Her baby is dead

Amanda felt water all over her body the moment she woke from the nightmare,  or was it sweat? She couldn't say.

Then, she sighed, she was glad it was only a dream, a dream she could not translate, she was not used to having dreams, why was she dreaming all of a sudden?

But there was something significant about the dream she just had,  in the dream she was light, free and very strong. She tried to remember what made her feel that way, she hit her head, as if that would make her remember, she looked around her, she saw her husband, sleeping next to her, he was definitely restless, but why was she so light in the dream, that she could even run?  then she remembered, It was not so hard to note,  she wasn't pregnant in the dream, but she was being chased by someone she couldn't really remember, she tried to sit up on the bed and she felt all heavy,  looking down she sighed in a  dejected way.

She looked up at God, why would he allow things like this to happen to her, she has suffered enough, and she didn't deserve what she was going through.

What was her sin actually? That God will decide to punish her in such a manner?

She was dejected indeed, and really unhappy because the question she continued to ask herself over and over again have not been answered, she was supposed to have the answer to her question, but yet she, like every other person, does not have the answer to the question,   she was supposed to be happy and sharing the happy moments with her husband Dave, who still managed to sleep close to her,  but they are more like world's apart.

 She is pregnant but she couldn't tell who was responsible.

She is even ashamed to say it out loud. How can a grown up woman like her, claim she doesn't know who impregnated her, even a teenager would know, let alone an adult. It made her feel like a prostitute, 

It was a mystery pregnancy.

One may ask how can it be mysterious when you have a husband?

but the story have only begun.

Because even she also belives, that her husband Dave, was not telling her the truth.

Getting married to Dave was something Amanda didn't regret, because Dave was everything she could ever want, he was wonderful and he genuinely cares for her. Though at first she was using Dave as a substitute or a rebound,  since she couldn't reach the love of her life, the one person she could beat her chest and say she truely loves.

That one man, whom she and her only brother sent to prison few years ago. She knew she still felt something strong for Dave, especially since Dave was able to fight with his family just to be with her.

It is really funny how a family can just hate you without any reason, they would not want you as a member of their family, for all the wrong reasons.

But Dave, he fought for her, and ensured no harm came her way, she felt really loved and wanted but looking at him now, she knew she couldn't possible ask for that devotion to their marriage, Dave was shattered and obviously not happy, he would always stare at her with disdain and so much hate, but how could she even blame him? After all she had starved him sexually, she hadn't been a very understanding wife to him then out of the blues she became pregnant.

She could remember that after the first year of their marriage and she became pregnant, she was overjoyed. Dave was particularly very happy and made sure she didn't stress herself very much, he pampered her and treated her like a Queen, but all the happiness was shattered to dust when she was due and was sent to the labour room, she was there for hours, the baby refused to come out, she had never experienced such extreme pain before, she was so scared and worried, all her antenatal training couldn't be remembered at that point, she just wanted it all to be over, she wanted to be free from the pain, but it wasn't going away instead it became more Intense, then she was told she would be operated on, she wasn't especially happy about the turn of events, she was sad, she didn't want her first child to be born via a C-section but at that point,  she had no choice, she wanted it to be over. Consent form was signed by her husband and the process started.

"I am scared". She confessed, Dave was there with her, he was being really supportive, holding her hands, and trying to make her feel they could do it together.

"Very soon, it will be over, don't worry". He assured her, and he watched with tears in her eyes, as they cut her open, in a vertical way, and brought the baby out.

The Epidural injection taken could not allow her take note of anything, she was conscious, but she had tears in her eyes.

This is not how she had planned to have her first baby, or any of her babies for that matter, but since it has happened like this, what choice, does she have.

After 45minute or thereabouts in the operating room, Amanda opened her eyes, she could hear the cry of the baby.

"He is beautiful". Dave exclaimed, as he held the baby. She smiled and wanted to hold him too, she wanted to share in the joy of the moment.

Amanda, was finally able to hold her baby boy after waiting for Dave to satisfy himself, with him. 

At that moment, Amanda's joy, knew no bounds. She fell in love instantly with him.

Though she was very weak, and  couldn't sit up, she still wanted to keep her eyes open, she wanted to just keeping seeing her baby boy, but her body failed her.

She passed out from weakness. when she woke up the first thing she wanted to do was to hold her baby,  she wanted to hold her baby and to ask him loads of questions, but she was greeted with yet another shocker.

her baby was dead.