Chapter 2 - Didn´t Matter

Angela D´Angelo

He lowered his lips tenderly over mine. “Angie,” he said once we parted ways. I pressed my forehead into his chest. It was so hard to contain this passion, this fire burning inside me. I wanted him, I loved him... only him.

“I´m scared,” I said again, and he pecked my forehead. Somehow, he always knew what I needed and how to deliver it. It was as if we were entirely in tune. Even my family, like me, suspected we might be mates. My Lycan is so fond of him that the pull and attraction are undeniable and palpable, which is only seen between mates.

He is human, he feels it differently, but it is there. We need to wait for the confirmation at the Moon Goddess Ball.

“Why are you so scared?” he asked, leading the way to the couch. He restored the little cabin to perfection and even bought some comfortable furniture to enhance the cozy moments. Unfortunately, we had a bedroom with a new bed that had only been used to cuddle and watch movies.

“I don´t know. Every time I think of you in that position, negotiating peace between two stubborn races, the humans are reckless and lethal, no offense,” I said, and he chuckled.

“Not taken,” he said, and I bit my lower lip.

“I have read how humans are. Money moves them, and I am not naive enough to believe that negotiations will work, when political powers, skewed narratives and the weapons industry are behind all of this.” I paused. I am not trying to undermine his capabilities to handle the situation, but for me, it is clear. My family has placed him in a losing position and I hated it. He is the one taking all the risk, all the blame. He will be the one suffering the fall, not them.

“Then, on the other hand, you have us. We are no better. Yes, we are not actively looking for a fight, but I get why humans are weary of us. In most cases, supernaturals and shifters are half human, half beast. We heal and run differently, and our strength resides in our beasts.” I sighed. “And in the end, we are those beasts.”

“Have you seen Dominic shift into his demon? It is scary even for me, even though I know for sure he will never harm me.” I sighed, and Roger chuckled.

“So, it has nothing to do with me...” He said, and I shook my head.

“Of course it has everything to do with you!” I said, “I don´t doubt your political skills. I have seen how you get things done. But you will be strained by the humans trying to get their way, and my family will cover their interests. In the middle is us. US!” I said dramatically, and he chuckled.

“You are overthinking,” he sighed, and I took a deep breath. He was minimizing the entire situation.

“You are not seeing my point of view, not even trying.” I protested, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and tucked me into his side. His hand laces his fingers with mine, relaxing me immediately. See? If that is not a mate bond, I don´t know what is!

“I see your point of view and understand your concern, my princess.” He said tenderly... “But I am asking you to see things from my perspective. A war between your realm and mine would mean we would never be...” he said, and that other possibility also broke my soul if a war were to happen. Humans would not be allowed anymore in the different realms, I would not be allowed in the human world, and we would be forced apart. Having him on board with the negotiations gave us a chance.

Yes, I should be at ease knowing I am in a privileged spot. I am a Lycan princess, but knowing how my family is a sucker for rules, and how they alwyas thrive on setting the example, they will force me apart from him, specially if there is no mate bond confirmed.

Another risk of a war happening too soon is that if there is a risk of war, the Ball will be cancelled, and we will never know. Damn it!

“I feel you are placed in a grave disadvantage...” I muttered, and he nodded.

“I know, " he said, and I looked up at him, surprised by his ease about the situation.

“And you accepted?” I was surprised.

“Of course, I will accept. I know how to deal with this type of situation. I am used to beating a disadvantage and making the most of it,” he said, and I took a deep breath.

He was born and left at a young age to fend for himself. At a young age, he defended Ava, my cousin´s mate. She was abused, and that weighed on him tremendously. He felt guilty, and that´s why he has risked so much trying to look after the people who have been abused. He has served as an undercover agent on several missions, using his street smarts and wits to provide helpful information to my cousins and brothers.

He is right; he is used to being at a disadvantage, but that doesn´t mean things will go as expected this time. Every time he takes up a mission, it is a new risk. It opens up the possibility of us being unable to be together and happy.

“You already made up your mind...” I mumbled, feeling every ounce of fight leaving my body. I felt like crying; I felt lost. There was nothing I could do to prevent this.

“Angie...” he took a shaky breath in.

“I am sorry, Princess...” He said, and I saw it in his eyes -regret. I bit my lower lip and waited for him to continue. “I am sorry, Angie... I am an idiot who didn´t think about you, how this would impact you, or how it would make you feel... I jumped blindly into the opportunity of being of use, that I forgot to run my decision through you... to ask you about it...” he said, and I nodded, tears welling in my eyes.

It was a harsh truth. He saw an opportunity to help, to be useful, to prevent a greater evil, and without question, he jumped into it, forgetting about me. I came second. He didn´t think of me, not for a slight moment.

A tough pill to swallow, at the moment of his decision, I didn´t matter.

I stood up abruptly, setting distance between us. My Lycan whimpered. She felt just as lost as I did, but her primal instinct was to keep him close, while my human instinct was to put some distance between us. I didn´t like this feeling—the emptiness that the idea of not being his priority caused me.

“I think I need to go,” I said, and he jumped off the couch immediately.

“Please, Angie...” he said, and I shook my head.

“I need to process all this. Because here I am, concerned for you and dying inside, knowing that you put yourself at risk with this decision, and you just rubbed it in my face that you didn´t think about me. I didn´t matter to you,” I said, the words breaking with tears.

“Angie...” he softly said my name... “It was not that...” he said, trying to comfort me, but it only made me even angrier.

“Then explain! Because you were clear and even apologized for it!” I growled, and he took a step back.

Yes, we were half beasts, and in this situation, mine was about to take control because I felt completely torn. Roger took a step back, and I saw something cross his features, something I would have never expected to see in his eyes when looking at me—fear.

He was afraid of me.

“You need to calm down,” he said, and I nodded. I walked to the cabin's door, looked over my shoulder to see him, and then shifted into my Lycan and left.

Howling at the Moon, I didn´t come back.