Chapter 1: Hopefully Mated

Eighteenth birthdays aren’t supposed to be a shitshow. But in my case, it fucking was.

            In our werewolf country, it has always been winter. But somehow, we learned to live with the cold. It started ever since the Alpha King sat on his throne. Every Alpha King in every generation, they are free to choose which season will rule for the rest of their reign. Winter was what the current Alpha King chose. Cold, lifeless, pale. I’m not surprised.

            Today, I just met my wolf, Mara. She’s a fierce white wolf with turquoise eyes ringed with gold. Though I’m happy I met her, I cannot feel any more than this feeling of happiness other than an obligation as an Alpha’s youngest daughter.

“Give a round of applause to my little princess, everyone!” Everybody in the pack looked up at me with smiles and awe as soon as my father brought me to his little stage.

            “Happy eighteenth birthday, Evadne!” Every single one of them hurled their birthday greetings at me. I should feel happy. I should feel thankful.

            But deep down, I still feel lost. I feel like some pig to be slaughtered at her own birthday party.

“Smile,” my father, Alpha Marcus of the Moonflame Pack, ordered. I did right away.

My father never smiled at me throughout the night. Not even once. These are all just a part of his duty as an Alpha. He's just compelled to do all of this. He never did anything with a heart when it concerned me.

He may sound gentle to everyone else, but he was never gentle to me.

“You’re a useless piece of shit!” I can still remember his words last night, echoing in every inch of my mind and every fiber of my soul. The sound of his whip cracking in the air and landing on my back and the back of my thighs was an excruciating pain that I taste every time he’s drunk. Even when he was not drunk, I still did.

“Be useful tomorrow and dress nicely. Be like your sister, Evadne. Be like Elodie tomorrow.” He still dared to gulp a glass of whiskey even when he was holding the silver-tipped whip on his other hand. “You know what happens when you disobey and displease me, don't you?” He caressed my hair, ignoring my whimpering. The relentless streaming of my raging tears made me just bite my lip and nod submissively.

            “Yes, fa—I mean yes, Alpha.”

Evadne, the petite Princess of the Moonflame Pack. That’s his mocking nickname to me. Even my elder sister, Elodie, calls me that ridiculous nickname.

I rubbed both of my hands to warm my palms. I held up my chin high and smoothened the skirt of my bluish silver dress when everyone clapped. In the moonlight, I look as if the moon herself came down and beamed at everyone.

            My birthday venue was a glittering winter wonderland. The tables themselves are made from ice, white or silver is the common motif and what was worn by most of the pack.

I was shining, as beautiful as the Moon Goddess’ face. My friends always tell me that I'm lucky to have everything. If only they knew what happens behind closed doors. If only they bear witness to my day-to-day suffering or the still-fresh wounds etched in my moon-white skin, covered by thick layers of fabric to hide from everyone’s sight. Alpha Marcus made sure of that.

A long-sleeve dress that reaches the floor was my armor tonight, my head and my hands are the only ones that aren’t covered in this shimmering dress. A perfect unbroken doll to be displayed, that's what I was tonight.

            Whereas my sister, Elodie...she was wearing a sleeveless metallic red knee-length dress with an exposed back and front. Her cleavage could slap anyone who dared stare at it for too long.

            Though both of us knew I was always the more beautiful and sexier one, my father and sister made sure that no one knew that.

I was suffocated in this dress while Elodie, on the other hand, could breathe freely in her provocative attire. I think that my father made sure I would never be able to move with carefree tonight by letting me wear this birthday mess of a dress.

I can understand why my family hates me, but I don’t understand why they have to hate me every single fucking minute. My mother died when she gave birth to me. And since then, they blamed me. Perhaps it was the Fate Goddess who decided to take my mother as early as that age. But no, my sister and father never think of that. They just see me as the sole one to be blamed for her death.

Sometimes, I think they just fucking hate me and my mother’s death is just their excuse to hate me more. Like I’m just disposable anytime and worthless all the time because of something I unknowingly did.

Even when I’m celebrating a birthday, I still feel empty and hollow.

And I guess that no matter how many birthdays I celebrated, I have to live with this pain and burden for the rest of my life.

***

The round of greetings to pack elders, Betas, and other pack officials has finally ended.

And here I am, back to my lonely self. Back to my castle of solitude.

I scanned the faces of my pack as I dined and drink, and then ate again. I’m growing bored, yes. But then something—someone caught my attention.

There, in a far corner next to a dancing female couple, a striking male with snowy hair and blue eyes caught me staring. At first, I was just gazing at nothing. But then he becomes the sight to behold. He was handsome. His face doesn’t look pale though. It was a perfect shade of brown, like he bathed under the summer sun enough before the whole country become eternally winter.

He stares back at me, but he was too far for me to make of his expressions. I tilted my head to the side. He did the same.

“Evadne...This is Mara.” I stood up straight immediately when my wolf whispered to me. I tore my eyes away from the male.

            “Our mate is near,” her voice was full of excitement. “Let us look for him.”

I walked from my seat and found myself looking for someone I did not know amid the sea of laughter and dancing. Nevertheless, I kept walking and walking and walking.

“Keep searching!” Mara exclaimed. Five minutes have passed and my feet are on the verge of giving up. “Evadne, he is near. He is here—”

A pair of green eyes met my blue eyes. Everything, even the ones around us, seems to freeze. Time stopped itself. It was only me and him at this very moment. But what amazed me more was the owner of those eyes. My mate.

My mate, the first person who will finally love me truly.

            Our eyes kept on gazing at each other's souls. None of us dare to break that stare.

            He was handsome in his plain white shirt and ripped jeans. His black ruffled hair, as if a woman held on tight on it while having sex, turned me on.

            Mara was howling, jumping in all the corners of my mind.

“Mate,” I whispered—more like gasped—as he stopped where the moonlight struck his face, making him look more ethereal.

He stepped one foot forward as if to get closer to me. But Alpha Gregor of the Fireheart Pack froze mid-step upon inhaling my scent. His face was kind and tame, his eyes were curious as they studied me.

            My dream of finding a worthy mate and escaping this living hell is over. I knew it the moment my mate approached with a polite smile on his face.

            “Mate,” he breathed.

For the first time in eighteen years, seeing my mate in person finally brought genuine joy to my lonely heart.