust myself to have one. Even after he just confessed to wanting to kiss me again. Words that I never thought I’d be hearing for him and ones that make my heart leap with glee."I—" I begin and he nods for me to continue. "Hmm." I pause when James pushes his head to the side, his nose scratching against the crook of my neck."James," I grab his shoulders as he presses his lips to my neck, sniffling and gnawing on the skin. Fuck."I’m all ears, Elizabeth." He whispers into my ear before he pulls back to meet my eyes. But he isn’t ending there. He bends his leg, pressing his knee against the bed, which gives him easier access to my lower body, and I let out a pleasured sigh when he raises my shirt a bit and traces his finger across my stomach."Why?" I find myself asking him and his gaze moves to where he’s touching, not meeting my eyes as he asks. "Why what?""Why did you say that? You want to know what I tas