Chapter 53

Noah

My room almost succumbed to darkness, lit only by a flickering lamp that cast weird shadows on the walls. The smell permeating the air was strong, brought by the drops of alcohol spilled all over the floor. Empty bottles were scattered around, a hint of what I had kept myself busy with in my self-confinement. In fact, I had lost count of how many there were and was not sure how many I would keep emptying as I drowned myself in its golden liquid to numb myself.

I'm gripping a bottle, taking sips that don't really change anything. The room spins sometimes, making my head spin too. I'm drinking to stop thinking, but it doesn't work. The taste just reminds me of how messed up things are.

My face feels all scrunched up, like I'm mad at myself. I can't stop replaying what Jeff told me the night he went back to fetch Carrie from Silverfang, my head a broken record. This bottle's supposed to shut my thoughts up, but it doesn't really.

“I’m sorry, Alpha,” Jeff had said, “but Carrie was se