The current behavior of a human being often has to do with what the past made him consume. ”Hortência thought, every time she noticed the emptiness in Rúbia's eyes.From a young age, Rúbia began to act more with her reason than with her heart. However, there was a reason for this attitude. Few stopped to think about him, moreover, he was there, deeply rooted in her, as if manipulating her thoughts and suffocating the qualities and expressions of her heart. And, in this war, it was clear that feelings were slowly losing ground.Losing three loves in a single day is similar to looking at yourself and suddenly realizing that you are missing limbs. That young girl, just seventeen years old, had lost the mobility of all emotions and gained the worst loneliness. What life could give her, from that day on, would be nothing more than prosthetics.Days after the tragedy, upon noticing that the teenager was behaving as if nothing had happened, the family's trusted housekeeper took her to a psyc
The wife was about to become the mother of her first child, which would be enough for her. But the mayor's wish was that this was just the first in a series. During a massage session, in one of the saunas of one of the beautiful Rúbia's favorite hotels, one of her friends asks:“How are you feeling, darling, with this beautiful baby in your womb?”“I feel as if I have just acquired an off-plan project and that I will only be able to get rid of it in about twenty years.” Rúbia responds, showing concern.The friend automatically changes her face, as she is shocked by the way that mother looks at her own baby.“Just kidding...” says Rúbia, realizing that it wasn’t funny and adds “it took me by surprise and it hasn’t sunk in yet, the only feeling I have is that I’ve gained a few kilos in a short period of time.”“You guys never talked about this?” Questions her friend, showing surprise.“Things happened very quickly” he responds, being simplistic.“It should have been a matter between the
One morning, Rúbia was surprised by her own son, who seems to have touched her heart. She herself was surprised by the emotion she felt when she noticed the child moving, in her own womb, in response to the caresses she made instinctively. It was something different, a feeling that came from the inside out.For the first time, after everything she had been through, she began to feel a love unlike any she had ever experienced. Very intense and unique. Providing that beautiful mother with a deep desire to protect herself, because of what was inside her. Giving her a personal reason to live and a chance to feel happiness in life. Later, when she was alone with her housekeeper and confidant, having a snack in the kitchen, as usual, in the early hours of the morning, she said:“Before this,” he comments, stroking his own belly, “I had never felt anything so intense. Now, it's as if I communicate with him and it's as if he came to transform me..." confesses Rúbia, moved and adds "your words
Days, months and years later...The joy and euphoria gradually faded. Pregnancy after pregnancy, miscarriage after miscarriage. The will, gradually, seemed to be overcome by reality.Each sad experience added extra pain to her heart, making it calloused after the apparent scarring.On uncertain days, during sunset, it was common for everyone to witness a tall, Caucasian, bearded man with long, disheveled hair sitting on one of the benches in the beautiful garden inside the family cemetery.In front of him and around him are the pompous epitaphs of all members of his wife's family and one who shares his surname. One of them still has a girl's name, Brenda, and the three most recent ones just have dates of when they were declared dead in the womb and nothing more.In addition to the setting, similar to a paradise, full of life, the tombs conveyed an inanimate, lifeless void. The same pallor and lack of expression was on the face of the man who was present before what was left of the lar
Weeks later...“Each human being is nothing more than the result of the equation involving joys and sadness...” the old housekeeper thinks to herself as she hears that beautiful woman lament once again:“I can't escape myself, this is my structure, this is my being... reality hits me...When I look from my terrace, as soon as I wake up in the morning, I see some peasant women, with a simple life, walking hand in hand with their respective husbands and accompanied by one or more sons and daughters...I can see in their behavior that they chose them because they love them and the children are the fruits of this relationship. As I discreetly watch them from behind the curtains of my castle-like place.I start to question myself why I was born and the choices I made. What is the value of my position and appearance, envied by everyone around me?By the irony of chance... a natural part of life... which is reproduction, am I incapable or, perhaps, unworthy of having?” It reflects the unhapp
Weeks later...In an uproar, the majority of people in the region where the station has coverage began, not only to agree with what the religious fanatic commented, but also to add and spread it to those who did not have the chance to hear it live.It didn't take long and the target of the comments was already feeling the indifference of many people, from the simplest to the most educated, who live with her professionally. Some demonstrated discrimination, prejudice and even disgust at being in its presence or simply moving close to it.This trend was spreading and even those who admired her beauty and elegance began to look at her with contempt and disapproval. The unfortunate woman began to feel as if she had been stricken with a contagious disease or a real curse.About two months later...When Rúbia's car was following one of its usual routes, as part of its routine, it was common for the driver and now even the newly hired security guard to witness women spitting on the ground, m
Days later...A woman walking her dog in the central square meets another woman who was sitting on one of the wooden benches:“Hello, how are you, Marta!?”“Hi... good afternoon, Lídia... Alright... I was even going to stop by the market you work at today, at the end of the afternoon, to do a little shopping... for my sister...”"Which one? The one who is pregnant?” Marta asks, as she knows that her friend has more than one sister.“Yes, the ‘buchudinha’ really... She's very lazy...” reveals Lídia.“Is it fear of leaving the house?” Marta asks, lowering her voice."Like this? Fear of what?" Lídia questions, showing surprise.“Several pregnant women even try to avoid passing where Mrs. Rúbia passes.... I think this is an exaggeration, but there are people spreading the word that it could be bad luck, so many don't want to risk it.... There haven't been any cases of abortion here for a long time ..., but the fear is very great, one of them told me!” Marta says, making an expression of t
Months earlier, after the fifth and final miscarriage, the serene and irresistible doctor had a conversation with her and said:“Rúbia, my dear... Know that I treat you as if you were my own daughter, as I have been responsible for your health since you were born!” He remembers the doctor in a docile and friendly tone, but is interrupted by her.“I trust you with all my heart and I know that today I am well and... healthy, thanks to your dedication, all these years! I never doubt your competence in taking care of me in advance. That’s why I have him as a father, you know?” Sincerely.“And you are my beloved little daughter... Who I would die for, if necessary.” Appeals to the emotional.“There were people who advised me to go to the capital or even outside the country. Many told me to send for one or more doctors to treat me here... However, because I trusted you and, out of respect, I refused to even think about these possibilities!” She admits, excited.After hearing these sincere w