“When you are ready to talk about what that means to you, then maybe I will be ready too.“To talk about what we mean to each other and why you think we must stay together to be attracted to one another.”I'm not saying we have to be attracted to one another. “I'm just trying to activate…” He says, and I stop him from speaking.Activate, whatever! I really don't care what word you use to put it in. It is the same thing that you think you even gave a right to. It may not matter to you because you're a guy or maybe it's a guy code or whatsoever but I really do value myself. “It may not seem so because I've tried to kill myself on many occasions, but I love myself so much that I will not watch myself.”“Go, hop and jump around life alone doing god knows what just to survive.” “So, I'm just going to say to you I do not trust this thing that you think is going to set me apart from others.”“Yes, even after all of these they have shown me I don't know what to believe.” I say to him and I
So, after listening to their conversation for about a minute, I can see that there is silence between the both of them and at this point, they're both waiting for the next person to say the wrong thing. And neither of them wants to be the one who's bold enough to put what they feel in their mind out there. I believe it is time they deserve privacy and I should have given it since the very beginning of their conversation. In fact, it feels like Elena hates me and has been pretending. I simply cannot blame her for pretending to like me. I mean, I don't even know myself enough to like myself. So, hoping that someone else is able to manage my presence here is unbelievable. I can understand it. I've come here and I've stolen what used to be a hers and honestly it is an impeccable thought. How could I think so? I wonder to myself. Am I really capable of taking something that belongs to someone else? Especially when all the things I've ever wanted has never come to me? It is such
I have been in my room throughout the entire time after the conversation/witness.Honestly, everything that happens is just like some kind of drama. And today's a new episode, and I've decided not to go to school. So, as I listened to it, it's just that I don't have the strength to actually take myself to school once again, and be part of the bullies and Max stone and everything surrounding being the high school student. Of course, I didn't miss it sometimes, but I've just realized the disadvantages that actually come with school, when it is actually tiring to have to be strong every single day. What unfolded between Dane and Elena today is nothing more than a horrible eyesore to me, honestly. She can tell swiftly that doesn't want to have anything to do with her. And if anybody did have something to do with each other, it is past. I hate to be the one to break it, but it's not as if I have such a shot at being in his life. I'm just something he met at the way and stuck. I don't
My heart started racing immediately the moment I remember what happened. I open my eyes and I try to move my fingers immediately to remember, if I can feel myself. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. It is such an insane amount of pressure, electricity and power, it came right through and still thinking that you're not able to stop yourself.I against everyone that comes in my way but then I was saved and rescued by someone who I definitely hated. He is someone that definitely makes me question my defenses and I do not even know how to talk myself out of what I'm feeling right now. I thought I had nothing to do with him anymore. I thought this was the end of our story, especially when I told him that everything he said was false. All he said about being attracted and being able to call upon my wolf. I told him it was all lies, but it turns out it wasn't, there is something magnetic about that brings me towards him and I have gotten the better idea of that b
Are you okay? This is the first thing on my mind as Dane walks into the room, and he looks at me for a very good time. I wonder what he is about to say to me but then, he says nothing immediately. He is not going to shout at me and tell me that I have done messed up. I should have stayed inside and controlled myself and any of that but when I remember the way he came towards me and helped me.I realize that he's not hold bad as I think he is. I want to think of him in the worst way possible. I truly do want to but every single time he finds a way to make me feel different about what I set my mind upon. It makes me look back and just see the good in him and so, he steps into the room. I look at him and he smiles at me.How do you feel? He says and I'm so shocked by the fact that he's smiling at me. I don't even know what to say in this moment. I'm just truly shocked about the whole thing and I have nothing else to do than to watch him. Watch me! I'm perfectly fine. I say to him e
Why is it that you feel suffocated? Dane says to me, and I let go to folk to look at him.“I don't even know how to reply to that question because my whole existence has been suffocation.” I've been suffocated by everything and everyone at every single area of my life.It has been nothing new. “It has been nothing different and neither will it be by this time.” I want to answer that question and tell him…obviously.I do not even have the strength to make him not see through me. I am obviously going through something tremendous and I don’t need words to let someone else see it. Instead, I nod my head and I agree with him, it is what I'm going through. I’m stupid for asking! “Of course, I know what you are thinking about.” Dame says.I nod my head so that he cannot know how it feels. It's not some kind of thing that everyone is able to understand. I wouldn't even wish it on my enemy. “That is how bad it has gotten.” I think to myself and push the plate aside because at this point I
I exit Dane’s car after he drops me at Georgina's and I take a second look at him before he leaves in his car. I will not lie in my heart did skip a bit by that mutual contact that happened between the both of us. And since then I have not fully recovered. I don't just know what it is between the both of us, is is a real relationship that we have. And there's just nothing at this point in this time of my life that I can use to explain what it means to either of us. I mean, I think about it and it's amazing. But then there are times when there is nothing romantic about being in each other's presence and I just want to understand that I am fully incapable of controlling my own feelings when it comes to him. He just like ignites some kind of fire in me that was never fully working. And when that happens I'm just stuck looking around and hoping that he would make the next move.The door opens and Georgina sees me as she gives me a hug. She closes the door behind her, we have so much t
After an hour of nap, I feel like I am able to go downstairs and grab another bit of snack. I close the fridge in frustration, there is a slight sigh on my face as I look at the watch. It seem that there is still time at least I have about eight more hours before I go back home and have to face Dane again. For Dane, I have to say whatever I can say to him.How would I meet him and expose myself? What would it be like to be with him? How would it be to allow his lips and his tongue caress every part of my body. I mean will he doing this out of obligation? I ask myself, and I've never really known the answer. I mean, I wish I knew the answer. But then I'm so lost in the details of what it would mean for him to touch me like a man touches a woman. Just like Gina said, I'm supposed to pretend and behave like this is nothing. I'm supposed to do it out of duty, only for the fact that I want to find out who I truly am. I'm not supposed to treat it with concern. I know myself and I will