Split wood

It has been two weeks since Ally, Blake’s mom, told me that Christopher reached out to Dylan. Since then he has apparently called them every day, soaking in everything he can hear but leaving no information from his side.

I have not been able to piece anything together.

Just three months ago, on his trip to New Zealand, he called me and told me he wanted a divorce. He said he had a few loose ends to deal with, but that I would get the paperwork. To be honest, that conversation felt very formal. Lost for words, I tried to protest, but his abruptness and the finality of it left me simply saying okay. I tried to call him a number of times after that, but it was clear I was not going to reach him.

Since Joce started running, I have been picking myself up again.

Christopher was my dream come true. He was not perfect just as human as any other. We had our fights but I loved him. However, the demands of his work meant we always had to make the most of limited time. He was away often and for long periods. I think that is why the children have not noticed anything yet. They miss him, but they always miss him. Even though his trips away have always been our ‘normal’.

I always imagined Christopher and me side by side eventually. That is how we were when we met, even with our huge age gap.

Christopher was twenty eight when we first met, about ten years ago. I had received a scholarship for a bee programme. I was just a young girl when bees came into my life. Soon I signed up for everything that would allow me, at my age, to join. I saved up enough to buy my own gear and hive. Then I had two, then three. I asked everyone to let me put beehives on their small holdings and farms. I even built hives on street lamp poles. I took part in events that advocated for bees and for good farming practices in general.

One day a woman came up to me and told me she had noticed me. That was the start of one of the most memorable friendships I still have today. Then she asked me a life changing question.

“Would you like to be part of a documentary? We would love to share your story.”

That is how I met my husband. A man fifteen years older than me. At the time he was young himself and did not bat an eye at me. I was only thirteen. But I was in love with him from day one.

Soon I became involved in videography. The documentary went so well that I ended up joining them for the next three years, flirting with Christopher every chance I could get. But he had his pick of women and always told me I should not waste my looks and talent on him.

Eventually I realised maybe I was fighting a losing battle and vowed I would join for one last summer.

Then we landed the documentary of a lifetime. We got brand new gear and fully paid expenses. Christopher could only choose two people to go with him. I burned with everything in me to be asked. To my surprise, he chose me and another young apprentice, Jason, who was a year older than me.

Jason always seemed to be nearby whenever he could be. He asked me out four times in the first month he joined the team. He was gorgeous though. Well built, with light freckles and ginger hair, and daring blue eyes. But I was too hung up on Christopher to give him a chance.

We did a lot of training throughout the winter and spring leading up to the trip. Christopher wanted us to be prepared for anything, to know the equipment well and to be fit. Jason loved it. He looked up to Christopher too, and the two of them became inseparable.