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Chapter 8

Author: North and North
Within days of my leaving, the Gardner household fell apart.

Vanessa filled me in later.

Dad's blood sugar crashed during a meeting, and he fell out of his chair in front of everyone. His assistant reached for the wrong medication in the scramble to help him, and the meeting ended early.

When Dad came to, the first thing he asked was, "Where's Sam?"

Nobody answered.

Mom barely slept for four nights. Eventually, she asked Mason to keep her company. Ten minutes later, he was already restless
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  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 10

    I didn't move back in with the Gardners, but I didn't cut them off completely. I changed my number and stayed in the family group chat.Not because I couldn't let go. My rehabilitation therapist said cutting everyone off didn't always mean you had moved on.Dad started setting alarms to remind himself to take his medicine. On his first attempt, he somehow set one for 2 a.m. instead of 8 a.m. The alarm blared through the quiet house. Delilah stormed downstairs, her hair a mess. "Dad, what could you possibly need to do at two in the morning?"Dad frowned at his phone. "Hit the wrong button."He used to have no idea where his medicine was. Now, he carried it with him and set the pill organizer right on the conference table. Once, someone joked, "Keeping your own schedule now, Mr. Gardner? Nobody at home reminding you?"Dad went quiet for a moment. "My son used to. Tracked me down every day to make sure I took it. I…took him for granted."He never let work make him miss another

  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 9

    Three months later, I took the stage at the Young Comedian of the Year.My throat still wasn't fully healed. Talking too long hurt, and my voice was a lot rougher than it used to be. When the director asked if I was nervous, I shook my head.Of course I was. But after being trapped in a fire and making a dozen calls nobody answered, I could handle a little stage fright.The auditorium was packed. All four Gardners sat at one end of the front row.Even Mason showed up. He had lost a lot of weight. This time, he wasn't wearing that white suit from the anniversary gala.My set was called "Please Don't Call." It was about a guy whose family called him whenever they needed something fixed.Dad forgot his meds? Call him. Mom couldn't sleep? Call him. His sister was late for a game? Better call him.But when he finally needed help, someone on the other end said, "Let it ring. He just wants attention."At first, the audience couldn't stop laughing. As I went on, though, the room gr

  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 8

    Within days of my leaving, the Gardner household fell apart. Vanessa filled me in later.Dad's blood sugar crashed during a meeting, and he fell out of his chair in front of everyone. His assistant reached for the wrong medication in the scramble to help him, and the meeting ended early.When Dad came to, the first thing he asked was, "Where's Sam?"Nobody answered.Mom barely slept for four nights. Eventually, she asked Mason to keep her company. Ten minutes later, he was already restless. "Mom, I've got class in the morning. Can't you just take your sleeping pill?"After he shut the door, she sat alone and thought about me drifting around her room under a bedsheet. She always told me I looked ridiculous. Now, she would've given anything to hear one of my terrible jokes, but no one was there to tell one.Delilah had it the worst. She had another panic attack before the basketball league final. This time, nobody grabbed the announcer's mic. Nobody ran onto the court in a

  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 7

    The day I left the hospital, the Gardners sent three cars to pick me up. Dad even canceled a board meeting. He stood outside the entrance and said, "You're coming home to recover. I'll sort it out with the school."I walked past him, wheeled my suitcase over to the exchange program's shuttle, and got on.Delilah stepped in front of the door, blocking my way. "Sam, you still can't talk. Who's gonna look after you?"I held up my phone.[Teachers. Classmates. Doctors. Anyone.]They could hardly do worse than my family.Delilah tightened her grip on the doorframe. "I was wrong, okay? I should've answered. I never should've blocked you." Her voice shook. "Please, Sam. Give me another chance."I pointed at my throat, then scrolled back to her old messages.[Knock it off.[Don't forget to wake me up tomorrow.]First, her game mattered more than my feelings. Then Mason's piano performance mattered more than my life.I was done waiting for my turn to matter.Mom stepped forward

  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 6

    Dad snatched the acceptance letter out of my hands. "We'll talk about this later."I reached for it, but he held it out of reach. "Look at you, Sam. You can barely move. You think we're letting you go off on your own?"I looked down and typed. [I was on my own in the fire.]His hand went still.Mom stepped in. "Honey, your dad's just worried about you."[He's worried about how this makes the family look.]Dad's face tightened. "If that's how you choose to see it, there's nothing I can do."A humorless laugh came from the doorway. Vanessa walked in carrying a cardboard box. "He's got you figured out, Mr. Gardner."It held the things I packed up in my room. On top sat a notebook covered in cartoon stickers, with "The Gardner Family Survival Guide" written across the cover.The first page was about Dad.[Medication at 8 p.m. every day. If a meeting goes past 3 hours, confiscate his coffee. Don't try to reason with him. He'll just argue.]The second page was about Mom.[Whe

  • No Longer the Family Clown   Chapter 5

    Delilah stood rooted to the spot. The doctor asked again, "Who's his parent?"Dad stepped forward. "I'm his father.""He called his family for help while he was trapped. Why didn't anyone call 911?" Dad opened his mouth, but nothing came out.Vanessa held out my phone. The call log showed 13 calls to Delilah. In our WhatsApp chat, a single gray tick sat beside my last voice message. She pressed play."Delilah, there's a fire! I'm not messing around."Hearing my voice stripped away every excuse they had.Delilah took the phone, her hands trembling. "He never said he was in the old auditorium. He didn't tell me there was a fire. How was I supposed to know?"Vanessa gave a short, disbelieving laugh. "He called you 13 times. You didn't think to check? That boy takes care of everything for you, and the one time he needs you, you decide he's kidding?"Mason stepped forward, his eyes red. "Look, she didn't know. Sam's always pulling something. We figured this was another stunt.""S

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