Chapter 3 - Worthy of Her

Roger

Fuck! I have never seen her in so much distress. She worries about me, and I understand her considering this mission’s great danger.

But how could I say no? How could I deny myself the opportunity to do something meaningful, not only for the human realm but also for the supernatural? I am an orphan, a measly human who had captured, for some unknown reason, the heart of one of the Lycan Princesses.

Angela is a special girl. She has a vibrant attitude and a carefree vibe that pulled me in. Yes, she enticed me to overlook the huge age gap between us. I am turning twenty-six, while she just turned eighteen. She is a child compared to me, but she is mature beyond her years.

She is strong-willed, opinionated, and not afraid to speak her mind. The funny thing is that that passion and strong attitude had her walking away from me right now.

She shifted into her Lycan, a beautiful auburn creature with blue eyes, and ran away from here. I hope she comes back so that we can talk about everything.

I fucked up. Yes, I am man enough to admit that one. I shouldn´t have accepted without telling her. We are not mates or haven´t had her goddess´s blessing. That happened twice a year in an event they call the Moon Ball.

In a Moon Ball, my foster-sister found her fated mate, King Arman, Angela´s dragon cousin. Many of my friends have also found their destinies during moon balls. According to Angela, the next Moon Ball will tell us with certainty what she already feels deep in her heart—that we are destined to be together.

She assures me that she feels the bond and that her lycan is almost sure we belong together. But nearly is not a complete certainty; thus, I have had the sound mind of not making her mine. I am a human, a weakling in their eyes, and somehow, I have managed to earn their respect, enough for them to consider me for a crucial negotiation and perhaps prevent a war.

I am completely in love with her. I still remember two years ago, when she was sixteen and I was twenty-four, I met her when Arman took Ava and me in. We have been running around, working our asses off, struggling and barely surviving. I was forced to do questionable things, while Barry, the leader of the group we belonged to, abused my sister and hurt her.

Those times had branded my soul. I can´t see anyone suffering; I have the urge and need to protect everyone around me. Ava suffered because of my weakness, and now that I have the chance to prevent so much suffering, I couldn´t resist.

And that weakness was hurting the woman I was in love with.

I could see it in her beautiful eyes, how her heart broke when I explained why I must do this, especially when I told her I hadn´t thought about her. Her vibrant eyes dulled, and I saw before my eyes how all the fire left her body, only to be left with ashes.

I was honest with her, but never in a million years did I mean for her to feel second. She was not second; she was my entire universe.

Every day I wake up and think about her, her smile, and her lips kissing mine. Every day, I work harder and push myself to improve because I want to feel worthy of such a precious woman. Every passing minute, she is in my mind, and it terrifies me that at the Ball someone else, a worthy supernatural, claims her as his.

It is not unheard of, especially in supernatural-human relationships, that the pull, the love, is a mere mirage of two souls yearning to be together... instead of a blessed bond. I can´t let her go, but I can´t rob her of the chance of having her happily ever after.

That is why I am terrified of the night of the dance. I am frightened of losing her. Maybe that´s why I took the negotiations upon my shoulders. Perhaps I need to feel at risk and forget the possibility of not having her in my life. Maybe, just maybe, I want to prove myself repeatedly, to see if her goddess takes pity on me and grants me my wish. Perhaps if I prevent a war, and save many of her children, she will smile my way and gift me the only one I have ever wanted for myself -Angela D´Angelo.

I sat on the steps of our little cabin as our secret special spot. I am not a man of many means. I have worked hard. I studied at university and graduated ahead of time with high honors. Life dealt me a shitty hand from the get go, but I have managed to rise above all those circumstances. I worked hard for Angelo and Matei, clin¿mbed the corporate ladder, and have been helpful in special undercover missions. I have a lot of red on my ledger and have managed to clean most of it.

When the time comes, I can proudly present myself before the former Lycan King and ask for Angie´s hand in marriage. I can present myself as a man of status, as a man worthy of her.

Not so long ago, I embarked on an undercover mission, and I know now it took a heavy toll on her. I promised her then that I would never risk myself again in such a way, and I failed her... I jumped at the opportunity to be in the middle of heavy negotiations to prevent a war between both species.

Shit, shit, shit!

The realization of why she looked so broken is drowning me. I made promises to her, and I broke every one of them. I have failed her.... I am trying everything to make myself worthy of her, but I forgot to be the man she needs. A reliable anchor, a guide, a steady presence. A man who considers her feelings and opinions, a man she can love unconditionally, and knows that she is safe with me. A man who keeps his promises...

Not only did I not consider her when making my decisions, but that made her feel unimportant and second-class. It made her think she was not a priority in my life, and I broke my promise not to put myself at risk again.

I have proved the opposite in my efforts to be worthy of her. I don´t deserve her. I have fucked up big time...

I pulled at my hair, tossing it all over the place, making it seem unruly.

I took my phone and called Matei. “Hey, Roger,” he sighed. I have seen him deal with so many things that I can tell he is completely exhausted and fed up with all the curveballs he has had to deal with lately.

“Hey...” I greeted him.

“What´s up?” he said, and I chuckled. Matei D´Angelo is Angela´s older half-brother and the King of All. The Supreme King that rules over all the Supernaturals. He was the one who asked me to take the position of mediator between species. He believes that my human condition and my closeness with the supernatural, having a foster sister who is a half-angel, half-witch, who is mated to a Dragon King, makes me the perfect candidate to see a fair agreement within all the parties involved.

I took a deep breath, “I don´t know... I think I rushed in accepting the offer.” I said, and the line suddenly went quiet.

“Talk to me...” he said, and I took a deep breath.

“I don´t think I can do it. By helping you, I am disappointing her,” I said, and he sighed.

“Angie...” he said, and I remained quiet.

“I don´t want to hurt her, and I don´t want her to worry.” I pressed, and Mat took a deep breath.

“Don´t stress about it... Let me speak to her...” he offered,

“No, please... I broke my promises to her and don´t want to fail her anymore.” I said, and Mat took a deep breath.

“I understand, but there are no promises to keep when the war breaks. If the war breaks out, there won´t be a Moon Ball to get the blessing you need to be together. I am sure they will hunt us down, all the royal families will be chased, hunted, and killed... and in the end, there will be no woman to keep your promises to.” He gave me his two cents and a harsh reality check.

By taking this upon my shoulders, I would be in control of her fate and the fate of her entire family.

“Let me speak to her, and I will get back to you,” I said,

“Good... talk to you soon,” he said, finishing the call.

Even if she gets upset, I will protect her with my life and everything I am.