The unexpected Realisation

~DAHLIA

Life outside the Pack wasn't easy.

It had been two weeks since I left, two weeks since I lied to the one person who had always been nice to me. Since I told my grandfather that all I wanted was a vacation, when in truth, I had been running.

Two weeks of hell.

In that short period of time, I had gone through a lot. The first reality check was that I would have to feed myself. Back at the Pack house, I had been hated.

But at least I had my three square meals.

Another slap in the face was accomodation. When I took my shame and ran away, I had taken all of my life savings with me.

But the more houses I saw for sale or for rent, the more inadequate I felt. I could not afford any of them.

And my horror grew as days passed in a hazy, painful blur.

“I'm sorry, but this is the last house we have left. And the cheapest. I don't know what you are looking for, but there is no other house cheaper than this. And this is peanuts,” the house agent said, her voice hard and filled with exasperation.

She was obviously no longer willing to treat me like an esteemed customer looking for a house, seeing how annoyed she was at the moment.

I didn't blame her though. I had been dragging her around for days. Still, I didn't have enough money to stay here, even if it was the most terrible house I had ever seen.

It was smelly, and there was mold in the walls. Tears sprang into my eyes, but I blinked it away.

I couldn't afford a mouldy house.

The agent shook her head at me. “Look, I don't know what your story is, but you obviously do not belong here. You don't have any money, and from the looks of it, you've been sleeping in alleys for days now. Just…go back home, okay? Go home and apologize to your parents. I'm sure they will take you back.”

A surprised, bitter laugh slipped past my lips.

There was pity in her eyes, and even though I knew she was trying to make me feel better, it only made me feel shitty.

I smiled at her and held her gaze. “I'll take the house,” I stated.

She raised her eyebrows at me. “Really? And how will you be paying the rent?”

I shrugged. “I'll…figure something out. I'll find a job. Just…I'll take it and give you all the money I have right now. And whatever is left, I'll pay it back to you gradually.”

The house agent and presumably my soon to be landlord, folded her arms across her chest.

“And why should I believe you? What if you run away before paying me the rest of the money?”

My voice cracked as I responded. “I won't. I have no where else to go.”

She narrowed her eyes at me for a long moment before she accepted.

Within a few moments, I had handed the woman all of my money, small as it was. Then she handed me the house keys and walked out, muttering under her breathe.

Left alone, I looked around. The house was very small. It had a tiny bedroom and the living room I was standing in. The toilet was disgusting, and there was no kitchen.

Bile rose in my throat as I took it in.

This was where life had taken me. Into a smelly, mouldy house. If my adoptive grandfather could see me now, he would surely be disappointed.

But I had no other choice. I couldn't go back to the Pack, not after everything that had happened.

This was my new home now.

~~

I hated my life.

Every single time I inhaled, I felt a deep surge of helplessness and anger at myself.

And the fact that I was sleeping on the bare floor of the smelly house because I couldn't afford a bed, only made me feel worse.

Everyday, I woke up with pity in my heart and went to sleep with disgust.

I missed the Pack house. I missed my adoptive grandfather so desperately that there was a constant ache in my chest.

I missed Zayden too, even though my feelings for him had turned me into a hopeless fool who got her heart broken. But most importantly, I missed the stability of the Pack house. There was good food. I had a room of my own. A soft bed.

And even though everyone loathed me, my grandfather did not. And that was often enough for me.

Or at least, it used to be enough.

Maybe I made a mistake by leaving. Maybe I should have stayed. Even if I hadn't ended up with Zayden, my life would not be as depressing as it was now.

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about it. Was it too late for me to go back? I was sick of the cramping hunger in my belly, sick of not having enough to eat. Sick of being turned away from every job I applied to.

Maybe going back wouldn't be such a bad idea. But before I had to come to a conclusion, there was something I needed to do first.

I wiped my tears away and walked into my tiny, dingy bathroom. The pregnancy kit I had gone over to the pharmacy to purchase shook in my hand, and I had to take several deep breaths to calm down.

There was no way I could be pregnant. But I hadn't seen my period in about a week, and this was just a…precaution.

Closing my eyes, I did what I had to do.

My heart hammered loudly against my chest as I pried my eyes open.

And as my eyes fell on the pregnancy stick, a loud gasp slipped past my lips.

Panic slammed into me like a wave.

No.

No no no no no.

This…this could not be real. Maybe I was seeing things. With my heart thudding loudly against my chest, I closed my eyes and opened it again.

But the colour on the stick didn't change. It remained the same, glaring back at me.

My legs gave out on me. I slid to the floor, a band of lead wrapped around my chest as I struggled to breathe.

I was pregnant.