Chapter 3

Ava spent the entire morning avoiding Adrian. It was ridiculous. This was her house. Her bedroom. Her marriage. And yet she moved through the Laurent estate like someone waiting for permission to exist there. Every time she saw him, two completely different versions of the same man appeared in her mind.

The first was the cold and distant Adrian Laurent. The husband who stopped coming home early. The man who stopped answering her calls. The man she blamed for every lonely night and every painful rumor. Then there was the man from the rain. The man with shaking hands. The man who held onto her like losing her would destroy him.

Ava hated that version of him. Not because he was cruel, but because he made everything complicated. If Adrian was heartless, she could hate him. If he had betrayed her, she could leave without looking back. But if she was wrong… if she had spent a year building her hatred around a truth that wasn’t real… then what had she been fighting all this time?

Ava pushed the thought away. No. She wasn’t here to forgive Adrian. She wasn’t here to fall back into his arms because he looked sad. She was here to find the truth.  

Nothing else.

             *.  *.  *

Ava found Adrian in his office. The door was slightly open, and Adrian stood behind his desk reading through documents. For a moment she didn’t enter. She just watched him. That was her problem. She still knew him. She knew the way he loosened his tie when he was stressed. The way his fingers moved over his wedding ring when he was thinking. The way his brows pulled together whenever he was carrying too much responsibility. Little things. Things she had collected during three years of loving him.  

Loving him. The thought still hurt, because she wasn’t supposed to feel that anymore.

"Ava?" Adrian's voice pulled her back.

Adrian looked up, and the concern that crossed his face immediately irritated her.  

Why did he have to look at her like that? Why couldn’t he make this easier?

"Why have you been avoiding me?"  

The question came out sharper than Ava intended.

Adrian looked up from the documents in his hands. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then he set the file aside. "What do you mean?"

A bitter laugh escaped her. "What do I mean?" She stepped farther into the office. "When was the last time we had dinner together?"

His expression tightened. "Ava…"  

"No. Answer me."

The silence that followed felt like an answer in itself, and her chest ached because she already knew. She had known for months.

"You leave before I wake up. You come home after I’ve gone to bed. Half the time, I don’t even know where you are."

"Ava."  

"You don’t call."  

Something flickered across his face and his jaw clenched.  

"You don’t answer messages. You barely look at me anymore."

The words hung between them, heavy and painful and true. Ava folded her arms tightly across her chest. She hated how vulnerable she felt. Hated that her voice wanted to shake. Most of all, she hated that she still cared enough for any of this to hurt.

"Do you know what it’s like?" She asked quietly.  

Adrian didn’t interrupt.

"To be married to someone and feel completely alone?"  

The room seemed to grow smaller, but Ava continued anyway.  

"I spend more time wondering what you’re thinking than actually talking to you." Her throat tightened. "And the worst part is that I don’t even know when it happened."

Something changed in his expression. "I never meant to make you feel that way."

Ava looked away. "Maybe not."  

The answer hurt more than if he’d argued, because she believed him. That was the problem. Part of her always believed him. "I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong."

Adrian's head snapped up. "You didn’t do anything wrong." His voice was low, and for once it didn’t sound careful. It sounded raw.

"Then why does it feel like I’m losing you?"

The question slipped out before she could stop it. Silence filled the office. Neither of them moved. Neither of them looked away.  

For one terrible second, Ava wished she had never come here, because this was worse than anger. Worse than fighting. This was honesty, raw and ugly and impossible to hide from.

Adrian took a step toward her. "Ava."

Something inside her shattered. The office disappeared. Rain slammed against twisted metal. Glass glittered across the dashboard. The smell of gasoline filled her lungs, and her heart lurched violently. No. Not now. Her hand flew to her chest as the memory crashed into her so hard she couldn’t breathe.

"Ava?" His voice sounded distant, muffled, like it was coming through water. 

She shook her head. "I’m fine."  

The lie barely left her mouth, because she wasn’t. The panic was already taking hold. Her lungs refused to cooperate and her vision blurred. She could still hear the rain. Still feel the cold. Still see blood.

Adrian crossed the room immediately, but he didn’t touch her. He stopped in front of her, close enough to help and far enough not to corner her. "Ava, look at me."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I can’t."  

"Yes, you can." His voice was calm, steady, patient. Like he was talking her down from a ledge. "Look at me."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. He was right there, watching her, concern written across every line of his face.  

"You need to breathe."

She hated how safe his voice sounded. "Follow me." He took a slow breath, and Ava tried. She failed, and then tried again.

His hand lifted slightly, and then stopped. Giving her the choice. He was not forcing. Not demanding. Just there. Ava noticed, and somehow that hurt more, because the Adrian she remembered was supposed to be distant. This Adrian wasn’t.

"That’s it," he said quietly. "You’re okay."

The words almost broke her, because she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t been okay for a long time. And somehow, he knew.

Minutes passed before her breathing finally steadied and the panic slowly loosened its grip. Neither of them moved.  

They stood far too close. Close enough for Ava to see the exhaustion beneath his eyes. Close enough to notice the wedding ring still on his finger. A stupid detail. A simple piece of metal. Yet it made something ache inside her chest.

Memories surfaced before she could stop them. Adrian bringing her coffee because she’d complained once about working without caffeine. Adrian learning how to cook her favorite meal and nearly setting off the smoke alarm. Adrian squeezing her hand beneath the table during her first dinner with his family. The man who made her laugh. The man who once made her feel chosen. Where had that version of him gone? Or had she stopped looking?

"You hate me." His voice was quiet.  

Ava looked up. Adrian was watching her carefully. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, because she didn’t know. Did she hate him? Or did she hate what loving him had done to her?

"You look at me like I’ve hurt you."  

Her heart twisted, because he wasn’t wrong. 

"You did." The words barely rose above a whisper.

His expression fell. "I know."

The answer stunned her. No excuses. No denial. Just acceptance.

"Why?"  

For a moment, Adrian looked away. When his eyes returned to hers, they were tired. "Because I should’ve been there more."

Something inside Ava cracked. The honesty hit harder than any argument could have. She wanted to stay angry. Wanted to hold onto the version of him she’d spent months resenting. But standing here, she couldn’t find enough anger to protect herself. And before she could think, before she could stop herself, she kissed him.

The moment their lips touched, both of them froze.  She didn’t know why she’d done it. Maybe it was anger. Maybe it was grief. Maybe she needed proof that what they’d once had wasn’t a lie. His lips were warm, familiar. Painfully familiar. For one heartbeat, she forgot everything. Then reality returned. What was she doing?

Ava pulled away. Adrian stared at her, completely stunned.  

Her face burned and her heart hurt. "I..."  

No explanation came, because she didn’t have one. She turned and walked out before he could ask. Before she could break and admit the kiss had meant something.