“And you’ve been busy. You look tired.” He reached across the table and brushed the pad of his thumb gently across the bluish tint to the skin beneath her eyes.
She flinched, breaking the tenuous contact almost as soon as it had begun. “It’s all good. It’s what I want.”Ah, here it came. Her not-so-subtle wall of defense. “But everyone needs some respite in their life from time to time. Tell me, cara mia, what do you do to unwind—to relax?” “I’ve just come back from holiday, Draco. I don’t need to relax.” He snorted inelegantly. “Holiday? Blair, you worked your way through that culinary tour. You can hardly call that a holiday. Except for—” “Ah, here’s our port.” Blair interrupted him again, taking the two cut-crystal glasses from the silver tray Gustav held in one hand and dismissing him with a look. “Here, salute!” Draco accepted the glass from her and set it down on the table in front of him. He could see straight through her. She thought if she could get him to drink his port, their conversation would be over, and he’d be gone. How wrong she was. When he left here tonight, she would be with him. Willingly. He played with the stem of the glass, admiring the quality of the crystal. She didn’t stint on anything here in the restaurant. From the fittings and furnishings to the tableware and service—it was all of the highest quality. Yes, Blair Carson took her passions seriously. And he liked that about her. A lot. She took a sip of her port, the fortified liquid leaving a sheen on her lips. His fingers tightened reflexively as the tip of her tongue swept across her lips to remove the residual alcohol. He ached for her to take another sip, so he could lean forward and taste the port on her lips, on her tongue. Her next words came as a surprise.“What do you want from me Draco? What will it take to make you go away?” He leaned back in his seat, shifting his hips slightly to ease the ache that had built low in his groin. “What makes you think I will go away?” She shook her head. “We both know your business demands will take you home soon. Already you’ve been here, what, a week? I imagine you’ll need to be leaving soon, I just want to know what I can do to make it sooner.” “Come home with me.” “To the palazzo? You have to be joking.” Ultimately, yes, that was his goal. To have her back where she belonged, with him. But in the meantime he would be satisfied with small victories. “Tonight. To my apartment.” He leaned forward again and lifted her hand with his, dragging her fingertips gently across his lips. He felt the shudder of awareness course through her. The fire between them still burned bright and fierce. “Just tonight?” her voice shook ever so slightly. “And then you’ll leave me alone?” It was a start. He inclined his head. “I’ve missed you, Blair. Let me show you how much.” “I—I don’t know.” “I’m not a man to beg, cara mia, but I beg of you now. You cannot fight this thing between us. Even you have to admit what we have is something rare, something special. Not even with your Rhys did you share this, no?” Her fingers flexed in his and he knew he had her. For tonight at least. “All right. Tonight only. I’ll need to get a few things.”“Certainly. Bring as much as you want. Stay longer.” She withdrew her hand from his clasp. “No. It will only be tonight. Give me your address and I’ll bring my car.” “That won’t be necessary. I have a car and driver at my disposal. Where do we go to pick up your things.” Draco was on his feet and helping Blair to hers before she could rethink things and change her mind. “Upstairs, I have a couple of rooms upstairs. The stairs are around the back through the kitchen.” “Then I shall wait for you here.” He leaned forward and brushed the lightest touch of his lips against hers. He knew he shouldn’t have done it the second he felt her breath against his lips.What was supposed to have been a simple caress sent a flare of heat through his body, and instead of withdrawing from her, as he’d planned, his hand snaked up the slender column of her neck, his fingers tangling in the short strands of her hair so he could angle her head better to plunder the softness of her mouth. Her lips parted with a soft moan, her tongue darting to meet his. The taste of her was intoxicating, sending his blood to thrum through his body with a pagan beat. It had been like this the first time he’d touched her. This all-consuming need to have more of her. To take what she had to offer and give back threefold in return. He’d never known such consuming passion, not even with Marcella. The thought was both sobering and enticing at the same time. Blair’s uninhibited response gave him all the answer he needed. He’d been right to pursue her, right to bide his time before making his move. She was as affected by their magnetism as he. Being here each night and not contacting her, not touching her, had been a master plan. As calculated as it sounded, it had been the only way to show her that this thing between them couldn’t be ignored, but was there to be indulged in. Dio! He couldn’t get enough of her. He nipped lightly at her lower lip, suckling against the pliant tissue, absorbing the tiny sound of pleasure thatemanated from deep in her throat. The clatter of cutlery on bowls brought him suddenly to his senses and he pulled back, his fingers stroking the satin softness of her neck one last time before he forced himself to let her go. “Hurry. I don’t want to waste a moment,” he said, his voice pitched low so only Blair could hear him. For a second she wavered, as if slightly off balance. Truth be told, he felt much the same way. But then, with a slight nod, she walked away from him, her steps brisk and to the point.EPILOGUE Deacon Getting Carys to fully believe in me didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped. And there was no formal discussion or announcement when things had finally crossed the barrier of trust. Our being back together happened slowly and organically. I spent every day for months showing her I wasn’t going anywhere, and taking the time to learn how to be a good partner to her and a father to Sunny. Because I’d put in the work, I finally reaped the rewards.In the five years since Carys entered my life, I’d learned many things, including the following, in no particular order.One: You can’t prove yourself with words, only actions.Two: You can’t choose who you love. It never mattered what I told myself about not getting into a relationship with Carys. From the moment we connected, I was destined to lose the battle with my brain.Three: Full freedom can’t be achieved until you forgive yourself. I finally so
CarysNAUGHTY GIRL The months since Deacon’s return had reminded me a lot of the early days of our relationship. He was there when I needed him but didn’t cross any boundaries. I knew he was being careful not to make assumptions about my readiness to let him back into my life.It all felt a little like déjà vu because Deacon had reverted back to being a good friend I desperately wanted to have sex with. But I hadn’t let myself go there yet. I kept waiting to feel a hundred-percent sure he would never hurt me again. But is it ever possible to be absolutely certain?One Saturday afternoon, Sharon called to tell me she had the day free if I wanted her to come spend a few hours with Sunny. She said she figured I might appreciate some time to myself. Never one to refuse unexpected help, I thanked her and said I would love to take her up on that.She arrived about an hour later. As I kissed Sunny goodbye and headed out the door, I re
DeaconHOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? You’ve heard the saying that life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon? Well, earning Carys’s trust back was more like a slow wade through an ocean. But it was worth it, even if not getting to reach out and touch her was downright painful. A month-and-a-half after I returned to New York, my relationship with Carys was slowly improving.One afternoon, as we sat in her living room drinking the coffees I’d brought over, I presented her with something I’d made back in Minnesota.I took it out of the small bag. “I forgot to give this to you. It’s for Sunny. I made it while I was home.”Carys smiled as she examined the pink hat. “You crocheted this?”“Yup. My grandmother was trying to get me out of her house, where I stayed half the time. She wanted to invite dirty old men over without my being there, but that’s a story for another day.” I laughed. “Anyway, she commissioned me to help her make hats
CarysJUST COFFEE Despite saying he’d give me time to ready myself, Deacon texted me a few days later to ask if I would be willing to meet him during my lunch break on one of the days I worked in the office. I said yes. We needed to have the conversation away from Sunny.I chose Friday, but instead of a lunch meet-up, I opted to have the sitter stay late so I could meet Deacon after work. I didn’t know how I’d feel after our talk, or how long the meeting would last, so I didn’t want to have to go back to the office.Deacon was waiting in a corner seat at Starbucks when I arrived. It was my first time in here since before he’d left for Minnesota. He looked painfully handsome, dressed in all black. He fidgeted with his hands as his eyes wandered the room. His mouth curved into a hesitant smile when he spotted me. He stood.When I approached, I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, whether to hug me or not. He leaned in and gave m
CarysTHE TEXT This was a huge day. It would be the first time I let Charles see Sunny without me being there, too. The plan seemed innocent enough. He’d brought his kids to my apartment, and they would be hanging out for a couple of hours.Talia and Xavier had recently met Sunny for the first time. Today was their third visit. The kids had really taken to her, and Sunny liked them. Allowing them to meet seemed to be one of the rare good decisions I’d made this past year.So with Sunny occupied by Charles and his kids, I was off to run a couple of errands and take a breather. I had mixed feelings about leaving her alone with them, but Charles had earned back a bit of my trust in the past few months. While I wouldn’t trust him with my heart again, I knew he was a responsible father to his two other kids. I had no reason to fear for Sunny’s safety while in his care.And also? Mama needed a breather. I mainly had a babysitter for
DeaconHINDSIGHT IS TWENTY-TWENTY Since arriving in Minnesota, I’d avoided being alone with my father. I’d gone over to my parents’ for dinner but left before Dad had a chance to corner me. He hadn’t said anything hurtful yet, but I dreaded encountering the version of him I remembered—the one who did nothing but criticize me. I didn’t need him making me feel inadequate when I already felt pretty damn shitty since leaving Carys the way I did.It appeared I could only hide for so long, though. I was shoveling snow outside my grandmother’s house one day when I looked up to see my Dad’s red truck.Sticking the shovel into the snow, I leaned on it as I watched him approach. He reached over to brush some snow off my coat, and I felt my eyes widen. It was rare my father touched me. Aside from the brief hug I’d given him when I first arrived here, there had been no other contact—no handshakes or pats on the back.I stepped back. “What’