Guilt

Elena POV

"El! El! ELENA! Please just stop for one second." Nate pleaded.

He was a tall boy with sandy hair and green eyes. He was built of Alpha blood, so he was tall with a muscular body given from birth. He always had kind eyes though. Most Alpha's radiate power making them self-absorbed and cocky. Nate had Alpha blood, but was raised to be a Beta.

He shared the same father as the future Alpha, his half-brother Damien, of the Blood Moon pack. Their father, Alpha Edward, was a ruthless leader. Their pack lived by strict military order. Alpha Edward took a chosen mate, but didn't let her mark him so he could keep his forced mistress. He had a son with each woman and decided it would be best to raise his bastard child, Nate, as the future Beta.

"Fuck off Nate!" I spat back as I continued to run to my house. It was a four-story grey stone mansion used as both my home and pack house. It was a house, but built to resemble a castle.

"Come on El! Just stop one second and tell me what's going on. I'm your best friend for fuck's sake?"

I froze at his words. "Best friend! Are you kidding me? I'm a fool and you did nothing but make sure of that."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Just tell me what I did, please."

Before I could respond Serenity came running towards us. "Holy shit bitch, you scared the fuck out of me. Don't ever do that again."

I turned to her with a tear-stained face. Serenity pulled me into a hug and I lost control sobbing on her shoulder. "I'm sorry El. What happened? Did someone hurt you? I swear I'll rip them apart."

Nate put his hand on my back for comfort, but I became enraged. "You bastard. Don't ever touch me. You're not my friend and never have been. This whole time you knew and just let him lie to me."

Nate pulled his hand back with tears brimming his eyes. I could see his world was crashing down around him as I spew my hatred to him. We had been best friends since I was born.

"El, I promise I didn't do anything." He grabbed my hand before continuing, "please just tell me what happened. I could never hurt you. I would defy every Alpha's order if it meant it would spare you just one tear."

Serenity giggled at his basic declaration of undying love for me. Anyone below an Alpha rank that defied their orders was entitled to sentence them to death. I knew he loved me, but this confession was much deeper. Did Nate have feeling for me or was this just his loyalty to his future Queen?

"Shut up Serenity you're not helping." Nate snapped at her for laughing at him.

I sighed in confusion. Did he know? Would he hurt me like this? "I was at the club. I saw Tyler flirting with that girl. He kissed her cheek then followed her somewhere. Probably fucked her right there. Is that what you guys do? Run away to the city and fuck any slut that crosses your path. Do you laugh behind my back at how stupid and pathetic I am?"

"Shit, you were the red head. You fucking throat punched me. Do you know how much that hurt? How can such a cute little pup hit so hard?" Nate said with wide eyes as he caressed his neck.

It was still a little sore which said a lot considering how fast he heals. I probably should had pulled my punch back, but I was too furious to care if he knew how strong I was.

"Fuck you! I don't hear an explanation, let alone any denial. I'm done with you, and I'm done with Tyler. You can both fuck off... forever."

"I knew there was a reason I hated that slimy cheating punk ass. He doesn't deserve you, El." Serenity said gripping me tighter in a hug.

"Wait, you have it all wrong. We don't go out fucking around, I promise. Well Damien and I sometimes, but not Tyler. Yes, he flirts, I won't deny that. Which he shouldn't even do when he has you, but I swear I never seen him do anything more than flirt. He is eighteen and an Alpha, El. It's not right and I don't approve of it, but I can barely go a week without getting laid. I don't know how he lasted 6 months."

"Oh, you're fucking disgusting Nate." Serenity scrunched her face at him. She didn't understand how he could stand there defending Tyler like he was some saint waiting for his mate. Yes, it would be frustrating, but many did it and for much longer than 6 months.

"Goddess, you're not helping here Serenity. You are a bigger hoe than me." He turned back to me, "I swear if he ever fucked someone, I would tell you. I would never let you be with someone that treated you like my father treats my mom or his Luna. I swear El."

Both Serenity's and my face softened as he spoke of his mother. We knew it was true. Nate or even Damien would never let an Alpha treat a woman that way. They hated their father, but were powerless under his rule. They had every intention of changing things once they took over.

"You swear by the goddess that he never fucked anyone else." I asked, wiping my tears away. Lying on the oath of the goddess would curse yourself for years to come. It wasn't a superstition, it was a fact.

"Yes El, I swear by the goddess I never seen Tyler do anything but flirt with other girls. I also swear by the goddess I will protect you above anyone else, no matter what. You're my best friend." Nate pulled me from Serenity and into his arms.

I instantly wrapped my little arms around him. "Thank you, Nate. I'm sorry I punched you. Friends?"

Nate looked down into my big eyes and melted. "You owe me, but of course friends, always!"

I giggled how easily he forgave me then rested my head into his chest. I took in deep breaths to memorize his scent. He smelled like home and safety, the scent of true friendship.

"What the fuck? I said to make sure she is ok, not steal my girl." Tyler said, side eyeing Nate. He was trying to make it seem like a joke, but I knew there was a hint of jealousy there.

He always got uncomfortable when Nate and I showed how close we were. No matter what though Nate would alway be my best friend, my brother. I also knew Tyler was threatened by my Luna aura. When I lost control it poured out of me, making any man or even woman desire to be near me.

An Alpha's aura was of power, strength, and safety, but a Luna's aura was of family, unconditional love, and acceptance. It was easy to abuse this power we held, but I swore to myself I would never take advantage of the power the goddess gave me, not even in my darkest moments.

"Yeah, like I'd stand a chance." Nate scuffed back, passing me to my boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry, Ty. I saw you flirting with some girl and lost my mind. I thought you were fucking around and just exploded in rage. I don't know what happened. Maybe being so close to my 18th birthday is making my hormones go all haywire."

"What?" I could hear Tyler's heart skip a few beats.

"I know I'm losing my mind. I'm sorry I took off and ran into the woods." I said in sobs.

Tyler pulled me back into his chest. "Baby, don't worry, everything is fine. Another week and we will see what we already know, we have been fated since birth. I love you." He reassured me with a kiss on my head making me melt into him.

I felt so guilty for letting myself lose control with Ryker. I could never let Tyler find out or he would reject me. He waited just as long as I did to be completely together. I was so jealous of what he didn't do I almost messed everything up. I needed to get control of myself.

"I'm tired Ty. I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." I gave him a quick peck on the lips then gave Nate a small hug goodnight before grabbing Serenity's hand to head inside.

Serenity's job as my handmaid was to help me get ready for bed, which she spent more time teasing me than helping, but I needed to talk to her tonight.

I rushed Serenity into my bedroom then quickly shut the door. "Holy shit, I royally fucked up, S." I said falling on my bed.

"What did you do?" Serenity could sense my fear and anxiety. Somehow she always seemed to know how I was feeling, even when I tried to hide it.

"I thought Tyler cheated and Elijah or Ryker... whatever name the god like creature is was there and so tempting. I lost control."

"Oh, fuck, please tell me you didn't give it up to some stranger, El."

"Oh goddess no. Seriously, I'm not that messed up." I said, but it wasn't very convincing.

We didn't go that far. I wasn't sure if that would be true if not for the interruptions. Just thinking about his hands on my body sent shivers down my spine.

"Elena! Tell me the truth." Serenity could sense my nervousness talking and then my pure happiness as I was lost in thought.

"I swear by the moon goddess that I didn't have sex with anyone." I paused, slightly lifting the corner of my lips "but I will not swear I didn't want to. He made me feel... just so, so... I don't know, just alive I guess."

"Oh my goddess, you little hoe."

"Stop it, I am not! I shouldn't even say any of this. If Tyler ever did that to me, I would never forgive him. I'm a horrible girlfriend."

Serenity came to sit next to me on the bed. I rested my head on her shoulder, "I don't deserve Tyler."

"Don't ever say that. That boy will never know what a goddess he has. He will never deserve you and never the other way around."

"Thanks. I don't feel that way though." I sighed, letting the guilt weigh down on me further. I didn't want to be this submissive little girl, always molding myself how everyone wanted, but I needed to make up for this. I let myself be free for a few hours and cheated on the boy that stole my heart years ago.

I dragged myself to the bathroom to wash my face and teeth alongside Serenity, then we got changed into Pjs. Even though Serenity was to tend to my ever need I hated her being here as anything but my friend. Behind closed doors we were just two girls having a sleepover while gossiping about boys.