Used to humiliation

With him gone , I wordlessly took a cab just like he had instructed me . Though the kids were now at school , l was still stressed out to hell . I had to do the home chores in time then pick them up from school . " Is it early for a gin ? " , Already exhausted , as soon as I entered in my house , l inwardly asked myself while looking at the gin cabinet .

" I need a coffee" , My subconscious murmured and after making it extra strong , l drank it asap then began to do the home chores . I spent a lot of time washing the kid's clothes and as soon as they were done , l sorted out most of the things , tided up the toys then finally l sat down. " Oh ! My goodness " , Sighing heavily , I pulled out my phone from the purse .

As soon as I switched it on , a message i'mmediately popped up on my phone .

BELLA :

" Why do you hate me so much Alexa , you still young to act like that , come over and visit me " , l shook my head when I read the message . It was my friend Bella . Per now she was more than a friend because she knew most of my secrets . She knew how complicated my life was . At a very young age , I had three kids , a husband who no longer loved me and a mother who didn't want me to show the world that she was the one who gave birth to me . I sadly didn't even know my father .

" I will come only if Mark accepts me " , I typed back then threw the phone down on the bed . Since I fell in love with Mark , getting time to have fun was cancelled in my real life budget . Kids weren't my problem but ever since l met Mark , my life worsened . Even when I was still eighteen years old , he was possessive , aggressive and toxic . There was no real love but since he was more older than me , l fearfully respected him and obeyed him .

" Dammit " , After glancing down at my watch , l groaned out . it was time to pick up the kids and l didn't want to worry them . Though already tired , l stood up then made my way to my car . Though l worked like a house maid , they were my children and l loved them so much . After picking them up , l prepared their tea and snacks on the table then sat down next to Ivan my little boy .

As usual lvan and Chrissy ended up on the steps throwing their food and toys everywhere . Jessica ate a little , gave me a quick peck then made her way upstairs to her room . She spent most of her time in her bedroom doing makeup videos . " Mummy l do want sweets " , Ivan cried .

" Am gonna get you two , okay ? " , I uttered out and all smiled while nodding their heads . " Even today , you going to take wine or alot of chocolate " , Just as I had just settled down , Jessica blurted out while sitting next to me . Hearing her say that , I turned and sadly smiled at her .

She knew it , she knew how complicated my life was . Mark refused me to take chocolate , he told me that l will lose the nice figure but then l already lost it . Ever since l gave birth to Chrissy , l lost my potable sized up figure . Though l lost it , it wasn't that l was big and ugly . I was still lucky because with the hair of my mum , l was still beautiful , have hips and ass but my belly wasn't flat as before .

" Am ain't going to take it , this time " , l murmured while rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder . " Then have a good night mum " , She spoke, gave me a peck then walked away . With her gone , l quickly got Chrissy and Ivan in their beds . With that done , l finally sat down again on the sofa then looked around ,. The room was again all filled up with toys .

With Ivan and. Chrissy , I know it that toys will be non stop but still Mark gets pissed off whenever he finds them in the room . After collecting them , l stepped in the shower , washed myself quickly then lastly fall down on the bed . As usual l didn't i'mmediately fall asleep . Right l was exhausted but l kept my eyes on the clock . It was already 12:00am but still Mark was no where to be seen . He told me not to wait for him but l wanted to see the time he was going to come back . I glanced at the clock for a pretty good time until when the sleep unfortunately claimed me .

It was so late in the night , when l lastly felt the bed sink beside me . He was back but he smelled beer and perfume . With the strong perfume , I felt tears prick in my eyes but l didn't let them fall down . This was my life now , l was used to this humiliation .