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Never the Way We Were
Never the Way We Were
Author: Three Two

Chapter 1

Author: Three Two
I walked carefully, terrified of missing the wire.

Stellan Hale called out suddenly. "Elara!"

His voice cracked, but he stopped himself before he could say anything more.

I pretended I had not noticed, keeping my tone bright. "Is your head hurting again? Come here, let me rub it for you."

Words flashed frantically across my vision. "Stop walking, you blind little fool! The wire is right in front of you!"

That was good. Right in front of me, so I would not miss it.

Yet just as my foot was about to come down, the doorbell rang. A chair scraped violently across the floor behind me.

"Watch out!"

Something slammed into me with full force and knocked me to the ground. My skull buzzed from the impact, and for a long moment the pain overwhelmed everything else.

Stellan's hands were trembling as he pulled me upright. "Elara, I'm sorry... There was a wire."

The words erupted in fury. "You piece of sh*t, Stellan Hale! You're the one trying to kill her, and now you're shaking? Now you feel bad?"

My chest ached. He was such an idiot. Why did he go soft now?

I pushed through the pain and gave him a reassuring smile. "Even if there was a wire, it's my own fault for not seeing it. I'm fine, really. It doesn't hurt at all."

The words went wild again. "She cracked her head open and yet she's the one apologizing?"

However, I knew Stellan was hurting more than I was.

Broken sobs reached my ears. He was about to say something else when the phone rang.

A woman's voice came through. "I know you're home. I'm not leaving until I see you.

"Stellan, just think of this as my last visit."

I recognized her. Thea Callew, the prodigy painter who had been all over the news lately.

She and Stellan had met years ago while volunteering together, bonded by their shared love of painting. He had told me once that he had found a kindred spirit in her, and Thea had told me just as earnestly that his work was the most inspired she had ever seen.

Now one of them was a celebrated artist while the other was a doctor tethered to a blind girl.

Stellan hated being a doctor. After every surgery, he would throw up until he could barely stand.

He squeezed my hand so hard it hurt, then let go just as suddenly and stumbled toward the door. The force of him pushing past me sent me staggering. I lost my bearings and the back of my head cracked against the sharp corner of the table.

Blood ran down in warm, steady streams.

"Stel," I whimpered. "It hurts..."

The door slammed shut.

I could not see, but my hearing had always been far sharper than most people's. Even through the closed door, their muffled voices carried.

Thea spoke through tears. "Her eyes can't be fixed! You can't save her! Your hands have more talent than mine ever will!

"Come with me to my mentor. It's not too late, if you just..."

Stellan cut her off, his voice shaking. "Thea, she gave me my life. She's blind and she's here. Where am I supposed to go?"

Thea's voice became softer. "Then what about your dream? What about... me?"

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  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 11

    I heard his tears too. I gathered the empty dishes, set them aside, and reached around to wipe his eyes."Don't cry, Stel. Eyes are precious."His tears broke like a dam. He cried until he could not stop."Elara, you gave me my life. I don't have a home anymore. Elara, I want to go home."It hurts so much. Where am I supposed to find my rib?"I don't know. I really don't know... I'm sorry. I'm sorry."His words tumbled out in pieces, barely coherent, but I understood every one of them. Stellan was tired."Stel, it's okay."If a pair of swallows had to carry a blind one between them in flight, of course they would tire.I held him the way I used to when we were small, gently patting his back, over and over."It's okay, Stel. You're okay. Nothing to be afraid of."His crying slowly quieted. I pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face."Stel, go home."When I found you, I told you. Go wherever you want to go."I was a cage. Keeping him locked inside for the rest of his

  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 10

    "She's a wonderful girl. She's no trouble at all."I stood there holding the trash bag and sighed.Stellan. Of course he was behind this.Leah turned around as she hung up the phone and met my blank, sightless eyes.Her voice was tinged with worry. "Elara..."I smiled at her. "Leah, it's fine. There's still a bowl of pasta left over. Tell him to come up and eat."Stellan came upstairs but stood outside the door for a long time before he worked up the nerve to knock.I smiled in the direction of the doorway."Stel, you're here. You must be hungry. Come eat, tell me what you think."My voice was light and easy, as though he had just come home from work. Stellan pulled out a chair and sat down without a word.He shoveled the pasta into his mouth in big, hurried bites. His tears fell straight onto the plate of food.I waited quietly for him to finish.When he spoke, his voice was choked. "Elara, if a swallow loses its way... can it still fly home?"When he had been abandoned a

  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 9

    Other than Stellan, I had never been that close to anyone. I stood there with her hand in mine, not knowing what to do.Shy was the last word I would use for this girl. I also did not believe for a second that someone this sweet had no one willing to be her friend.Still, Yolanda was not the least bit put off by my silence. She just kept swinging my hand back and forth."Say yes, say yes, please?"My face turned bright red, and I stammered out an okay.Yolanda beamed.She was nothing close to shy. She was completely fearless around strangers. Every day she would show up at my door loaded with bags of things her sister had made, feel her way inside, and plant herself on my couch like she owned the place.Most of the time she talked and I listened.Yolanda got upset about that too."You never talk to me! If you don't want to be friends, then fine, I won't bother with you either!"I panicked, my face flushing. "That's not it. I do want to. I like you."When I was little, no one

  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 8

    Thea laughed through her tears."Is this how she destroyed the hand you used to paint with? How many more hands do you have left for her to ruin?"I had hurt Thea's hand? The guilt crushed me like a wave."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just saw a path and I wanted to walk on it."I didn't know. I didn't know she was..."Stellan cut me off, his voice cold and laced with disgust. "Enough."Elara, you're blind. What path could you possibly see?"His voice twisted until it no longer sounded like his own."Wasn't it enough that my painting hand was destroyed?"Please, tell me. How many more people's futures have to pay for yours?"I stood frozen, stammering apology after apology.Right. I was blind. What had made me think I could see?Stellan gathered Thea up in a panic and rushed her to the hospital. When he passed me, he did not say a word. He did not so much as glance in my direction. He left me standing alone in the empty hallway.I did not dare try again. I felt my way along

  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 7

    I tried to open my eyes as wide as they would go, desperate to see even the smallest thing, but when I forced them open, there was still nothing.The scrolling words were gone.What reached me instead was Stellan's scent, overwhelming and unmistakable, flooding in from every direction.I found it strange and inhaled sharply. The familiar smell of floral soap was still there.I lay in the hospital bed, lost."I'm... not dead?"Stellan's hands clamped down on my shoulders so hard I thought the bones might shift out of place. However, his voice was as still and flat as dead water."Elara, don't do this again. Ever."I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving again."My heart felt as though it were still submerged in that frozen lake, heavy and cold.I opened my mouth, my throat dry and cracked. "Stellan, I have never been acting out. I meant it."I had meant to die. However, all Stellan did was squeeze my hand weakly."Elara, I've accepted my lot. What more do you want from me?

  • Never the Way We Were   Chapter 6

    "Her burns were already severe. Being submerged in ice water on top of that…"She'll need skin grafts."Stellan lowered his head, blank-faced. He rolled up his pant leg and looked at the skin on his own thigh."Can you use mine?"Thea burst in at that moment. She was in love with Stellan, and she could not bear to see his talent wasted. In the end, she had not been able to bring herself to leave."No! Stellan, you said it yourself! You've paid back everything you owe her. Why would you hurt yourself for her?"Have you forgotten what she said? She only saved you so she could keep you as her dog!"Stellan's gaze drifted past her, hollow."You know, that day, I knew every word she said was a lie. So why do you think I was so stubborn about pushing her away?"Stellan was looking at Thea, but it was as though he did not really see her."Why was I so determined to push her away that day?"He dug his fingers into his own thigh until the skin went white.He thought back to that aft

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