It's usually so easy to carry on with the same daily routine that you'd been doing for so long, and now when someone suddenly comes along, erases or disrupts just a minor of your plans, then you just know that you are in some sort of trouble.
It's never easy, breaking away from what you are so used to and try fit someone new, in a part of your life, who not only doesn't have to do much to get a reaction out of you, but the one who doesn't seem to stop making you feel crazily open-minded, about trying something new.
Connor, that's him.
After spending some time with him and of course after what happened yeste
Two weeks trial.It has already begun and already a day has passed, I don't know how I feel about this because a part of me wants to go home, while the other finds itself wanting to stay.I don't even know if this is about me anymore or maybe it's Connor or just my fears of getting back into the outside world.Vicky and I haven't spoken to each other since yesterday.I don't know, maybe this is me being stubborn but I'm still a little mad at her, for what she did. Even though Vicky and I are going through a minor glitz, I do miss talking to her.She's my friend or more like my big sister and guardian here. She knows me and I think more than my own mother sometimes does.I did mention the two week trial thing which instead of him being affected about this, his eyes began to twinkle and I instantly knew that he was summing up some crazy thought in his mind.I shake my head slightly and try focus on what I'm doing. It's my day acti
A breath escapes me the moment I look at Connor's door.Before the visitation happened, a lot was left hanging in the air and I'm not sure where things are now between us. For the first real time since we've known each other, I let him see just a snippet of my fears in broad daylight and in all honesty, I'm scared of the outcome of that.I sigh before I head on to my room, I enter and just as I'm about to close the door, something suddenly prevents it from closing. Looking up, I see Connor right in front of me, no smirk or his playfulness on display, just a serious expression on. Now my senses ride on high alert about what's to come.I was right to be scared, I mean looking at him now, he looks like a man on a mission." Don't say anything, just listen." He says, sounding determined.I don't say anything."You care about me," he states.Before I can
" Na, na, na." I hum to myself while I make my way to my room, I've just gotten back from my activity and I feel like having a nap.Entering into my room,my eye immediately notices something laid on my bed. Leaning closer , I see that it is a note.~ Something crazy. Meet me on the roof C~A small grin forms on my face as I place my book on my bed. Not even thinking twice, I get out of there, getting ready for this ' something crazy '.My eyes don't miss Connor sitting on the bench that we had sat on once upon a time, I stand in front of him with the note in hand. " Found your note."" Good," he says before rising to his feet and grabs ahold of my hand, then walks with me to the center of the roof.
" You're ignoring me." He points out." I don't know what you're talking about." I say, not even opening my eyes.Of course I know what he's talking about, for most of the day, I haven't spoken to him, because I woke up this morning and decided that if he was not going to answer my question, then I'll let him get a feel of being the one left hanging, not knowing.Childish I know , but my curiosity isn't agreeing with that right about now. So I'm under a tree, lying on the grass and just enjoying myself, well trying to .I hear him sigh before I feel him sit right next to me."This is about last night, isn't it?" He asks.Peeking a look at him, I say. " Last night, what about last night?"I open both my eyes, to see him frown at me." Bea, you know what I'm talking about." He whines." Do I, really?" I know that I must be annoying him
The morning sun creeps in and I'm welcomed by a heartbeat beneath my ear, as well as a hard chest. I feel eyes on me and that's when everything starts to come back to me. In the early hours of the morning one of my nightmares had taken over, I caught myself screaming and was about to wallow in the darkness but everything changed, when Connor was here and with no questions asked, he comforted me and let me depend on him for strength, he was here again and had stayed with me.Looking up at him with my chin on his chest, I see him smiling down at me." Morning." I say, my voice a little croaky due to the morning effect." Good morning to you too." He says and like that, we remain looking at each other.Breaking the moment I move away so I can sit upright." Nice to know you snore." He teases and I frown at him." I do not!" I protest ." Umm, I had to block my ears thank
Unsure. That's how I feel right about now.Staring myself at the mirror, I look different and not only that, I feel unlinke my normal casual self." Okay, one last thing." She says coming up behind me."What?" I hope it's not some jewelery or worse, make up, because I'm happy with what I have on now, just light gloss."Have fun." I turn around to face her, where she gives me a small smile.I trail my eyes down to my feet. I can't take her smile anymore since it's rubbing off on me.There's a jolt of excitement while the bigger part of fear, for feeling and looking this different weighs on me, even though it's just me in a dress.A dress, geez ,when was the last time I wore a dress, I mean it's been years since I've worn a dress and actually identifying myself as less then what many have claimed me as. A freak." Okay wear your shoes
There are moments in life you'd wish to forget while others, you want them to stay in mind and to never vanish. That's what last night is to me, a night that has me wondering about the state of mine and Connor's relationship.What happens now?I can't lie and say that I'm not afraid of what had happened, it having a negativity to what I've grown accustomed to, our real friendship. I mean last night I experienced my first ever real kiss, a kiss that made me feel butterflies swooning in my belly and still are.I might be scared but I can't hide the fact that every time I think about him, and of course the kiss, I still feel tingles on my lips, proving the lasting effects that something honest and true can do to someone. I haven't seen him and the more I don't, the more doubt and regret weighs on me, since I don't really know how he's feeling today. Last night was all about the moment and now that it is over, and today is a new day, I don't know if - .Vicky
Turning a blind eye on what's in front of me has me at loggerheads with both denial and the truth. Denial, because for the past two days all I've been doing is acting like Connor and I didn't kiss, or that just him being close makes my heart to beat fast and breath to come out short.Oh I can't forget the butterflies in my belly.The truth is, whether I'd like to admit it or not, I want him to kiss me again and for me to go back to the feeling of being wrapped up in a bubble, with just the two of us.Vicky is right to tell me to not rush into things because I don't want to, I don't want to rush on a train that I can only get so far on, before I lose control of the ride.I will not lie and say I know all about the matters of the heart because I'm as clueless as a baby, I've never done anything, except Saturday night when Connor became my first ever kiss.I know many may be wondering a