GOING BACK HOME

MELANIE

Brandon paces to and fro in our bedroom. I can see him fuming, feel the heat from his rage as he looks at me with disdain.

My toes curl on top of the scale.

We’ve had this routine for months now.

He feeds me grass like I’m livestock, forces me to run at early and odd hours of the morning with his car tailing me, then we check the scales at the end of the month.

“I cannot believe this shit,” he rubs his chin over and over.

“You didn’t only not drop a single digit, you also increased! By five!”

Tears rush down my eyes. I try so hard to blink them away, but they wouldn’t go.

“I’m sorry.” I blurt out.

Deep down, I’m not sure why I’m sorry.

Is it for gaining weight? Is it for not being able to lose it? Is it for not being the sexy girl I was when he married me? For having our daughter?

All of these are grave offenses I have committed.

“Look at you! You’re like a fucking pig!”

I swallow hard.

“What?”

He glares at me.

“You heard me right. It’s been five, five fucking years since Pen was born and you’ve still not managed to lose a single pound!”

“But I…”

“Don’t.” He holds his right hand up, silencing me.

“Don’t give me any of that POCS bullshit.”

I force the lump in my throat down to my stomach.

PMOS.

It’s PMOS. But he doesn’t care enough to know that.

“If I had known you'd be this fat, I'd have never gotten you pregnant with that little bitch.”

My eyes widen, and I whip my head up to look at him.

Bitch.

Did he just call our daughter a bitch?

“I can’t do this. I can’t even look at you right now.” I step down from the scale and turn my back to him, but he grabs me by my right hand and flings me towards the bed.

I fall against the wooden board, fighting to prop myself up with my elbows.

“You’ve got guts now, huh? Thinking you can talk to me?”

The hook of his belt whips against my back, and I scream out in pain. I look up to find him coming down at me.

I have to dodge. I have to make it out of here.

Enough is enough.

I swerve, and the force he uses to attack me sends him face down to the ground. I snatch his wallet from the bedside drawer and make a beeline for the door, taking the key and locking him in from the outside.

I have approximately fifteen minutes before my darling husband can break down our bedroom door, drag me across the floor, and beat me to a pulp.

I need to get my daughter and escape before then.

The keys drop from my wobbling fingers as I run across the corridor to Penelope’s room.

My heart almost leaps out from my chest when I see her on her little pink desk, coloring in her coloring book, with her noise cancelling headphones on.

Brandon always makes sure to cover her ears and keep her busy before dealing with me, to mask the monster he is.

She will never know, but I do, and that’s enough.

I force a bright smile, ignoring the stinging at my back from the hook of Brandon’s belt.

“Hey, sweetie,” I hurry to her, crouching on the ground beside her.

Her blue eyes sparkle with childlike curiousity—and confusion—as she takes her headphones off and looks at me.

“Mummy, why are you sweating so much?”

I swallow hard.

“Listen, baby, you and I are going to go on a little vacation to see grandma. Would you like that?”

Penelope squints her brows.

“But daddy said he’s going to read me a story. Would daddy be coming too?”

I fucking hope not.

“No, daddy can’t come. He’s…busy.”

“But daddy…”

“Jesus Christ, Pen! Listen to me for once, would you?”

She pouts, visibly mad. I've screamed at her, but I don’t have a choice. Why…why can’t she see and understand mummy doesn’t have a choice?

“Go get your things from the bathroom and meet me here, okay?”

I have a few clothes in the guestroom, and some essentials I can pack. I started moving to the guest room slowly after I found out about Brandon’s fifth whore. His used condoms were unflushed in our toilet.

I knew, there and then, that if I didn’t do something, I would die of an STD before his beatings and starvation kill me.

When I’m back in Penelope's room, she has all her essentials packed in a little pink box, her favorite.

I press a kiss on her forehead before putting her headphones over her ears. Brandon must be screaming at the top of his lungs now, and I wouldn’t want her to hear any of it.

I take her right hand and drag her across the hallway. She takes a quick glance at our bedroom door, but I walk even faster.

My heart is banging against the walls of my chest, air is stuck in my lungs, unwilling to move until we’re successfully out of the door.

I stand on the front porch and look up at our bedroom window to find Brandon screaming.

“You get back here you little bitch! I’ll kill you! I swear I’ll kill you and your little shit!”

“Mummy, is daddy okay?”

Fuck. Pen’s seen him.

I turn her head away and smile.

“Yes, he’s just sad to see us go, but he’ll come join us soon, okay?”

She’s not convinced in the slightest, but that will have to do for now.

I flip my middle finger up, high up for him to see.

I’m free. Free from him. I might have spent six years waiting, hoping things will be different some day, but not anymore.

I’m done sitting around and letting life happen to me. I’m going…home.

Half the money I took from his wallet is spent on a cab to the farthest train station, the other half is spent on a train ticket back to Keaton.

I have no money of my own. Brandon never let me open a bank account and said we could have a joint one.

He never let me do anything that didn’t involve him so all I had was a few hundred I snatched from the kitchen cabinet.

I haven’t called my mother to let her know I’m coming home. To be honest, there was very little time to process everything.

Let’s hope she answers.

Pen hasn’t said a single word to me all night, despite the fact that she’s seated on my lap.

At least she hasn’t thrown a huge fit. I guess I can be grateful for that.

I tuck her curly brown hair to the back of her ear and lean into her.

“Are you alright, sweetie?”

“Leave me alone.”

Ouch. Okay.

“Are you happy you’re gonna see grandma?”

She scoffs.

“I don’t even know her. How can I be happy when daddy’s not here?”

This isn’t going to be easy. She’s not going to make it easy. But one day, she’ll understand.

Four hours pass before we arrive at Keaton. It’s midnight already. We’re seated on a long bench with three other people when I make the call to my mother.

It rings for a while, before she answers.

My heart physically stops for a split second.

“Melanie?”

She sounds shocked to get a call from me. Not that I’ll blame her, we’ve never had the best mother-daughter relationship, not since dad died. It only got worse after she married billionaire mogul, Lucas Alistair.

“Uhmm, hi mum.”

She doesn’t respond.

“The thing is, I’m in Keaton right now, I’m at the train station—“

“Oh.”

“I was hoping you could come pick me up. I don’t…” I clear my throat. “I don’t have any money on me right now, so…” a nervous laugh rips out of me.

“Yeah, that’s why I called.”

“I see. Well, I can’t be of much help to you right now. I’m not in the country at the moment. Lucas and I are on a wellness retreat, in Scotland, for six months.”

Every ounce of hope I have is smashed against the wall.

Of course she won’t be in the country!

How could I forget that my darling mother became something I could never recognize?

“But, you can call Val.”

Val.

My breath hitches at the back of my throat, goosebumps racing to the surface of my skin.

I haven’t heard that name or seen him in years, not since my wedding.

Is he…still in Keaton?

“Uhmm, mum. Is there anyone else I can call?”

She scoffs and I can almost see her roll her eyes.

“You need to get over this silly feud you have with the Alistair boys, they are your brothers. It’s been six years, Melanie. You’re a mother now, you should be more mature,”

My fingers tighten around my phone.

She has no fucking idea what she’s talking about.

A feud?

A feud is little, so little compared to what I felt for them six years ago, what they made me feel, what I had to escape from.

“Besides, Val is the only one who can help you right now. I’ll send his number to you. You can call, or you can walk from the train station all the way to the house—if you still remember where it is—with your daughter in your arms. I should be in bed with my husband right now, goodnight, Melanie.”

“Mum…”

She hangs up.

I look down at Penelope who’s asleep on my thighs. So little, so exhausted. She won’t survive a walk that long.

I need to put my pride aside and make the phone call, for her sake.

Besides, it’s been years, right?

It was just a silly childhood crush. I’m a woman who’s been through hell and high water, and it’ll take more than their good looks and the body of gods to sway me.

Besides, I’m ME now. Brandon could barely stand the sight of me. There’s no way the all powerful Alistairs would ever cast me a second glance.

Right?

With a long, steady breath, I dial the number in my mum’s text message.

“Valentin, it’s me, Melanie. I need your help.”