ELLEN
One month later...
I gripped the edge of the toilet and emptied my stomach into it for the fifth time this morning. Lily stood by the door. Her arms folded across her chest, and she looked at me with pity. It's been a month since I was stupid enough to have sex with a total stranger without even getting his name. I kept reproaching myself for how foolish I had been that night, acting impulsively and letting his handsome face and sexy body lure me to bed. It was not something I did and not the kind of fun I had anticipated that night, I wasn't looking to get laid, and sex wasn't even something that freaked me out. But he had touched me in many ways, arousing feelings I never knew were there; while I had only been a whore to him, the thought of it hurt badly.
His misunderstanding still rankled, but what got me most was this constant throwing up of mine for a few days now, I kept telling myself that I had eaten something that didn't agree with my body, and I believed it so much that I didn't want to think of anything else. I had hated the man after waking up to see that he was gone and had left a bundle of money as a payoff, and I hated myself more for making that mistake, for letting his charms deceive me. The money still sat in my locker, I was determined to find him and shove his money back in his damn face. I looked for him the next day but didn't find him, I had asked the bartender who he was, but the guy was being evasive with me, so I gave up.
But no matter how mad I am with him, he always stars in my wet dreams, and I didn't know if it was safe for me to say I miss him. It wasn't wholly his fault that we had sex. He didn't force me, I wanted it too, and I am sure I must have given off that vibe so well that he grabbed it. To me, he rocked my world, but the real rocking was yet to come unknown to me.
"Are you alright?" Lily asked, moving into the bathroom and squatting beside me.
"I'm fine, I just feel dizzy," I insisted.
"Elle, don't you think you should see a doctor now? This is getting serious."
I shook my head frantically before replying. The thought of the hospital alone made me want to puke. "I am fine, it's probably something I ate."
Lily stared pointedly at me, biting her lower lip as if she was biting back something she wanted to say. I knew what she was thinking and the next thing she would say. The thought alone made me want to cry. I can't be pregnant, not now, I still have a lot of schoolwork to do. I knew it was a possibility, but I never, ever wanted to acknowledge it, I didn't want to believe it or even think of it.
"These are the early signs of pregnancy, you know that, right?" Lily cocked an eyebrow at me.
I pushed past her toward our room. "I am not pregnant, Lily. Can you please stop talking about this already?"
"If you are too shy or embarrassed to see a doctor, we can check it here, just to be sure." She took out a pregnancy test tube.
I slid my arms into a jean jacket, ignoring her and what she had just brought out of her pocket. "I am going for lectures..."
Before I could even complete my sentence, another wave of nausea hit me, and I rushed back into the toilet and threw up again. This time, it was all dry heaves, nothing was left inside of me. Lily came and rubbed my back and cleaned my mouth with a towel.
"Are you going to try this?" she asked, shoving the tube to my face.
I shot my eyes and tried to ignore what she was saying, but I knew she was right, I needed to know exactly what was going on with me. I should know whether or not I was pregnant, but I prayed the latter was the case. As I thought of it, it sent chills throughout my body. I couldn't be pregnant, I couldn't be carrying the baby of a stranger I had a one-night stand with, it was going to crumble my whole life. Where was I going to find him? If only he had given me a name, I would have looked him up, done my research, and pinned him down. The only thing I knew about him was that he was Italian and was involved in a family business with fractions worldwide. Those weren't enough information, and they won't put a face to the mystery that was that man.
I still needed to work, I needed to finish college, Kennedy was graduating high school, and he needed to prepare for college, mom needed her medications, all these required money, and I was the one to provide it. How was I going to make money if I was pregnant? What happens to this baby? What will I use to train him or her? What happens to my education? I should have thought of all these things before spreading my legs wide for a stranger.
God, I can't be pregnant, please.
But I had to know, and I had to do it now.
A few minutes later, I sat on the edge of my bed, clutching the test tube, Lily seated beside me. I held the tube before me, but my eyes were closed. I didn't want to see it, I didn't want it to be true, my heart was racing, and I felt my hands quivering. When I couldn't take it anymore, I opened one eye and peeped at it. My worst fear came to reality. Double red lines glared clearly at me. There was no mistaking it or denying it.
I was pregnant.
My whole world crumbled.
OLIVER MONERO Five years later... With my shoulders hung, I walked down the large, brightly lit corridors of my father's mansion. It was a few days after Sara's funeral, and my father had me fly from New York to Italy because he wanted to say something to me, something that could not be said over the phone. I stopped in front of the door to his study, knocked once, and went in, he was hunched over some documents that I didn't care to know about. My heart was hurting, I had just buried my wife, the love of my life, just a few days ago. Sara was my life. She was everything to me, losing her was like losing my life and sanity because she kept me sane and brightened my life. It hurt me most because she died with our baby; that feeling can't seem to leave me, no matter how I try to shake it off. My father didn't look up from the papers he was looking at, even when he knew someone had joined him. I walked up to the table and stood there. He never treated me like his son, he treat
OLIVER I sat at the kitchen Island, taking shots of scotch and thinking about how crazy my life was turning out to be over the past few weeks. I just got back from Italy, and I was very confused. To be honest, I don't know what I wanted anymore. I wanted to handle the business and stay in the mafia, but I couldn't be looking for a wife when Sara was barely gone. My whole head was reeling, and I felt like smashing things, but even that did not help me. Once I was back at my mansion, I went straight into my room and broke everything I got hold of. Still, it didn't alleviate the heaviness in my heart. I downed another shot and felt the cold sting of the liquid through my throat. I saw Sara standing by the stove, grinning at me. She was so beautiful, so peaceful, the peace in my chaos, but I could never see her again. I can never feel her touch again, all I can do is imagine, and I don't think I can survive that. I hauled the shot across the kitchen, it hit the wall and sha
ELLEN I sat in Lily's living room, hugging the throw pillow and staring at the TV but not really listening to what they were saying or watching the program. My mind was somewhere far away. It's been two weeks since I was suspended from work because of Oliver Monero, the heartless man who happened to be the father of my precious little Sophie. How had I been that stupid and careless? That question had been ringing in my head any time I thought of him. Sophie was in bed now and Lily was not yet back from work, so I had some alone time thinking about my life and Oliver Monero. I was thinking about him a lot and all I wanted to do was shove his thoughts out of my mind, but they kept nagging. I sighed at the same time as the front door beeped. "I'm back!" Lily announced as she came into the house, her heels clicking on the hard floor. I didn't move or reply to her until she came into the living room and stopped for a while staring at me. When I got uncomfortable with her scrutiny, I sig
ELLENThe reception was large and there were many people walking around, paying no attention to who came in or went out. Security cameras were mounted at different angles. Lily explained everything about the office to me. She didn't want anyone to know we knew each other until I got the job. I took the elevator by the right which she had told me led to Oliver's cubicle. Once the elevator chimed, I stepped out into another reception. Four other women sat on a bench looking tensed. A young, handsome man approached me. "Are you here for the interview?" I nodded, suddenly losing my voice. He looked at his wristwatch. "You are ten minutes late." They were time conscious. "I am sorry." "What's your name?" "Ellen Knight." He glanced through the paper, pronouncing my name as he looked through. I stood there looking all firm, but I was crawling on my hands and knees inside. He looked up and smiled. "It's your lucky day, Ellen Knight. You are next. Have a seat." "Thank you," I breathed a
ELLEN I jerked up at the sound of the alarm, stretched, and yawned. It was still dark, but if I wanted to keep this job, I would have to sacrifice my time. Sophie was still asleep when I checked on her and it broke my heart to wake her up so early in the morning. I did not want to bother Lily with my responsibilities, so I did not bother to ask her for help in getting Sophie ready for the day. Sophie whined when I shook her and went back to sleep. She was still enjoying her sleep, and I did not want to disturb her. So, I let her sleep while I prepared breakfast and packed her lunch. It was the mistake I made because when I was done with finally getting Sophie ready, it was 6:30 a.m. on the dot. The driver was already there since 6:00 a.m. and I was not done by 6:30 am. I dragged a half-awake Sophie across the lawn to the waiting driver. "I am so sorry," I apologized without looking at the person. I got into the backseat and placed Sophie beside me, her head fell on
ELLEN The first day in the office was pretty hectic but I was not permitted to complain. Oliver had me everywhere and I could hear the whispers from the other staff members in his cubicle sympathizing with me, but I was not bothered because I was there for a purpose. My desk was directly opposite Oliver's office, and he had floor-to-ceiling glass walls, so he could see me through his office— that meant I was not allowed to have useless chatters when he was around. Nothing much happened on the first day. Oliver did not yell at me, nor give me much attention, he only acted like I was not there. The next day, I woke up earlier than usual and got Sophie ready for school. I am not sure she will ever get used to being awake so early and my heart broke each time she whined and sobbed, but I had a goal I wanted to achieve. It was for her medicine, and I needed health insurance for her. Lily offered to take Sophie to Ms. Maggie, her guardian. I got to Oliver's place at exactly 6:00
ELLEN "Eight, nine, ten, eleven..." I heard Sophie's voice as I walked into Ms. Maggie's apartment to pick her up. I was knackered from work. I worked tirelessly today, as I was also supposed to run some errands for the HRM department. An important event was coming up next week, and we needed to prepare for it. I did not know what it entailed, but the day was hectic for me. "Mommy!" Sophie squealed and ran to me. I quickly squatted and spread my arms and she flew into them in a fit of giggles. "You are late," she announced. "I am so sorry, baby. How was your day?" "I became the queen of our dance today." "Oh, that's superb." Sophie had always liked dancing and had said she would become a ballet dancer when she grew up. She won the queen of her ballet class back in New York and led the dance. Now, she was pulling weight here in her new school in California too. I have never been happier. "Our annual ballet dance is coming up next week," s
ELLEN That day after work, another man home drove me. This man was stone-faced, just like Oliver, and never spoke to me on our drive back home. For the next couple of days, he picked me up and dropped me back. Sophie's annual ballet dance was fast approaching, and I was getting worried as the day went by. I was scared I would not be able to make it and I did not know how I would her in the eyes and explain that I had to work and forfeit her dance. I do not want to be a terrible mom at all. The intercom rang, jerking me out of my thoughts. I looked through Oliver's office, he was looking down at a file. I stood and went over to the door, knocked, and went in. He did not look up when I got in. I was used to him not giving me attention. I do not feel anything else for him now except resentment and I kept wondering what I saw in him. He was not wearing a tie as usual, and his first two buttons were left unbuttoned. I do not know why he always dressed like that. He did not