Chapter Two Why He Married Me

Being dead was quieter than I expected.

No heartbeat.

No breath.

No rain soaking through my clothes, even though it was still pouring.

I stood beneath the trees and watched Lena put her phone away.

He loved her.

Those had been her last words.

Now I killed her.

Not everything went according to plan.

Just: He loved her.

It should have comforted me.

I'd spent four years wanting exactly that.

Instead, I wanted to scream.

"Lena!"

She walked straight through me.

I spun around.

"Lena!"

Nothing.

She hurried back toward the road, where Rowan was still kneeling beside my body.

I followed her.

There were more people now. Silverpine warriors had blocked both ends of the road. Someone had draped a blanket around Lena's shoulders.

She looked small beneath it.

Shaken.

Almost innocent.

If I hadn't followed her into the trees, I might have believed that too.

Two healers approached Rowan.

"Alpha."

He didn't move.

One of them crouched beside him.

"We need to take Luna Mira."

Rowan's arms tightened around me.

That was strange to see.

Those arms had never held me while I was alive.

"Alpha," the healer repeated gently.

Rowan looked down at my face.

For one terrible moment, I thought he might refuse.

Then he let me go.

The healers lifted my body onto a stretcher.

When they pulled the sheet over my face, something inside me recoiled.

"No."

I moved toward them.

"Wait."

They couldn't hear me.

I knew that.

Still, I followed the stretcher for several steps before stopping.

There was no point.

Whatever I was now, that body wasn't coming back.

"Adrian."

Rowan's voice made me turn.

His Beta came immediately.

Adrian Cross had served beside Rowan for as long as I'd known them. He was usually the easier of the two men to read.

Tonight, his expression was grim.

"Seal the road," Rowan said.

"We already have trackers after the vehicle."

"I want the entire southern boundary closed."

Adrian hesitated.

"Rowan, if the driver simply lost control—"

"He didn't."

The certainty in Rowan's voice silenced him.

It silenced me too.

Rowan looked toward the bend.

"There are no skid marks."

Adrian followed his gaze.

"The road is flooded."

"Exactly. A driver coming around that bend at that speed would have tried to brake."

Unless he wasn't trying to stop.

My attention moved to Lena.

She stood several feet away.

Listening.

"The SUV didn't even slow down," Rowan continued. "Find it."

Adrian nodded.

"And Adrian?"

"Yes?"

"No council reports yet."

That caught my attention.

Adrian's did too.

"An Alpha's Luna died on pack territory. We can't keep that from them."

"I'm not asking you to."

Rowan's voice lowered.

"I'm asking you to give me a few hours before you tell them anything."

Why?

Lena's earlier phone call came back to me.

Tell the Council we have a bigger problem.

Maybe Rowan knew more than I'd thought.

Maybe everyone did except me.

That possibility followed me all the way back to Silverpine Manor.

***

The house was full before dawn.

Nobody seemed to know what to do with themselves.

Some servants cried openly.

Others whispered in corners.

People who had barely acknowledged me yesterday suddenly spoke about me as though we'd been close.

"She was always kind."

"She didn't deserve this."

"Poor Luna."

I almost laughed.

Death had apparently improved my social standing.

I wandered into the kitchen.

And stopped.

The pantry doors were open.

Food covered every shelf.

Rice.

Flour.

Vegetables.

Bread.

Enough to feed the entire manor.

I stared at it.

Last night, there was almost nothing.

That was why I'd gone to the store.

I had opened these same cupboards myself.

Someone had restocked them overnight.

Maybe it meant nothing.

Maybe the staff had simply received a delivery.

But after Lena's phone call, nothing felt harmless anymore.

Had someone wanted me out of the house?

A cold unease settled over me.

I left the kitchen.

Voices came from Rowan's study.

The door was closed.

For the first time in four years, that wasn't a problem.

I walked through it.

Adrian stood beside Rowan's desk.

Rowan had changed out of his bloody clothes, but he hadn't showered. Dried blood remained beneath one fingernail.

My blood.

I looked away.

"The road camera?" Rowan asked.

"Disabled."

His expression hardened.

"When?"

"Seven minutes before Mira came out of the store."

My stomach dropped.

Adrian placed a tablet on the desk.

"The camera on the northern intersection stayed active. The one covering the crash site didn't."

"Equipment failure?"

"No."

Adrian swiped across the screen.

"Someone accessed the control box manually."

Rowan stared at the image.

"So they knew where it would happen."

"Who knew Mira had left the manor?" Rowan asked.

"We're checking."

"Check everyone."

"Even staff?"

"Especially staff."

My thoughts returned to the empty pantry.

Someone might have wanted me to leave.

But that didn't fit what I'd heard Lena say.

You told me she wouldn't be there.

If Lena hadn't expected me on the road, then who had?

Adrian reached into his coat.

"There's something else."

He placed a small evidence bag on the desk.

Inside was a black metal pin.

A narrow silver crescent had been carved into its center.

I'd never seen it before.

Rowan had.

His entire expression changed.

Not dramatically.

That was the frightening part.

He simply stopped moving.

"Where did you find this?"

"Near the east curb."

"Who touched it?"

"Me and one tracker."

"Which tracker?"

"Harris."

"No one else?"

"No."

Rowan picked up the bag.

"Keep it that way."

Adrian frowned.

"Do you recognize it?"

Rowan didn't answer.

"Rowan."

"Lock the evidence room."

"Why?"

"And don't put this in the official report."

That surprised Adrian.

It frightened me.

"You're asking me to conceal evidence."

"I'm asking you to find whoever did this.”

The room became very quiet.

Adrian stared at him.

Then something seemed to occur to him.

"You expected this."

Rowan's eyes lifted.

"No."

"But you recognize that symbol."

Silence.

"How long have you known Mira was in danger?"

I moved toward Rowan before I even realized I was doing it.

Answer him.

Rowan looked at the pin in his hand.

"I knew there was interest in her."

"What kind of interest?"

"The kind I didn't want."

"From whom?"

Another silence.

Adrian's expression hardened.

"Before or after you married her?"

Rowan finally looked at him.

"Before."

The word hit me harder than I expected.

Before four years of locked doors and separate bedrooms.

Before I had spent night after night wondering why my husband regretted marrying me.

I stood across the desk from him.

"You knew?"

Nothing.

Of course nothing.

Adrian wasn't finished.

"Did Mira know any of this?"

"No."

At least he didn't hesitate.

Anger flooded through me.

"Why?"

My voice rose despite knowing how useless it was.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Rowan lowered his gaze.

Adrian stared at him in disbelief.

"You kept her ignorant for four years?"

"I kept information away from her that could have put her in greater danger."

"That's what you told yourself?"

Rowan looked up sharply.

Adrian didn't back down.

For a moment I forgot my anger.

Nobody spoke to Rowan that way.

"She was your wife," Adrian said. "She had a right to know something."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Rowan stood.

"Be very careful."

"No. You don't get to Alpha-command your way out of this with me."

I stared at Adrian.

Where had this man been during my marriage?

"You married a woman you knew people were watching," he continued. "Then you kept her in the dark. Now she's dead."

Rowan's face went white.

Adrian immediately looked as though he regretted saying it.

I didn't.

Not entirely.

Because somebody needed to say it.

Rowan turned away.

For a long time, neither man spoke.

Then Adrian quietly said, "I'm sorry."

Rowan looked toward the window.

"So am I."

There was no defense.

No claim that he'd done everything correctly.

Just two words that came four years too late.

Adrian picked up the tablet.

"I'll check the staff."

At the door, he stopped.

"Whatever you're still hiding, Rowan, figure out whether protecting it matters more than finding whoever did this."

Then he left.

Rowan remained motionless.

I stayed too.

I didn't know why.

Maybe I wanted him to talk when nobody was around.

Maybe I still had the ridiculous habit of waiting for him.

After a while, Rowan crossed the study.

He locked the door.

Then he knelt beside the fireplace and pressed a section of carved wood I'd never noticed before.

A panel opened.

Inside was a wooden box.

My name was carved into the lid.

MIRA.

I moved closer.

Rowan placed it on his desk.

His hand rested on top for several seconds before he unlocked it.

Inside were letters.

Dozens of them.

Some looked years old.

Every envelope had my name written across it in Rowan's handwriting.

"What are these?"

I tried counting them.

There were too many.

Rowan picked up one near the bottom.

The date was three weeks before our wedding.

My anger quieted.

Three weeks before he'd married me.

He opened it.

I moved behind his shoulder.

For the first time, death allowed me to read something that had never been meant for my eyes.

My Mira,

I have rewritten this letter four times because every version sounds like an excuse.

I stopped.

Rowan's thumb trembled slightly against the page.

Then I read the next line.

If you ever learn why I married you, you may never forgive me.

I stared at my husband.

For four years, I'd thought Rowan regretted marrying me.

Now I wondered if he'd regretted the reason he married me.