ELIZABETH.
~WEDDING DAY~
“You look really beautiful today. “ I tell Mom as I stand behind her and meet her eyes in the mirror. She’s truly looking so elegant in her blue wedding gown. Mom didn’t want it white for a reason she refused to let me know but she doesn’t look any less beautiful in this.
She smiles. “Thanks, my love. You’re looking sweet yourself. “ She comments and I look down at the short flowy white gown I have on. It’s sleeveless which leaves my torso and shoulders on display.
I smile and gently place my hands on her shoulders. I give the skin a soft squeeze as I ask her in a gentle tone, “Are you happy mother?”
She drops her hand over mine and rubs it. “I am. Very happy, Elizabeth. “ And I know she means that.
“And it makes me, even more, happier to know that. “ I say and she nods gently. She lets go of my hand and I remove my hands from her shoulders.
“You’re comfortable yeah? No negative feelings?” She raises a brow and I’m quick to nod. “None. “
“Good. I made sure Gabriel only invited important ones so we call all be comfortable. Not too much crowd. “ She explains to me for the second time today and I chuckle, “I know that Mom, you told me already. “
She laughs softly then lowers her head and I catch her action through the big mirror; she’s rubbing her finger. Her ring finger in particular. Dad’s ring.
“Give it. I’ll hold onto it for you. “ I tell her and she raises her head. After an assuring smile from me, she removes the ring and lets me take it.
“Today is all about you and Gabriel. A new start. No bad thoughts, okay?” I say sternly and she smiles. “I’m so lucky to have you as a daughter. “
“That you are. “ We both laugh.
“Alright. I’ll see you in the hall. Don’t get too nervous. I’ll be with you the entire time. “ I promise and place a small kiss on her cheek before I exit the room.
When I enter the hall again, James is speaking to some man who looks about the same age as Gabriel. Standing so far, in his neatly done suit that does justice to his body proportions, a pretty smile on his face, and his hands tucked in his pockets– I feel my heart fluttering so loudly. Does he have to look this good?
Unfortunately for me, he catches my gaze and he sends me a smile with a wave, one I’m too stoic to return. I watch as he excuses himself and begins to walk toward me and I feel my heart beat faster with each step he takes.
“Hey you, “ He greets me as he stops before me. “What’s that?” He nods to the ring and the tiny necklace I have in hand.
“Um… nothing. “ My voice comes out too small and I curse myself for it. I clear my throat and speak again, “Nothing important. “
“Need my help with it?” He asks and before I can respond, he snatches the materials from me.
He turns me away from him and I feel myself still as he brushes my hair to one side, his finger grazing against my neck. I feel shivers run down my spine and the pace at which my heart beats at his presence doesn’t slow as he locks the necklace with the ring around my neck.
“There. “ He arranges my hair to its position and twirls me back to his gaze.
“You look really pretty. “ He compliments with a smile, doing absolutely nothing to help my situation and everything to worsen it.
You can’t keep this on Elizabeth.
I find the courage to straighten my back and clear my throat. “That I do. Thank you. “
“Bet you’ll look even prettier in my arms. “
“Shut up. “ James laughs at my response to his silly joke and I’m about to tease his look in the suit when someone suddenly calls his name. We both turn at the same time and my heart drops when I see a new girl approaching him.
“Who’s that?” I whisper to him.
“Janet. The girl I told you about. She wanted to come. “ Right. The girl he spoke about yesterday. She’s just as he described. Maybe even better with her curly ginger hair and gorgeous face. She’s tall as well; that’s definitely a plus.
I step to the side as she stops before him and I watch them exchange words. He brought someone. A girl. And as she laughs and flirts with him; I wish I had done the same.
‘You have no one to bring. ‘ Another harsh reality of mine.
~
The wedding started just minutes ago and I already can’t wait to get out of here.
Not because I’m not happy for Mom. No, not that. But because James is right by my side and I can’t even pretend to ignore Janet’s somewhat loud whispers and giggles.
It’s a wedding. I don’t get what’s so funny. I get that’s what being with James does to a girl.
I shake my head and tell myself I just have to make it through the next round. Straightening against my seat, I put on a smile as my mom's gaze falls on me before she says her vows.
They exchange rings then finally kiss and the audience, that’s no more than twenty people puts their hands together for the new couple. I join in and after a few more minutes, I finally stand up.
“Where are you going?” James whispers and I nod to the exit. “Need some air. Won’t take long. “I assure him with a small smile then grab my small purse and exit the hall.
I take in breaths of the fresh air and let it hit my lungs, which manages to calm my nerves. My phone dings in the purse just as I take a seat on the leveled floor and I fish it out.
It’s a text from Louis which reminds me that I didn’t respond to his last text.
LOUIS: That was funny.
LOUIS: Still busy with the event?
I tuck my hair behind my ear as I send a reply.
ME: The wedding is over now.
His response comes in almost instantly.
LOUIS: You didn’t tell me it’s a wedding! I love weddings. Whose was it?
I chuckle.
ME: Sorry. Just an important person.
LOUIS: You really are a secretive person, aren’t you? Mind if I give you a call? I want to see you in your dress.
I take a peek back at the hall, where hushed voices are coming from, debating whether it’d be a good call to accept his request. I don’t get to decide before my phone starts to ring and it’s a FaceTime request from Louis.
“This boy, “ I murmur with a sigh as I accept his call. What I didn’t expect is for his first reaction to be, “Wow. “
“What. “ I laugh awkwardly as I pull at the edge of my head and Louis just shakes his head. “You are beautiful. Insanely beautiful. Dangerously gorgeous. Christ, you’re freaking stunning Elizabeth. “
“You can’t even see the whole dress. You’re just trying to flatter me. “
“I’m doing no such thing. I’m dead serious. You look freaking beautiful. I mean you do all the time but you look extra beautiful right now. I don’t have to see the whole dress to know that. “
“Okay fine fine. Thank you. For your compliments. Once again. “ I jokingly roll my eyes and he nods with a smile. “It’s my pleasure lady. “
I shake my head but I can’t help the laugh that sips through. Louis and I have been speaking ever since he got to my school. He was right when he said he’d bother me. He truly did. He’d speak to me every time, even on those I try to ignore him. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever encountered. Persisting and is quite brave with it too, but he makes sure he doesn’t go over his boundaries, which makes him even more likable. Any girl would want a guy like that. The fact that he’s gorgeous is a plus but unfortunately, I’m not any girl. I’m a girl who already wants someone else.
“That’s a beautiful necklace. “ Louis brings me out of my thoughts and my hand immediately goes to the said jewelry, my finger twirling around the ring.
“It is. Thank you. “ I smile.
We speak further on a lot of things. He told me the eventful day he’s had and I say one or two things. As the call goes on, I find myself more relaxed.
“I wish I was there. “ Louis says in a small voice and I don’t get to respond before I hear James's voice behind me.
“Lizzie?”
“Hey. I’ll text you. Need to go. “ I’m quick to end the call and I move to my feet just as James appears.
He leans against the wall with a smirk. “Who was that?”
“Who was what?” I try to play dumb but of course, it doesn’t work on him.
“The one you were on the phone with. Don’t lie. I caught a glimpse. “
“Just a friend. “ I shrug and he hums. “You know you’ve been very sneaky these days Elizabeth. “
“I’m not. “ I say as I move to his front. “Why are you here? Where’s your girl?” I attempt to distract him from his inquiries and I wish I didn’t sound so bitter saying that last part.
“Janet? She left. Had somewhere to be. “
“You must like her if you invited her here. “ I don’t meet his eyes as I say those words.
“Eh. She’s surprisingly more fun than I thought she’d be. I enjoy her company. “ If only you know how each of those words you just uttered makes me feel.
“Clearly. “ I whisper when James suddenly throws his hand around me, making me stagger a bit.
“James!” I scold and he laughs. “Sorry. So it’s official now. You’re my sister. “ That title breaks my heart.
“Don’t call me that. “ I tell him and he frowns as he slowly removes his hand.
“Why not?” You’re truly oblivious to everything, aren’t you?
“Just don’t think I’d get used to it. “ I lie and he finally says something that calms my heart. “Don’t think I’d either. I prefer Lizzie. My Lizzie. “ Please stop.
I’m unable to come up with anything else and there’s silence as I just stare into his gorgeous eyes. James stands still with a smile and I can no longer control myself as I feel my body moves forward, closer to him.
“Oh and by the way… “ He breaks the quiet, stopping me from going through my stupid action. “Gabriel said we’ll be leaving for our new home tonight. “
Right. How could I forget the living together part? Normally, I see James so often. Sometimes even more than I see my mother and I’ve loved it that way but it’s completely different from being in the same house with him. Living together. Sleeping and waking up to each other's presence every day. As step-siblings.
I hate this. I hate this so freaking much no matter how much I tell myself I’m happy for my mom. I’ll never stop hating this.
“Come on. Let’s get in. It’s getting windy here. “ I watch as he removes his jacket and covers me with it. “To feel warmer. “ He smiles as he brushes his hands over my shoulders.
I don’t get to have this anymore. Not in the way I want.
I hate it all.
ELIZABETH. “Wow. This is looking huger than when I came. “ Mom says immediately we walk through the front door of our new home, each with our luggage in hand. “I helped pick this out. “ James whispers to me with a smile, obviously proud of what he’s done. “You won’t tell me what good job I’ve done?” He frowns when I don’t answer and I shake my head as I drag my luggage forward. The house is quite big. Bigger than our previous home and I can tell a considerable amount of money must have gone into this. “I’m sure you kids must be tired. You should retire to bed. “ Mom announces. She’s still in her after-party white feathery gown and she hasn’t stopped glowing; I guess that’s what being genuinely happy does to you. “Goodnight. “ I mutter before I start to drag my luggage up the stairs. “I’ll take this one. “ James appears out of nowhere, calling dibs on the right room and I look to my left before I return my gaze to him. “I got here first. “ “I said it first. “ “You can be so
ELIZABETH. “Hey. “ It’s James happy voice and I turn to him with a fake smile. “Hey. You have someone over?”He nods and walks into the kitchen with his hands behind him. “Yeah. I hope you have no problem with that?”I shouldn’t right? That doesn’t stop me from teasing him though. “I thought you’d want to get used to the house before you start bringing your flings in. “ I can’t tell if I really meant it as a tease.“Is that jealousy I hear?” He taunts me and I glare at him, earning a laugh. Then he says, “It’s just us for the day, and thought I could use myself a bit of fun. “ You don’t find staying around me for long fun then?“Right. “ I smile. “Her again. You must be having quite the fun with her. “ I nod my head towards the direction of the living room where I’m sure the girl is waiting for him and he turns in the same direction before meeting my eyes, “Better than I thought. ““You must really like her. “ I don’t know why I’m still talking. “You brought her to the wedding. Now
ELIZABETH. I scurry off the floor and make my way to the bathroom. Shame and guilt fill me as I lean against the tiled wall with my eyes shut. I can’t believe I just did that. Masturbate while eavesdropping on their private moment. “That was so low of you. “ I mutter under my breath as I get rid of the clothes I have on, my panties going first; feeling too disgusted in them. I turn on the shower and step under the cold water, rubbing and scrubbing my body in hopes of stopping the shame that crawls my skin. After spending minutes intensely washing my skin, I finally take a proper bath and drop my clothes in the sink just next to the exit before I walk back into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. “I feel like I can finally breathe again. “ I mutter as I walk to my closet to get fresh clothes. After getting dressed, I grab my phone and plug in my headphones to drown out any conversations I could potentially hear. As I lay there, gently rocking my head to the soft beats of
ELIZABETH.It’s been a long, tortuous week.A week filled with torment, awkwardness, and only a bit of awesomeness.We’re starting to open up to each other in the house. I can now stay in the room with Gabriel for more than ten minutes before having to feel like my seat is on fire and we communicate better. No one is happier about this improvement other than my mother. She seems to think I dislike Gabriel–if only she knows the truth about why I behave the way I do.And James. James tortured me on nights when there’ll be those familiar noises coming from his room and I start to wonder why they had to get a place with those thin walls. He’s being however quite sneaky about it. I remain clueless about what he does until I hear those sounds, and I wonder why he’s being so sly about it. James is never the type to sneak a girl in, and I’m pretty sure his dad knows all about his adventures.“Hey. “Louis’s voice takes me out of my thoughts and back into reality, and I smile as I greet him. “H
ELIZABETH. I stand in front of the bathroom's small mirror with my toothbrush in hand and I groan at how puffy my eyes are and the trail of dried tears on my cheeks. I couldn’t stop my tears last night and I hated that so much. I hated how pathetic I felt. How pathetic he made me feel. I’ve always hated fighting with James but this is so much different. I hate how bad I feel about it too. I sigh and apply the paste on my brush, one hand harshly rubbing on my cheeks to wipe off the dried tears, until I’m afraid I might leave a scar while I use the other hand to brush. ~After calming myself with the hot water and taking longer in the bathroom than necessary, I step back into my room with a small towel wrapped around my body. I move to my closet and open it to take out my school uniform when my phone vibrates on my bed. With the school uniform in hand, I turn to retrieve it and Louis's text is staring back at me. There’s more than one and I slowly scroll to reveal all. LOUIS: Did
ELIZABETH.His lips stay against mine for a second and just as he opens his mouth, I press my hands to his chest to stop him and he moves back with a dazed expression on his face.His hooded eyes are staring right into mine and I feel my panties dampen between my thighs when his breath comes out in short pants.I move my hand from his chest to his face and trace a finger over his bottom lip. It feels soft against my fingertips, and I want to bite and suck on it until it’s bruised."Lizzie. " James calls my name as he moves one hand over the one I have on his face. He guides my finger from his lip to his mouth and a gasp falls from my mouth at the feel of his warm tongue against the skin as he sucks on my middle finger."Fuck." I mutter and James smirks before he lets my finger slips from his mouth. He doesn’t move, and he doesn’t do anything else as he waits for me to make my next move and the tension between us can cut through a wood as we breathe in a rhythm.God. I can’t hold on any
ELIZABETH.James’s eyes are waiting for a response to his words, but I don’t trust myself to have one. Even after he just confessed to wanting to kiss me again. Words that I never thought I’d be hearing for him and ones that make my heart leap with glee."I—" I begin and he nods for me to continue. "Hmm." I pause when James pushes his head to the side, his nose scratching against the crook of my neck."James," I grab his shoulders as he presses his lips to my neck, sniffling and gnawing on the skin. Fuck."I’m all ears, Elizabeth." He whispers into my ear before he pulls back to meet my eyes. But he isn’t ending there. He bends his leg, pressing his knee against the bed, which gives him easier access to my lower body, and I let out a pleasured sigh when he raises my shirt a bit and traces his finger across my stomach."Why?" I find myself asking him and his gaze moves to where he’s touching, not meeting my eyes as he asks. "Why what?""Why did you say that? You want to know what I tas
ELIZABETH.I look down at the space between us with reddened cheeks after James’ question, and I shake my eyes as I meet his eyes. "No."He smiles, burying a hand in my hand while the other goes around my lower back. "Well, you’re about to touch one."He moves his head forward, snatching my lips in his and I let out a groan in his mouth as I swipe my tongue over his plump lips, pulling the upper one between my teeth and sucking for a good few seconds before I slide my tongue in his mouth.James keeps my head tilted for easier access to my mouth and soon his mouth disappears down my neck. I shut my eyes and let out a low moan as he decorates my hot neck with kisses down to my throat. He presses a kiss there and my hands move to his shoulder. After a quick kiss to my chin, he takes my mouth again.He breaks away from the kiss just as I start to run out of breath, and there’s an unfamiliar look in his eyes as he stares down. I understand the slight gesture and move to my feet before him.