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Elena's POV

The first time I saw Cassian, five years ago, he was lying under a tree at the edge of the forest.

That tall body was curled up in the shade.

My father and I were coming back from town that day.

The car broke down partway, so we had to walk to the estate along the side road.

I smelled blood, looked into the grass, and found him.

His clothes were nearly soaked through with it.

At first my father refused to take him home.

Our family had been in decline for years.

After my mother died there were only the two of us.

We couldn't even afford to keep servants at the estate.

If this vampire brought trouble with him, we had no way to handle it.

Cassian couldn't even stand back then.

But I begged my father until he brought him back.

When he woke, he remembered his name and nothing else.

I smiled and reassured him, "It's all right. You can stay at our house and heal.

"Once you're better, you can take your time remembering."

That stay lasted five years.

In the beginning Cassian was wary of everyone.

Apart from changing his dressings, he barely let me near him.

Then, little by little, he began to talk with me after I finished.

One day he even told me that with me beside him the wounds hurt less, that he felt calm, that he felt safe.

That was the first time he smiled at me.

Once he could get out of bed, he started helping my father with the estate, which had gone years without repair.

The roof leaked, and he climbed up and fixed it.

The kitchen cabinet door broke, and he nailed it back together.

He would be working in the yard, and I would stand beside him complaining that I was tired and asking him to give me a piggyback ride home.

Cassian would call me spoiled and then crouch down anyway.

My father caught us at it once and snapped, "His wounds have only just healed. Can't you walk on your own?"

I laughed against Cassian's back.

Cassian said in my defense, "It's fine. I'm better now."

It never once occurred to me then that one day his memory would come back, and he would shut me out this coldly.

He was the one who said he liked me first, and the one who proposed.

We couldn't afford anything valuable.

Just a plain ring we picked out in a little shop, and an ordinary, happy life together.

I wore it for five full years.

It was still on my hand.

I looked down at the ring.

Cassian followed my eyes, and for an instant he went still.

I seized on that flash of hope.

"Do you remember saying you'd spend your whole life with me?"

I lowered my head trying to catch his eyes, and he kept avoiding mine.

"Have you forgotten all of it?"

I could never have imagined being this desperate and this graceless in front of the person who had loved me so much.

He lowered his eyes for a moment. "No."

"Then why are you still divorcing me?"

My voice had started to shake.

Cassian was silent for a few seconds.

"I didn't know who I was then. That's why I made such a careless promise to you.

"If I caused you to misunderstand, I can apologize."

A misunderstanding...

Five years of loving each other, three miscarriages I went through for him, and all of it was a misunderstanding?

A bitter smile pulled at my mouth and I cut him off.

"You got your memory back. You didn't turn into a different person. I still love you, Cassian. You love me too, don't you?"

The room went quiet.

I stared at him, my eyes pleading, and waited a long time.

Cassian finally looked away.

"Elena, I know this is hard for you."

My heart ached sharply.

He had dodged the question. He hadn't answered it.

All those promises full of love were still echoing in my ears, and the person in front of me felt like a stranger.

"Cassian, I don't care who you are.

"Whether you're the prince's heir or you have nothing at all, the one I love has always been you."

His fingers stiffened inside my palm.

"We can work something out together.

"If the betrothal matters that much, I'll go with you to explain. We can face it together."

Cassian pulled his hand back.

My voice cut off.

My palm was suddenly empty.

He looked at me, and there was a hesitation in his eyes that I knew.

But the look I clung to was gone in a breath, replaced by a calm indifference that put ice down my spine.

"Don't do this. No matter how much you plead, I can't go back to what we were."

The tears finally came.

"What am I doing?"

Cassian didn't answer.

I wiped my face.

"I just want to keep living with my husband.

"Is that not allowed either?"

His frown deepened.

I held on anyway, wanting so badly for him to pull me in and comfort me the way he used to, and tell me none of it was true.

All I ever had to do was cry and he would soften.

Even in a fight, the moment my eyes went red he would be the one to give in.

This time he stayed where he was.

He didn't come any closer.

After a long silence, he said, "In a few days I'll have a gift of thanks sent to your house."

I stared at him.

"You're not coming home with me?"

"No."

"My father is still waiting for you."

"Thank him for me."

He was so polite about it.

As if five years of daily life could be closed out with a polite thank-you and a gift, wiped clean, gone without a trace.

My chest ached, my eyes stung, and I couldn't get a single accusation out.

Cassian pressed his lips together.

"Elena, let's get divorced."

I looked at him and still would not agree.

"Cassian, I'm going to wait until you've thought it through."

He said nothing.

"Your memory only just came back. I'll give you time."

I was crying and I made myself smile.

"When you've made up your mind, we'll talk again."

I gathered the bag of old clothes against my chest and turned and left, almost fleeing.

At the door I looked back at him once.

Cassian was still sitting on the bed.

He didn't call me back.

The door closed.

I walked a long way and never once heard footsteps behind me.