LOGINOne month after the night on the terraceDouro Valley Vineyard Festival miid-summerThe whole valley had turned into one big glowing party. Strings of fairy lights looped through the vines, music thumped from a little stage at the far end, tables loaded with food and glasses of wine that I could only stare at longingly. My sundress was the softest thing I owned thin white cotton that clung to every new curve and did exactly zero to hide the bump. Eight months now, round and heavy and impossible to miss. Tomás had clicked the silver collar around my throat before we left the house, kissed the spot just below it, and whispered, “Tonight the whole festival gets to look, baby girl. But only I get to touch.”We blended in at first. Just another couple slow-dancing near the edge of the crowd while some local band played old Portuguese songs. His hand rested low on my back, then slid around to cup the underside of the bump like it was the most natural thing in the world. T
A couple months after the ultrasound stripDouro Valley, early summerThe bump was no longer something I could pretend was small.It wasn’t “cute” anymore. It wasn’t something I could hide with the right angle or a loose dress. It was there round and heavy and impossible to ignore, like the truth had finally decided to show up in full daylight and refuse to leave.Seven months.Sometimes I’d just stand in front of the mirror and stare at it, hands resting under the curve, like I was trying to understand how my body had become this… whole different story.And Tomás?He looked at me like I was something unreal.Like I was art. Like I was trouble. Like I was both at the same time and he didn’t care which one won.Tonight was supposed to be simple.Just the terrace. The warm air. The soft quiet that comes right before the stars fully take over the sky. A bottle of that fake sparkling drink we’d been pretending was enough.I walked out barefoot, the stone still warm under my feet, dress th
Six weeks after those two pink lines showed upPorto, Portugal one rainy Friday nightThe bump was still pretty small, but you could definitely tell. Five months along and it rounded out the front of the black dress I’d picked on purpose super stretchy, neckline dipping low enough that the silver collar Tomás fastened around my throat before we left actually caught the light. To anyone else it probably just looked like some fancy necklace. To us it was the old green light: game on.We’d driven the hour and a half from the villa because the sleepy little Douro villages felt way too safe tonight. We wanted eyes on us. We wanted that fake little rush that still made everything spark even though nobody was hunting us anymore.The wine bar was one of those ancient stone places down by the river dim lights, jazz playing low in the background, couples squeezed around tiny tables. We grabbed a booth in the back corner, but not hidden away like we were hiding. Tomás ordered something fancy and
Four months after the firelight nightDouro Valley, early springI didn’t expect the bathroom floor to feel so cold.The tiles always are in the mornings, but today it felt sharper somehow, like every little sensation had turned the volume up. I was sitting on the edge of the tub with my feet tucked under me, staring at the small white test resting in my hand.Two pink lines.Not faint ones either.Clear. Bright. Impossible to misunderstand.Pregnant.For a long minute I just sat there blinking at it, like maybe if I looked away and looked back again the lines would vanish. My brain kept doing that weird thing where it tries to pretend reality isn’t real yet.Then I started laughing.Not because it was funny. It was more like the kind of laugh that slips out when your emotions don’t know which direction to go half excitement, half disbelief, a tiny bit of panic tangled in there too.We had talked about it before.Late nights after
Three years after the dumpDouro Valley, first night of autumnThe vines outside had gone that deep blood-red and gold you only get right before harvest. Inside the villa it smelled like woodsmoke and the fig tart I’d thrown together earlier nothing fancy, just buttery crust and whatever figs were left on the tree. Tomás had pulled out the 2018 we’d laid down the week we bought the place. Two glasses sat on the coffee table, catching the firelight like little rubies.We were tangled on the library couch, my head on his chest, legs hooked over his ,the turntable was doing its low, lazy jazz thing my gold band kept flashing every time I moved his was warm against my bare thigh where his palm rested.We had everything nowSafety,Quiet,Each other,But tonight something felt… different.He’d been watching me all evening with that half-lidded, dangerous stare the one that said the past wasn’t gone, it was just waiting for permission.I traced
Two years after the dumpDouro Valley, late AugustThe villa smelled of sun-baked stone, ripening figs from the garden, and the faint smoke of the outdoor oven where Tomás had slow-roasted lamb earlier. The terrace lights were off tonight only candles in tall glass hurricanes marching down the long stone table, flames dancing in the warm night breeze. A bottle of thirty-year tawny port sat open between two glasses, untouched so far.Tonight was the anniversary.Not the wedding (they’d never had one with witnesses or rings blessed by anyone but each other).Not the day they escaped Chicago.Not even the day the final headlines called the empire “utterly dismantled.”Tonight marked the exact date of the first kitchen touch two years since the moment his chest pressed against her back at the island, since the air crackled and the line was crossed forever.They had marked it privately every ye
Chapter 20 – The Mirror The motel lamp wouldn’t stop buzzing. It was this cheap yellow thing bolted to the wall, the kind that flickers even when you don’t touch it, like it’s tired of existing. The light kept jumping, shadows crawling up the ceiling and sliding back down again, like something
Black, Not dim, Not shadowed it was total darkness The warehouse lights died like someone reached up and flipped a switch on the entire world, like reality itself had decided it was done watching. One second there wa
The car wasn’t safe anymore.I knew it. I didn’t think itI knew it in my bones, like when you suddenly realize you’re about to throw up and it’s already too late.The headlights caught the next green sign on the highway.REST AREA – 2 MILES.The lette
.The highway just kept going.Like it didn’t care about us at all.An endless black strip under the tires, stretching forward forever, the headlights barely touching it, like we weren’t really on the road, just floating over it. I didn’t know where we were going.







