Sleeping inside

Lucian's Perspective

The palace held its oppressive weight today, with uncertainties seeping through its walls. I followed familiar corridors, heart pounding as I approached my mother’s quarters. Lady Seraphina’s health had remained poor for quite some time, and the gnawing worry in me was becoming unbearable. I wanted to see her, to reassure myself that she was indeed all right.

As I arrived at her door, I stood for a moment, inhaling deeply to compose myself. The tension in the air could be felt, and shadows began creeping in with doubt. My mind flitted back to Sarah, her unyielding support, and her immense loyalty through thick and thin. But another face loomed ominously within my thoughts—Clark .

"Come in," my mother's voice rang from the room, pulling me back into reality.

I shoved the door open, stepping inside an exquisite yet dimly lit room. Lady Seraphina lay on her bed, a pale face framed by silvery hair. She seemed frail, but the fire in her eyes had given me strength over the years. "Lucian, my dear," she finally said, smiling despite her weary condition. "I'm glad to see you."

"Mother," I said, moving to her side, "how are you feeling today?"

"I feel better than yesterday," she replied, though I could see fatigue adorning her features. "But I still fret about you, dear. The weight of this pack must be heavy to bear, no?"

I nodded, feeling the weight of her words. "Too much is happening, and I am trying to keep everyone safe. Sarah... she's been having a tough time with everything."

Worry flashed in my mother’s eyes. "And what about Clark ? I see the way you look at her, Lucian. There is a bond there, I think?”

The moment she said those words, my heart jumped, mixing confusion and want. "Clark is... she's strong and compassionate. She has been helping Lawrence, and I admire her for that."

"Admire, you say?" Lady Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "Or is it something more?"

I shifted uncomfortably, trying to brush away the heat that was creeping into my cheeks. "I love Sarah, Mother. She is my mate. I could never do that."

"But your heart seems to wander,” she pressed, a piercing glare boring into me. “I’ve seen how you interact with one another. There is something beneath the surface of it.”

Suddenly, memories flashed in my mind—Clark laughing, her eyes sparkling as she talked about her son, and the warmth that came with being in her presence. It stirred something deep inside me, something I had fought against for so long. I shook my head, trying to clear it. "No. I cannot think that way. I need to focus on Sarah."

"Focus on what, exactly?" Lady Seraphina asked, voice still gentle but firm. "On a bond that is already fraying? You need to be true to yourself, Lucian. You deserve to be happy."

I was aching within whilst she spoke. Sarah came to my mind; her fiery spirit and unwavering support. Then, there was Clark , who had brought me to life in a way I had not felt in years. I was being torn apart in two different directions.

"Mother, I—" I began, but her voice was swallowed by the slamming door, and fully illuminated with the fresh air that entered behind Clark .

She stepped into the room. "Lady Seraphina, I came to check on you," she said warmly and lovingly. The jolt of energy her presence sent through me made me admire her strength even more.

Clark , dear," my mother greeted her with a smile. "I'm glad you are here. Lucian was just voicing his concern for you."

Clark turned to me; I felt the blood rush into my cheeks. Her expression softened further as she said, "I am glad to see you, Lucian."

The atmosphere in that room shifted, and I could not pry my eyes from her. It felt as if the rest of the world melted away, leaving her standing—beautiful, fierce, and with the sheer audacity to crush whatever protective wall I had put around my heart.

"And...thank you for what you're doing for Lawrence," I finally whispered, barely audible. "He sure needs someone like you."

"I am just doing whatever I can," she replied with those beautiful eyes filled with sincerity. "He needs to feel strong."

The sun was shining very brightly on the grassy area after an early afternoon drizzle ceasing a few minutes ago. As we were there together, I felt a magnetic pull toward her, a feeling that sent delightful shivers up my spine and drew forth terror. Suddenly memories of the time spent together crowded in—her laughter, her putting Sarah straight, and her kindness with everyone else.

I shook my head hard. "Clark , I am thankful for everything, but I cannot..." My words faded off as the weight of emotion strangled me.

"What can you not do?" she asked, a hint of inquisitiveness lining her eyes as she tilted her head a little to one side.

"I cannot stab Sarah in the back," I half-sobbed. "She is my mate. I love her."

"Love?" Lady Seraphina cut in with a sharp voice. "Is this what you call it? To cling to something that may no longer exist?"

It filled me with rage. "That's not fair, Mother! Sarah has been through a lot. I just can't abandon her.”

Clark said gently as she moved closer. “We aren’t asking you to discard anyone. But you have to consider what you really want. You cannot keep lying to yourself about your feelings.”

The air in the room got heavier the moment I felt it with an ongoing tension. My heart raced as I tried hard to navigate around my emotions. The strong sit-tight urge to step into Clark ’s space and absorb her warmth battled with my allegiance to Sarah.

“I-I don’t know what I want,” I stammered, my voice cracking. “One world has her in it, and the other is tearing me apart.”

Clark put a hand upon my arm. The warmth for her touch sent a shock of electricity across me, and I struggled to keep my wits about me. “You must walk your own path, Lucian. It is okay to be confused. Just do not allow your fear to make the decisions for you.”

I gazed into her eyes; the depth of understanding echoed through her aura. I could almost bring myself to believe there might be something more between us. But then Sarah came flooding back—her laughter, her fiery spirit, and how she fought for me when I needed her the most.

“I can't,” I whispered, stepping back. “I can't allow myself to feel that way.”

Lady Seraphina cast a knowing look at me. “Sometimes, you have to risk it all to get true happiness. You can't spend your life fearing what might happen.”

Clark nodded soberly. "You deserve joy, Lucian. Don't let this chance go by."

There was a heaviness to the air as the weight of my decisions crowded in on me. The battle raged inside me, and I knew whatever I would choose would have consequences.

"I need to think," I said distantly. "I need time."

"Take all the time you need," Lady Seraphina said gently. "But remember, life is fleeting. Don't wait too long."

I could feel their eyes on my back as I left the room. The struggle inside me was far from over, and I knew that there lay ahead a long, long way to go. But somewhere deep down, there flickered a glimmer of hope. Maybe I'd come up with a way to reconcile my feelings with a pathway honoring my heart and sense of responsibility.

Stepping into the corridor, uncertainty weighed heavy on me; yet I would confront my emotions without any delay. Somehow, I would manage to find a way through this ghastly maze of love and allegiance, whatever the cost.