CHAPTER 4: Nickname

Lareina could not ignore it any longer. Sean had been unusually quiet the entire afternoon. Ever since Darren had gone home, nearly thirty minutes ago, Sean had not said a single word. It was unsettling. This was not like him at all. Sean was naturally talkative, always filling silences with stories, jokes, or random thoughts. His quietness was not just odd. It was alarming.

Lareina sat behind him on the bicycle as Sean pedaled them home, the familiar sound of the tires on pavement filling the space where his voice should have been. She could feel the tension in his shoulders, the stiffness in the way he pedaled. She knew this mood. The last time she saw him like this was when another boy had asked her out right in front of him, and even then, he had not been this withdrawn.

Growing increasingly frustrated, Lareina finally reached forward and tugged lightly on the hem of his polo.

“Sean?” She called softly, hoping to break his silence.

“Hmm?” Sean responded curtly, his gaze still locked on the road ahead.

Lareina frowned at his dismissiveness. “Is something wrong? You’re not being yourself, and I hate it. You’re keeping something from me, and that’s not fair. You always say we shouldn’t keep secrets, yet here you are, shutting me out.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Sean muttered, brushing off her concern, though the stiffness in his voice only deepened Lareina’s irritation.

“I don’t believe you!” She snapped, her voice trembling with frustration. “Something is wrong, and you’re hiding it from me. What am I to you, Sean? We’ve been best friends since we were kids, but you still can’t open up to me? Am I really that untrustworthy to you? You always demand that I share my problems with you, but when it’s your turn, you shut me out! That’s not fair!”

Her voice cracked, and before she could stop herself, tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lip, embarrassed, but her feelings were too overwhelming to hide.

Sean heard the slight sob in her voice, and that was enough to jolt him into action. He immediately pulled the bike to the side of the road and brought it to a halt. Without waiting for him, Lareina swung her leg over and stepped off, storming away with brisk, angry steps.

Panic flared in Sean’s chest.

“Lareina, wait!” he called, abandoning the bike and running after her. He caught up and grabbed her wrist, halting her.

“What now?” she hissed, yanking her arm but not quite succeeding in breaking free. “I’m just your unreliable best friend, right? So let go!”

Sean silently cursed himself. He had made her cry — all because of his jealousy, his insecurities that he was too proud to admit. But seeing her tears broke something inside him.

“I’m sorry,” He said quickly, his voice low. “I was just... I was just thinking about something.”

“Then tell me!” she shot back, glaring at him through teary eyes. “Why can’t you just tell me? What is it?”

Sean looked away, his pride warring with his guilt. “It’s not easy to say,” he muttered. “But fine... It’s a favor. I was going to ask you for a favor.”

Lareina blinked, her anger softening a little. “What favor?”

Sean hesitated, then sighed, his hand loosening around her wrist. With a gentle touch, he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. He had no idea that part of her tears was exaggerated, a desperate tactic to get him to finally talk.

“Can you... Stop being so friendly with Yvo?” Sean asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t trust him.”

Lareina stared at him in disbelief. “What? That’s what this is about? Seriously, Sean? You seemed fine with him before! Why are you acting like this now?”

Because I can’t stand seeing you grow closer to him, Sean thought bitterly.

“Just trust me,” Sean said, his tone pleading. “It’s better if you keep your distance. He’s cold, aloof, and I just don’t think he’s good for you. I don’t want to see you hanging around him anymore.”

Lareina frowned deeply, disappointment flashing in her eyes. She had never heard Sean badmouth anyone like this before, especially not someone she had grown to consider a friend.

“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head. “Yvo isn’t cold, Sean. He’s introverted, sure, but once you get to know him, he’s thoughtful and funny. He’s talented, he plays sports, and he’s amazing at dancing. He’s not a bad person. And I don’t want to avoid him just because you say so. Please, Sean... don’t make me choose between the two of you.”

Sean exhaled heavily, feeling the sting of her words. He had expected this — that she would defend Yvo. That was exactly why he had kept his feelings bottled up, but it only led to this mess. He could hear the fondness in her voice when she spoke about Yvo, the admiration she tried to hide but could not fully suppress.

Trying to pull them apart would only push Lareina further away, and that was something Sean could not afford. He had already felt invisible; losing her altogether would break him.

“Figures,” He whispered under his breath. “Forget it. I’m sorry for being like this.”

He turned back toward his bike and grabbed the handlebars. “We’re almost home. Want to walk the rest of the way?”

“Fine,” Lareina muttered, stepping in front of him to block his path. She cupped his face with her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze.

Sean froze, the warmth of her palms on his cheeks making his heart pound in his chest. Her eyes, round with concern and frustration, searched his expression for answers.

“You’re not yourself, Sean,” she whispered. “My best friend is cheerful, playful, and loud. This version of you... It isn’t you. This isn’t just about Yvo, is it? What’s bothering you?”

For a moment, Sean could not speak. Slowly, his hand lifted to rest on hers, his thumb tracing her knuckles gently. He looked away, his pride crumbling bit by bit, and then finally admitted, “I’m jealous. I feel like... he’s going to take you away from me.”

Lareina’s eyes softened. A chuckle escaped her lips, light and warm. “You idiot,” she said fondly. “Yvo isn’t going to take me away. You’re my best friend forever, Sean. Nothing’s going to change that. You don’t need to be jealous.”

Sean gave her a weak smile. “Yeah... best friend forever.”

She seemed satisfied with that answer, but inside, Sean’s heart ached. He wanted to believe her, to hold on to those words. Yet, a painful part of him knew that no matter how much he wished otherwise, she still only saw him as a friend. Never as the man who loved her. This truth clung to Sean’s heart like a shadow he could not shake. No matter how close they were, no matter how many memories they shared or how deeply he cared for her, in her eyes, he was always just the best friend. The confidant. The companion she could laugh with, cry to, and rely on, but never the one she could fall for.

“Let’s go.” He said, his voice quieter now. It was a cruel place to stand, watching her light shine so brightly while knowing that none of it was ever meant for him. He could only love her silently, from a distance, trapped within the boundary of friendship she had unknowingly drawn between them. And each time she smiled at another boy, every time her eyes lit up with admiration for someone else, it felt like another brick was being laid on the wall that separated them. An unbreakable wall, Sean feared he would never have the courage to bring down.

Lareina nodded and walked beside him. She continued chatting about her day, her stories filling the quiet streets with life again, but Sean only half-listened. His thoughts were heavy, his heart heavier. He wanted to scream, to confess everything, to tell her that every laugh he shared, every little favor he did, every stupid joke was all because he was hopelessly, maddeningly in love with her. But the fear of losing her, of seeing her walk away and never looking back, kept his confession locked away in the deepest part of his soul.

So, he stayed by her side, pretending to be content. Wearing the mask of the happy best friend, even though inside, he was aching. Because to her, he would always be Sean, her childhood friend, her partner in crime, her safe place, but never the man who loved her with everything he had.

When they finally reached Lareina’s house, she waved goodbye and disappeared inside. Sean watched her door for a moment longer, then turned and walked home, pushing his bike along with him.

At home, he parked the bike in the garage and stepped inside. The familiar scent of fabric softener and his mother’s cooking greeted him.

“I’m home, Ma,” he called, his voice subdued.

His mother, sitting on the couch sewing a loose button, looked up. Her eyes narrowed with concern. “Hmm... something’s off with you. Come here.”

Sean obeyed, and she wrapped him in a warm hug. He sighed, letting himself rest against her shoulder.

“No matter what it is, you can always tell us, okay?” she murmured.

“I’m fine, Ma,” Sean replied, trying to sound upbeat. “I can handle it. You know me.”

But his mother was not fooled. She patted his back gently. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me yet. Just promise me one thing, Sean — promise me you’ll be happy. That’s all I want.”

“Yes, Ma. Love you both,” he muttered, pulling away.

As he turned to leave, she called after him, a playful glint in her eyes. “Sean! What’s that nickname your friend gave you again? The one I like?”

Sean chuckled, knowing exactly what she meant. “Daytoy, Ma.”

She smiled brightly. “And what does it mean?”

“Always be happy every day.”

“Good. Don’t ever forget that, dear. Now go wash up. I’ll start cooking. Your dad will be home soon.”

“Okay, Ma,” Sean replied. She blew him a kiss, and he pretended to catch it, making her laugh.

But as he headed to his room, the weight in his heart remained. He was not sure when or if he could ever tell Lareina how he truly felt. For now, he would keep pretending to be just her best friend.