Chapter 1

The Day My Heart Gave Up

Emilia

I used to think that I was strong. I used to believe that if I kept quiet for long, and that if I endured patiently enough, love would eventually find me. But that morning, as I sat alone in the hospital hallway, I realized something painful. 

My chest had been hurting for weeks, and I kept running a fever that would not go away. I had told myself that it was just sickness. Something simple that medicine could fix. But deep down, I knew the real problem was my heart. It hurt so much every day that my body started to feel it too. 

I looked around the hospital waiting area and pressed my fingers together. The place smelled clean and cold. Nurses walked past me with calm faces. I felt small sitting there. My body had been weak lately and I woke up every morning feeling drained. I had headaches as my temperature kept rising at night. I barely ate. I told myself it was just stress from work. I told myself I was overthinking things. But the truth was simple. My heart had been breaking slowly, and I think my body started reacting to it.

That morning, before I came to the hospital, my younger sister Georgina had called me. She was glowing with happiness and I could hear it in her voice.

“Emilia, you will not believe what he did,” she had said excitedly.

“What did he do?” I had asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“He woke up early just to make breakfast for me. He even packed my lunch himself. And last night he wouldn’t let me lift a finger. He kept saying, ‘You’re my wife. Let me take care of you.’ Isn’t that sweet?”

I forced out a laugh. “That’s very sweet, Georgina.”

“He keeps saying he feels lucky to have me,” she continued. “Emilia, marriage is so beautiful when you marry someone who loves you.”

Her words stayed in my head long after we ended the call. Marriage is beautiful when you marry someone who loves you. I had sat on my bed for a long time after that conversation. 

Five years of marriage, and I had never heard Julian say he felt lucky to have me. He needed a wife to show his dying father so he could keep the family company and I inreturn, needed money to pay my student loans and help Georgina after our parents had died in that car accident. 

It was supposed to be simple. Just a paper marriage with no feelings and no real love. But somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him and started wanting more. I wanted him to touch me. To talk to me at night. And to look at me like though I mattered. But he never did. We slept in the same house, but we were more like strangers to each other. The mere thought that I was still a virgin after five years made my eyes sting with tears every time I remembered it.

I closed my eyes in the hospital chair and took in a slow breath. I told myself that I was here because of a fever. I told myself that I was here because my body was weak. But I knew I was here because I did not know how much longer I could keep carrying this silent pain.

“Mrs. Aldridge?” a soft voice called.

I looked up and a female doctor stood by the door with a gentle expression. I followed her inside her office and sat down.

“What seems to be the problem?” she asked kindly.

“I’ve been feeling tired,” I replied. “And I’ve had a fever for a few days now.”

She nodded. “Any stress lately?”

I hesitated before answering. “Just work.”

She studied me for a moment like though she could see more than I was saying. “We’ll run some tests,” she said. “Blood work and a few other checks. It’s better to be sure.”

I nodded. “Thank you, doctor.”

As she took my samples, I stared at the wall. I felt empty. I wondered what she would say when the results came. Part of me wished it was something serious. Something physical. Something I could point to and say, this is why I feel this way. Because I knew that admitting to the fact that I was heartbroken felt weak.

“You’ll get your results within forty-eight hours,” she said after she was done. “Try to rest.”

“I will,” I answered softly.

I stepped out of her office, still lost in my thoughts. I kept thinking about Georgina’s laughter, about her happiness. And I wondered what it felt like to be chosen every day by your husband. I wondered what it felt like to be wanted.

“Watch where you’re going!”

The sharp voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I turned quickly toward the noise. A man had just bumped into someone in the hallway. He looked rushed, distracted. He looked…

My breath caught.

It was Julian.

My husband.

He barely glanced at the person he bumped into before continuing down the hall. His face looked tense and his jaw was tight. He looked worried.

“What is he doing here?” I whispered to myself.

I felt confused as Julian rarely visited hospitals unless it was for business. I stretched out my hand slightly.

“Julian,” I called.

He didn’t hear me.

He kept walking fast, almost running. My heart began to pound. Was someone sick? Was a colleague in trouble? I gathered my purse tightly and followed him.

Julian stopped in front of a private room. He didn’t knock, he just went straight in.

When I reached the room he went into, I stopped at the door. There was a small glass window. I looked through it and saw my best friend, Cassandra, inside. She sat on the bed dressed in a hospital gown. I felt worried at first. Was Cassandra hurt? What happened to her? I placed my hand on the door handle to go in and ask but then, Cassandra turned toward the door and I saw her belly. It was big and round. She was pregnant. Very pregnant. My hand froze on the handle as I could not move.

My mind went blank as I stared at her. I saw her almost every week. We worked together. We talked. Yes, things had been strained lately, but she never mentioned a pregnancy. Not once.

“How…” I whispered under my breath.

Before I could process it, she stood up slowly and walked toward Julian. Her expression softened when she looked at him and then she wrapped her arm around him.

I stopped breathing as I watched Julian’s face change. The tension that was there on his face before, disappeared. The worry faded and in its place, I saw relief. Admiration. Something gentle I had never seen him show me.

They looked close. Too close.

I had never known them to be close like that. Julian always carried a cold aura around people. He was polite but distant. Even with me, he was controlled.

But not now.

He lifted his hand carefully and placed it on her stomach.

I felt sick by watching and my stomach turned as Julian bent down, and placed a soft kiss on her big belly. He smiled at it. Cassandra smiled back and touched his face.

Tears filled my eyes fast as I covered my mouth with my hand so I would not make a sound. No. No. No. This could not be real. My mind raced. 

They looked so comfortable together. So close. Julian never looked at me like that. Never. Not once in five years.

At that moment, everything started to make sense now. Why he stayed late at work so many nights. Why he barely talked to me at home. And why he had never touched me. His heart was not mine. It belonged to her. To Cassandra. My best friend since college. The one I had trusted.

My legs felt weak as I pressed my back against the wall so I would not fall as tears ran down my cheeks. I could not stop them. My husband was cheating on me with my best friend. And she was carrying his child.