I woke up in his arms. I canโt even really call them arms without it feeling inadequate. They are such huge, powerful wedges of muscles. The way he picked me up like I was nothing, his body twice as wide as mine. Iโve never known anything like it. Not once in my life, not even the cycle of women who raised me ever treated me so tenderly. Every kiss felt like a blessing. All the touches of his fingers, his hot searching mouth left me wanting more. I didnโt quake in fear or dread the next rabid crush of his flesh against mine. He was everything I never even knew I craved. By the time I asked for him to use his mouth, my wolf had ebbed into a satisfied lull. It was my craving then. I didnโt want the night to end. Watching him sleep, he is still fully clothed. The ripples of scars underneath his grizzled dark brown short beard and down his neck suggest his torso may be similar to my back. My scars are mainly from my teen years. I struggled to adjust to Corinaโs sudden dislike of me. I
Little Lyra is just getting herself everywhere isnโt she. If she isnโt turning Declan into a lovesick, pining puppy for the past three weeks, now sheโs fucked Howen in the Black Hall! That towel he wrapped around his hips reeked of her. Vile little runt. Except then his cheeky green eyes twinkle at me under all that fiery red hair. He loves seeing me jealous. I can't believe I called him Howdy, a pet name slipping out. I need to stop that straight away.He already knows I need him. I try to play the ice queen, like I could kick him out of my bed anytime I wanted. I think we both know that I would weep without those nighttime visits now. . I noticed Lyra giving Mara a raised eyebrow when changing my sheets the other day. Both of them want a good slap for their insolence. However, Declan and his council have banned such punishments, so I must bide my time. Howenโs straying doesnโt mean I didnโt love the Black Hall. I spent most of the time with a man who smelt of berries. Curly hai
After the shower with Declan we reluctantly parted. His hands siding over my body left me breathless when I should have been talking, telling him everything I felt. Confessing my secrets.But that would mean breaking this tiny moment of happiness. He gently stroked my cheek with a mournful expression before a batch of chefs clattered past. The Full Moon is very much over and I am reduced to being simply the daughter of his enemy all over again. Dressed in my tattered purple and gold-buttoned dress, my first thought was to give the herbs back to Reu. With a guilty, slinking walk I headed to the deputyโs rooms. Howen was thankfully not there, Corina apparently still keeping him occupied. The white-haired Reu sat hunched at his plain metal desk, scribbling in a leatherbound journal. โHey,โ he said softly. โAre you okay? You looking for Declan?โ With trembling hands I placed the dried purple flowers on the desk. โIโm so sorryโฆI got desperate.โ He shook his head, abandoning his writing
Itโs only sixteen days and eight hours until the next full moon. Until I can hold her and adore her and pretend that weโre not stuck in this hellhole. Pretend that she isnโt heading for execution by my leaders when spring arrives. Pretend she isnโt the bloodline I dreamt about destroying.The more I think about it, the longer I spend smashing the home-made punching bag that has been hung in the repurposed Black Hall. Sweat drips down my body, frustration pouring out of me but never sated. Everyone here knows she is the daughter of Valdis. Howen has said more than once she is a bad seed, a reputation amongst the other workers.To try and distract myself, I attended the council meeting. Corina, dressed in a low-cut ruby silk sits at my side, assumes she is second in command. It doesnโt help that the gathering has to take place in one of Valdisโ old offices. Itโs the only place with a table big enough. Standing around in a corridor is no good.โSirโฆAlphaโฆI mean Declan,โ Arlen spoke up, re
I had to seize this moment. The first time we had been alone together in over two weeks. To see him this agitated, pacing with his hands trembling awakens feelings of empathy. Over the years I have cradled Mara and others women through their suffering. I took beatings in their name rather than confirm their guilt. I did this out of guilt. I would never be in their shoes, a victim of Alpha Valdisโ savage lust. My guilt drove me to bathe their wounds and tend them, it wasnโt an act of love. I thought myself incapable of the notion, to be honest. Especially after Beta Ronan and those swirling tattoos travelling beyond his torso made it his mission to crush my belief in anything good. He once saw me tending to Mara, those long black coiled plaits trailing down his back and muttering, โrats are meant to eat the infirm ones, not help them,โ before spitting on the sodden ground. Declan struggling like this, a tense beast of a man standing over me, wanting my affection, seeking my care le
I had no idea what to say, how can you describe the moment all of your dreams fall into place. I just nodded, allowing myself to smile and accept his soft kisses. โYouโre very quiet, is this what you want too?โ he murmured before I wrapped my arms around him huge shoulders. โOf course, Iโm sorry yes. Yes!โ my smile now so wide it started to hurt my face. โBut we have to be a secret donโt we?โ He sighed and clicked his tongue. โI may have just made a massive scene at the council about banning relationships,โ and narrowed his dark eyebrows, โmight have made an error there.โ I shook my head, โI think I like it being just us, for a while, justโฆget used to the idea.โ Sat on Corinaโs bed I had a vision of her walking in and ruining everything. โI think we had better go, sheโll be back soon.โ โDonโt go hiding from me anymore, okay? I donโt know how you manage to do it but sometimes it feels like youโve escaped completely.โ I blush, knowing that he means the occasions I am with Viktor,
She had it coming. From the instant I saw her draped all over Declan, in my room no less, she was headed straight for Ronanโs door. It was simply a case of timing. Last week I was trying to find Howen after the council meeting, wondering if he might have taken the initiative and headed to my room when I spotted them. I gasped but they didnโt hear a thing, so wrapped up in each other. Her legs wrapped around him more specifically. From the tiny slit in the door I left open I saw his dark eyes staring into her like she was some kind of innocent princess. She isnโt. Sheโs from the gutter. Her mother was a slave just like her. The fact her mother abandoned her and left her to the care of the other slaves, choosing to escape without her says everything. Yet Declan apparently adores her. If they are fated mates when we get back above ground I am dead meat. My father told me about Lyraโs mother ten years ago. Above ground, in his study, surrounded by trophies of war, booze and weapons
I was seething when Arlen showed me the missing food. Hastily ripped open parcels, just clumsy, selfish thieves.. โSir, I have never known this happen before, obviously Valdis would have-โ his pink, fleshy hands already quivering with fear. โI know what he would have done,โ I growled darkly back before summoning everyone. Who would steal food? Who could be so selfish down here? Unfortunately, my mind initially turned to my fellow Rogues. Purely because those who have survived down here year after year know the dangers. They want the food to last. Then Fabian asked me to come check out something in corridor seven, the heating and pump rooms. Constant noise from the huge pipes and generators leaves my jaw clenched. It stinks like hell as Arlen, Sol, and the crew of identical looking shaven haired men with scared eyes constantly feed fuel and monitor the pressure. โWe could have a better system. Surely they donโt all need to be in here. Especially since one pump is down. On a full mo
### FIVE YEARS LATER ### The truck has seen better days. More grey than black it trundles us wherever we need. Declan has become the expert at fixing it, fully aware that I absolutely love it when he gets oil on his hands or face. Rolling up his sleeves, showing his huge forearms that are solid from hard work, I offer up a daily prayer of thanks to the Goddess. โYou are sure this is the place?โ โI heard about it from the others back home.โ Home was our small fishing village named Filney. Today was an unusual adventure for us, having barely left our little world for so long. Leaving the fortress all those years ago we had just headed south. With no more diversions or magnetic tourist attractions to show me, Declan took me to the very furthest tip of our nation. It still took a couple of months to get so far south. Just as he had dreamed, I fell asleep in the truck, waking up to him gently nudging me. However back then there had been no bump, just the first twinges of nausea and
The rumours were true. Only a minute or two after we got Howen and Pearl onto the ground did a silent shaft of light blaze down. Watching from outside the fortress it appeared painful, the way everyone dropped to the floor covering their eyes. Even I had to shield my eyes with my hands.From what I could see amidst the whiteness Elvie appeared to have lost her mind, stood tall, flailing her arms and shouting upwards. Declan held me close, wrapping his leather jacket back around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.โThank you,โ leaning into him, loving the warmth of his huge body against mine.โWhat for?โโFor not wanting to change us.โDeclan shifted, leaning against the black truck door. โCan I say I am happy with myself without sounding like a dick? Iโm covered in damage but I donโt care anymore.โโWell you are perfect, to me at least.โ I smiled, watching him roll his eyes even though he squeezed me a little tighter. As quickly as it descended the beam vanished. From a dista
The past few months have been a blur. When the Goddess light first appeared I didn't have a clue what to do. Instinct took over as I shredded into Reu's jacket with my claws, my wolf somehow emerging for the first time since I accidentally shifted at fourteen. I was whipped so severely for just my claws emerging in front of a Beta that I never tried it again. But when the light subsided, returning us to cold darkness I was sprawled underneath Reu in my wolf form. "What the fuck just happened?" Dill shouted, as everyone rubbed their eyes and huddled. Nearly everyone had dropped to the floor, unable to find their way indoors in the searing brightness. "Is everyone okay!" Reu shouted, clambering to his feet, his white hair a ragged mess. "Does anyone need help!" Everyone gasped as he stood up, revealing my shifted form. All the originals knew what a big deal it was. "Elvie is that you!" Arlen cried out, pointing in surprise. Then Sol gasped. "Arlen yourโฆyour hands!" "Dill your fac
I squealed as Declan roughly shoved me into Pearl, scattering us to the ground.Then I saw why. Holding a long-barrelled shotgun, eyes blazing a furious gold stood Viktor. He was red-faced, sweating with exertion. Blonde hair now hung down to his shoulders, dirty and tangled. โWhat the fuck are you doing here,โ Viktor said with a sneer, keeping the barrel pointed directly at Declanโs face. Manoeuvring so he could see all three of us togethe, his once handsome face twisted in smug victory.Gesturing the gun quickly towards me I gasped in fear as he mocked us. โYouโre looking good Lyra, and a pretty friend too. My Declan, aren't you getting adventurous. Or did you fancy a less damaged slut for a while?โโFuck off,โ Pearl growled but this was no time for trading insults. Not when my mate had a gun waved in his face.โYouโve hidden the golden wolf here then?โ Declan said flatly, flexing his huge chest, parting his legs to try and cover Pearl and I. From my crouched position I could feel
Lyra, forever formed of kindness and light raced to her side, Skidding into the blood and straw, not caring about her light cotton dress as she cradled Maraโs long blonde hair in her hands. โMara what happened to you! Shit! Pearl, get some help, quick!โ As the guard swore and cursed his bad luck, Pearl ran off. I heard her rummaging around in the guard room at the top of the corridor. Mara spluttered, her teeth stained with blood. Lyra carefully stroked her blonde hair away from the blood on her face, as gently as a mother would a newborn. โLyra heโฆI did everything he asked.โ โBut you hurt people for him? The guards at the fortress, the men in this gold sale?โ โI had to! I didnโt want to but he told me it was the only way. The only way we could be together. We put the golden wolf safe then came here to sell the little trinkets,โ as she got upset her words became more ragged, her breathing starting to rattle. โWe had such a good timeโฆit was, he was perfect.โ Pearl came scampering b
I have failed. Six months ensuring nothing harmed her happiness and Iโve gone and trashed it anyway. Those green eyes are filled with confusion and itโs all because of me. Because of something as simple as a dream. Albert having finally waddled downstairs, I slowly walk towards her. For the first time she steps backwards. Fuck. โYou want to find Viktor? Howen? Both of them?โ โI have to,โ I confessed sadly, slumping down to sit on the soft bed. I rubbed at my eyes, running my hands through my short brown curls in frustration. โLyra, these nightmaresโฆthese dreams are telling me Iโve got to do something.โ โWhat dreams?โ her voice softening, even though her arms are still folded. I keep my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly as I force the words out. โLast night, I saw Howen as he was, as a young man being led away from me by Viktor, into a crowded road. I run, I search. I kill strangers in the streets to try to get to him. It drives me feral to the point where my dream ends wi
Of course leaving the Fortress wouldnโt be complete without some final bloodshed. Seeing how Declanโs brotherhood had torn themselves to pieces the instant Beldon died was sobering. When I asked if we needed to tell the rest of the Rogues waiting back at the base, Declan shook his head. โThe ones that made it out would have high-tailed it straight back there anyway."โWhat made Beldon and Morrell soโฆangry?โ โI think they let their Bond fail. I donโt think you can live a life that violent, however well intentioned and not let it taint something pure,โ Declan replied flatly. โOnce that starts to rot, it all falls apart. Like how you described Corina.โSo with Beldonโs body gingerly dragged from the flatbed of the dented black truck, we left. We were silent for the first few hours. Mainly because I was staring out of the window like an idiot at everything new. Declan was content to just drive, and watch me from the corner of his eye. Seeing the cragged black mountains up close, actual
Declan and Lyra left a few days ago. Elvie and I insisted on being the ones to take them back to what was left of the Rogue camp. On the snowmobiles, carrying machine guns and blades, we found a site of devastation. Blood had been spilled. A huge amount of it judging by the snowy corpse-clumps in the ground. Only one truck remained, Beldonโs frosted corpse. Tent sheeting flapped with claw marks, chunks of leather clothing shredded. Elvie and Lyra had shuddered to discover Amelie under one of the collapsed tents. โSo this is Rogue law?โ Elvie had muttered with a bitter tone. โYou never know with Amelie, she may have struck the first blow or tried to lead a group attack,โ I said after a minute's consideration. She always wanted to play big.She wouldnโt have even been up here had she not begged to come. Sitting quietly around every campfire for years, I have learned to watch people when they think they arenโt being studied. Amelie wanted more than her usual piece of Dec the instant
Seeing Declan standing above my bed, blanket in hand, face flushed with desire I had for a second assumed it was just another fantasy. Too much hugging of the sandalwood-scented pillow, tricking myself again.Then he kissed me. He was so real. With a desire that bordered on frenzy, he seized and fucked me so exquisitely I felt I was coming apart at the seams. Only his gruff, heavy hold over my body kept me together. There was no feeling like it in the world when he sunk that deep inside. Laid next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, my toes curled at the memory of how he grabbed my ass, admiring me even though I knew my back was littered with scars.I love how even in his sleep, if I try to move away he instinctively pulls me closer. So excited to have him home I study him, unable to rest myself. His brown hair is shaggy and unkempt. That brown beard I love is even more ragged and needs trimming after so many days away.Despite the fighting and lack of food, Declanโs bod