6. Hope

I let myself get carried away there. Now I must calm down my father. Except he won’t stop pacing the floor of his small room. 

He’s too flustered to sign, so I’m stuck waiting for him to communicate.

Guilt hits me. What would Ryan have thought if he’d walked in on that scene?

Cal’s firm, possessive grip lingering on my wrists, his face only inches away from mine. In those few silly moments of teasing my mate was miles from my mind. 

All I could think about was running my hand through Cal’s soft brown curls. Seeing just how hard a peak I could tease that bulge in his parts into.

Thank the Goddess I didn’t go there or my father really might have killed him.

His face was fascinating. Cal thinks he’s so gruff and unreadable. I felt every bit of his body flexing, twitching and moving as we traded barbs. 

His chest had a fine covering of soft, lighter brown hair. My fingers accidentally brushed through it as I cleaned him up. Sat on his v-line, my main worry was that he would sense my arousal. 

Except it was him I felt throbbing into life before flipping onto his front. Why did my wolf flood me with adrenaline at that realisation and not guilt? Why did I want to provoke him more, see just how far I could push him?

What would Ryan think? Come on Hope. Mated for only a month and already unworthy of the title. No wonder Ryan never marked me.

My mind conjures up the melon-sweet scent and soulful brown eyes of my mate. The man the Moon Goddess has chosen for me. The one I am going to enjoy a blissful life with after this one shitty winter. His lovely soft blonde-bearded face that I kissed and nuzzled against every morning. 

I just got a bit overconfident that’s all. 

Probably because I only ever really saw Cal from a distance. Being friends with Delilah, his little sister makes Cal feel like some kind of forbidden fruit. I never dreamed I could actually have my hands on his body as a wide-eyed youngster. 

He was around eighteen then, I was only thirteen. Old enough to have a crush, young enough to not be mercilessly mocked by anyone for it existing.

Staring at his sleeping body in between stitchings, he has doubled in size since those days. He must work out like a beast, or take after his father and is naturally a massively powerful man. 

He won’t know, but while he slept I was gentle as a lamb with him. I’ve remained awake for over twenty hours pulling all those bullet fragments from his body. 

I turned away help from Luna Elvie and Vera, one of the other young women here. Now my head pounds at the drama I’ve caused. 

Cal didn’t even flinch. I found myself breathing deeper, taking in his oaky cinnamon scent whilst I worked on his chest and ribs the longer we were alone together in that miserable square room.

It was only when he was awake and annoyingly rude that I got a bit meaner. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the image of his eyes bulging and body slackening as my father choked him out of my head. He really could have killed him.

“Papa, please nobody did anything wrong!”

He slapped at his heart, then his collarbone over his thick grey pullover. The matebond. 

“I know! I know what you think. We don’t like each other, it was just sparring. A few minutes earlier I was jabbing him with a needle and hurting him!”

His green eyes were full of confused anguish. I love my father so much, but he feels everything to the extremes. He was utterly devoted to my mother, their arguments were merely the tip of the iceberg of their bond. I don’t know what happened to him when he was younger but I know he used to talk. His muteness is his body’s reaction to trauma.

Now he is stuck in this plain room without even a picture of her after we left everything behind to race up here. Just a single bed, small bookshelf crammed with leather-bound volumes and a lamp. Basic. Uncomplicated. Fucking beige.

“Ryan has left me here Papa, I asked him to stay and he wouldn’t!”

He shook his head in disagreement, long red braids flying about the room with vehemence. The fact my father cannot speak means I end up talking more, filling the gaps, guessing his opinions. He always gestures and corrects if I get it wrong but I rarely do. I know his ways, just like my mother did. Like I know he doesn’t like staring into my eyes anymore, not now they remind him of her.

“I know he’s got a plan, but it still hurts! Plus Cal is the one who beat up Ryan just before he left so I was just getting a bit of revenge on him. I know it’s a shitty thing to do, but I…I don’t know I just wanted him to be brought down a couple of notches you know? He’s so full of himself, well I had him beat! I won!”

He raised a hand up to the ceiling, clearly not believing me. Pleading, near begging I keep going. “I know it didn’t look like that when you came in but I promise you, he only did that after I completely embarrassed him.”

I reached out for his hand and squeezed his thinning digits, hating how much older my beloved papa had become in only a few months. Grief was stripping him apart. “I’m sorry Papa, it won’t happen again. He’s leaving anyway. He’s stitched up, once the trucks come back he’s heading straight out of here.”

He cupped my cheek and pressed his forehead to mine, planting a kiss on the end of my nose. He had written in a note to me as a child that his favourite freckle of mine was right there on the tip. 

In silence we stood, both calming down.

“I’m going to get some sleep, are we okay?” 

With our eyes shut I felt him nod up and down, rolling his forehead against mine. I placed my hand on his heart and he clamped his on top. We’re good. It’s okay. 

Shakily, with exhaustion and a hell of a headache brewing I retreat to my room just a few doors down. I slam the door shut and sink into a fitful sleep. I see Ryan’s face, but it’s not comforting. 

Waking up, my headache is simply replaced with a sickening, churning stomach. There was no point hiding away. Time to get out and see what's happening.

They weren’t able to do too much to the original layout of this place. There is a huge central space from which nine corridors spur out. Walking along the corridors everything feels too bright, and eerily quiet. Where is everyone else?

I have avoided coming down here. Even though I’d agreed to spend the Freeze with my father, deep down I’d hoped he might change his mind. I’d taken one look at my bleak little room and climbed straight back out of the hatch into the winter wind.

I kept walking, past rows of metal doors, my corridor, number three had them all painted a pleasant mint green. Corridor one, where the Alpha resided alongside his Beta’s had a soft blue.

“Hope!” a female voice cries out. Blonde with bright grey eyes, Vera stands out from the crowd. Her fox-red fur coat helps too as she bustles down the corridor towards me with authority.

“I just wanted to know what’s happening-”

“I’ve been looking for you! Alpha Reu has called a meeting.” her face drawn tightly, not even a hint of a smile. She was born down here, alongside her brother Ervin. True followers of the Light, they called themselves and Mireille. 

Falling into step just behind her I stifle a yawn and enter the huge central space. Once known as the black hall I saw less than two dozen people waiting. “Where is everyone?” but Vera had already walked away to stand with her friends. Arms folded they muttered in low towns, frowning.

I found my grizzled, silent father and stood at his side. Am I a member of this pack now? Looking around at the serious faces in fur coats, it certainly doesn’t feel like it. 

Burning heat rises on the back of my neck. It must be Vera shooting me daggers for almost making her late.

“Attention!” shouts the bald, hollowed-eyed Beta Arlen as Luna Elvie sweeps in. Petite with silvery hair and green eyes, she is a force to be reckoned with. 

“Everyone, Reu is with the returning drivers. I…it appears the Rogues were not to be trusted. They arrived with weapons. They made our brave men load their trucks at gunpoint. They stripped them of their furs and hats. Then…when some protested, shots were fired and trucks were stolen.”

Standing in her long grey fur coat I noticed some tell-tale smears of blood on the wrists. Her hands shook as she tried to compose herself before us all.

“Only Ervin and Beta Sol have made it back, they’re both being cared for-” lifting her hand as Arlen’s face dropped in horror, ready to sprint out of the room. 

“We have lost ten devoted members of our pack. We shall mourn. Faithfully and solemnly. But right now, it is imperative we close up the bunker. The Freeze has begun. You all know what to do."

“What about Mireille?” Vera asked quietly?

“No. There was no sign of Mir-” as Luna Elvie could hold herself together no longer. She dropped to her knees on the floor as her sobs echoed around the space. 

So few people to endure this Freeze alongside. I knew Reu had sent others away to free up resources so they could give as much foos as possible. They would have never expected to lose another ten on top of that.

As I help Vera lift Elvie to her feet, I can still feel that burning gaze. My eyes lift and catch Cal. He’s staring straight at me, a white dressing on his neck, his stern face a mixture of fear and fury. 

He’s still here. It was his dark, glinting gaze I could feel. My stomach curls again but the nausea has gone, it’s flickering with excitement and terror as our eyes remain connected across the room. 

I’ve got to get through six months without failing my father and breaking every rule of a mated shifter. I have to. Otherwise I lose everything. There is no coming back from breaking a matebond, especially one so new. Cheaters are shunned and despised. It's breaking the call of the Goddess, what worse crime is there?

Cal has a mate out there somewhere. I have a crush I need to get a handle on. That's all it is. Taking a breath I continue to meet his gaze, except I swear I can feel electricity in my veins.