I had to get out! The sun was shining, and I was dying for some peace and quiet, especially after what happened at breakfast... dishes and glass being chucked across the kitchen again! I had locked myself in my bedroom the moment the commotion started, and I didn't bother stepping out until father had managed to calm the situation.
But the sun beaming down on my back just fed a calmness into my soul that I needed, and I focused on that small delight whilst I sketched the pretty black raven in front of me. He seemed to be enjoying the sun just as much as I was, he was happily basking, curiously bopping his head around to watch me. Perhaps he found this part of the woods just as peaceful as I did... The sun rays glistening on the clear lake behind us and the sounds of the grass and leaves gently flowing in tune with the warm breeze.
His feathers looked polished and soft, thick and strong, ready to carry his whole body wherever he wished to go. I envied him, in fact, I envied all creatures that could take flight whenever they chose. Carry themselves away from here with so much freedom!
I wasn't generally an envious person, there definitely wasn't anyone I envied within our wolf pack, that's for sure! The only thing that...perhaps I was a bit jealous of, was that everyone here had their wolves by the time they turned sixteen. Well, lucky me, I'm nineteen and still... no wolf! However, on certain days when I felt particularly sorry for myself, my mother always told me that maybe it was a good thing... she seemed to think my wolf would be much like my grandmother's, dangerous but desirable to any wolf pack. I was incredibly close to her growing up, but I only saw her wolf once and that was only because of a threat closing in on us. I carelessly strolled into the dark forest one day, a forest we were forbidden to ever cross... I mean, I was only five! I didn't know just how serious that rule was! But my grandmother had chased after me and as she was leading us back to our land, she sensed rogues... then in an instant, she shifted into her wolf. It was huge! Bigger than any I'd ever seen... bigger than our alpha or luna. She was dark grey like a heavy, clouded moon with a thick strip of black running through her tail and the whitest, misty eyes that shone brightly against her fur.
I was in awe of her wolf... that was until she was banished from our pack and left to live her life beneath the forest border. I was ten when she was ripped away from me and I've missed her every day since. Whenever my uncle was in one of his moods, I always used to hide out at her home and, on occasion, so did my mother.
It was rumoured all over the pack that my grandmother had attacked a man as he claimed she was acting almost senile and reckless. Because my father is the chief palace guard to the alpha, he decided to banish her instead of imprisoning her in the cells. Apparently, from the horror stories I've heard, that would have been a worse fate than being exiled. That was supposed to be the alpha's way of doing 'a favour' for my father and his wife's mother.
When I was sixteen, my mother had told me a completely different version of the events. The alpha's cousin, Christian, had tried to force himself upon my grandmother, not taking no for an answer... when she felt threatened and with no other opportunity to escape from him,, she lashed out into her wolf, catching his face with his claws! Of course, Christian denied it all and went with his own story and being the cousin to our alpha... well, he had a winning chance on his side!
Unfortunately, even though she left, the story didn’t, and it had followed me around ever since. No real friends, not that any of them have ever been ones I'd choose to be friends with. But every now and then it does tend to feel... lonely.
I often feel so different compared to everyone else here, they all just fit right in and I… well, I definitely don’t. I’m constantly reminded of what little use I am to this pack. But all of that I had learned to accept, even if it did hurt at times. However, now, I am expected to keep a secret…. One that no one can know, which I know is harder for my father to keep hidden than it is for me or mother. My poor uncle…. As time went on, the more he had begun to lose his mind and his ability to control his wolf’s anger merged with his human emotions. Ever since his mate died last year, he’s never fully recovered.
He was so happy before, always smiling, laughing. He was actually quite a practical joker, and I always loved his visits with his mate Anya. She was pretty, very quiet and mostly shy, but she beamed around him. But losing your mate would drive you mad. Fated or chosen, once that bond is made… that’s it! Not only does your human part feel that loss, but it’s doubled with your wolf’s turmoil too, and this morning, he had one of his episodes again. So far, it only tends to be first thing in the morning or in his sleep, which means, as for now, no one suspects a thing…. I’d hate to think where they’d lock him up to if they ever found out, or perhaps they’d banish him like they did with my grandma. My family is full of hurt and pain, but somehow, every time my parents step outside the door, they manage to put on a smile as if they have no care in the world. Me, on the other hand, I don’t…. I don’t actually remember the last time I truly smiled or laughed. So, as much as my parents try to encourage me, I wouldn’t fake a smile for anyone in this pack!
"I wish I could fly away like you". I said to the bird who seemed to coo in reply as he looked at me. "Stay still, just a little longer, I need to draw your tail! You have the silkiest feathers."
"Are you talking to a bird?" A deep voice appeared from behind me, scaring away my pretty little bird. I whipped my head around to see the alpha's son, dripping wet from the lake, in nothing but his shorts.
"Why wouldn't I? He's probably a better listener than anyone else around here!" I retorted back as I quickly closed my sketch book.
"What's in there?" He asked, pointing at it with a little nod.
"That is none of your business".
"Mmm, well that's not very courteous". He said with a shocked grin.
"Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to grovel at your feet and insist you disturb my peace and quiet?" I answered sarcastically.
"Well, you could try to be a bit friendlier... that'll be a start!" He grinned.
"I think I'll save that for people that have earned it!"
For some reason, he took that last comment as a cue to kneel down and continue this random and pointless exchange.
"Raven, we've known each other our whole lives! Are you telling me, that after all these years, I still haven't earned it?"
"Wow! Have you honestly forgotten the way you and your little group of followers used to treat me in school? You're not even close to earning it!"
"Raven, I never did anything to you in school".
"Writing stuff on my locker, pushing me, calling me names! that was all just a dream of mine was it?"
"I never did any of those things, I actually used to try and talk to you. Maybe my friends were like that to you, but you can't blame me for what they did!"
"Well, I remember you definitely took part in the laughing at me.. so that's just as bad!"
With that I got to my feet and decided I'd rather be in my bedroom alone, than here talking to him!
"Where are you going?" He asked with a disappointed frown.
"Home! I'd like to say this has been fun but... it was actually rather irritating!"
"Good to see you too, Raven!" He called out as I already began to walk away.
I took the long walk home, just to pass time and I didn't want to but shut off from the sun just yet. I walked past the pack gymnasium and training fields and rolled my eyes as I saw groups of people running the tracks together, pretending to be the best of friends... so encouraging and supportive... that is until one of them is the root of the packs gossip!
"Ravey, Ravey! No wolf today?" Violet chuckled with one of her friends as they walked past. Flicking her hair, whilst trying to walk through the grass in her stilettoes.
"Vile, Viley, No clothes today?" I called back with a wide grin causing her chuckle to fall short and her face turn into a scowl.
I wasn't exactly covered from head to toe in clothes with my top and shorts but at least I didn't constantly have my nipples almost spilling out of my tops like she did, and her skirt was barely covering her buttocks. She still dressed just like she did in high school, everything about her was exactly the same!
The moment I got home, I quietly turned my key in the lock, stepped in, making sure not to step on the creaky floorboards. Tip toed along through the kitchen, into the hallway and hurriedly ran up the stairs. I put my sketch book in my bag ready for college tomorrow, changed out of my damp sweaty clothes and as I slipped into a loose fitting dress, I could hear him, faintly through the wall, the quiet, muffled sobs.
I walked along to his bedroom door and gave it a little tap. “Uncle? Uncle Filton, it’s Raven. Can I come in?” I asked as my heart sunk for him.
Without any reply, I took it upon myself to go in anyway. I creaked open the door, to see his thick drapes shut as he tried to cover the room in darkness, shutting out any sunlight trying to peep through the window.
I didn’t know what to say as I sat down on the bed next to him, whilst he continued to weep into his pillow…. I never knew what to say. I never knew love in that kind of way, so what could an inexperienced nineteen year old say or do to ease his pain?
So, I just sat there, with my hand supportively on his shoulder, keeping him company while he cried his never ending tears.
“I love the colours, very vibrant Raven. I’m looking forward to seeing it when it’s finished”. Professor Colin commented as he stopped at my easel.“Thank you, professor”. I replied as I tried to concentrate on the little flower petals I was painting. I was a little perfectionist when it came to my art. Although I wasn’t ‘out there’ and overly imaginative like the other students, creating weird and different images all mixed together. I was always more of a nature girl, anything scenic like a meadow, or a deer standing under the trees in the rain with its fawn. Or fresh raindrops glistening off of a giant spider’s web. Some of the students here and even when I was at high school would call it boring, but I call it real! Beautiful life!“Five minutes left, Raven”. He informed me as he slowly ambled to observe everyone else’s work.I finished the petals and sat back to look over my work, only to see I still had over a quarter to finish.“Ooh, another field!” Jaqueline ridiculed as she w
“Oh, come on Raven, please don’t be difficult!”. Mum groaned as she held up the dresses for me to choose.“How many times do I need to tell you I’m not going!” “It’s just one evening. One evening, Raven, and that’s it, you don’t have to bother for another year”. “Ugghh”. I growled in my throat with frustration. “Mum, what is the point in me going? I don’t have anyone there to talk to, it’ll be boring, besides no one’s even going to notice if I’m not there”. “Oh, for goodness sake, you’re not a child, so stop huffing and just pick one! Just do this for me and your dad. As it is, we have to come up with some lie as to why he’s not going, it’ll just be even more suspicious if we have to lie for you too”. “You don’t need to lie for me, just simply tell them, I don’t want to go”. “Raven! I am asking you to do this!” I exhaled in a humpf as I got off my bed. “Ok, fine, that one then!”. I told her as I pointed to a long strapless black dress. “At least with it being black, hopefully I
I quickly walked over to the dimly lit pond and sat behind a white wicker archway that was covered in vines and roses, enough to keep me out of view as I just stared at the water in front of me. I tried to shake away what the Luna said but it had already had my skin tingling with nerves. It wasn’t so much the insults that bothered me. Oh, Raven the girl with no wolf.. yea, yea, I’ve heard it all before! The only thing rummaging around in my head right now was what she said about making me leave. My parents would never allow me to just up and leave on my own, not unless it was my own choice, and I had another pack I wanted to explore and stay with. If they knew… if they knew I was forced to leave, without a doubt they would leave too. They’d uproot their whole lives here, just because of me! Wolfless, burden me!Maybe that’s one of the reasons my heart always feels so heavy every time I see my uncle. Every time he has an angry outburst or cries in the night, he apologises over and over
“Good morning”. Uncle greeted as I came down the stairs and followed him into the kitchen.“Good morning”. I replied. “Has dad gone already?” “Already? Raven it’s eleven o’clock. He went hours ago!” “Oh! I didn’t realise I’d slept in”. I told him as I poured myself some juice and took a seat at the table.“No college today?” “No, that’s tomorrow. But today we’re supposed to work on our own pieces, it’s part of our coursework”. “Oh.. and what piece are you working on?” “Actually, it’s a raven. I saw him at the lake the other day, but I haven’t finished yet”. “Well, now that’s suitable, isn’t it”. He smiled as he leaned against the counter. “A raven by Raven”. “Well, he was beautiful, I couldn’t resist”. “Your mother thought so too, that’s why she named you after them. So, anyway, how was the party?” “Umm, you know, the usual”. “That boring, huh?. He sniggered. “Any problems?” “No.. no, nothing much”. “Hmm… is that so?” “What?” I asked as he was looking at me suspiciously.
After two days of going through all the files of the local packs, I had one, maybe two at a push that sounded safe enough for me to run to. However, whether they’d allow a wolfless member in was still a shot in the dark. All I could do, was hope they’d take some kind of pity on me.I dragged my ass out of bed and rushed to get dressed for college. I had been up most of the night tossing and turning, convincing myself that today was the day! Tonight, at dinner, I’d discuss my ‘plan’ to explore to my parents and, hopefully, Uncle’s sheepish looks he’s had the last couple of days, won’t give anything away.“Any luck with finding a plan B?” He asked as I darted into the kitchen to grab a banana. Whispering, so mum in the next room didn’t hear.“Kind of”. I shrugged. “Maybe two… And I’m certain they’ll accept me”. I slightly lied. The guilt of hiding this from my parents was starting to get to him. I could see the worry in his eyes and he’d constantly convince me to tell them.“I’ve left a
I had woken up early the next morning and as I heard dad leave for the palace and busy in the kitchen packing her lunch for work, I quietly heaved a suitcase out from under my bed.I dragged it into my en-suite to hide it from mum as I started thrifting through my things, deciding what was the most important to pack. I folded each item and squished it in as tightly as I could, so I could fit most of my clothes in. I looked over at my bedside table as my eyes wandered over the collection of photo frames I had that held pictures of me with my parents, my uncle and two of me with my grandmother. I grabbed one of my thick woollen scarfs and carefully wrapped it around all of the frames, not wanting to leave any behind. I gulped down a lump in my throat at the thought of never being face to face with my parents or Uncle Frank again. But, today had to be my last day and tomorrow morning before dad leaves for work, I’d say my last goodbyes with pretence of excitement to be leaving. I knew th
“RAVEN!” Leo called out, just as I got to the palace doors. I turned around to see him strolling through the grand entrance hall with a smile on his face. “I hope you feel better now”. He said as he stood in front of me in his white shirt and neatly pressed black trousers, and that was the first time I had ever been able to envision him as being our future alpha.Without thinking, I suddenly flung my arms around his shoulders in an embrace. His hands lightly touched my lower back. Just as I realised what I’d done, I quickly pulled away with an embarrassed look, causing him to chuckle. “Well, I’ll take that as you do feel better!”. “I do, Leo. Thank you so much for doing that, I feel like I can actually breathe now without this big lie hanging over my head”. “So, are you going to tell your parents you’re not going away now?”“Well, I’ll tell them I don’t plan on going any time soon”. “Good. Now what are you going to do for the rest of the day, now you don’t have to pack?” “Umm, I g
I woke up and an instant smile fell across my face. I still felt that weight being lifted and the lie vanishing. I hopped out of bed excitedly and ran to uncle’s room. I tapped on his door, hoping he was already awake and in one of his calm moods.“Come in”. He called out sleepily. I quickly went inside and sat at the edge of his bed grinning from ear to ear.“What are you so happy about?” He asked with a dubious look, rubbing his tired eyes.“Well, I thought you’d like to know that I don’t have to leave anymore!”. “What?” He asked, immediately sitting up with anticipation. “How?” “I had a meeting with the alpha. He let me explain things and said I could stay”. “No way!”. He smiled. “Raven, I am so bloody glad. But you never mentioned you were going to speak with him”. “Well, I hadn’t planned to. Leo set up the meeting and, of course, the Luna was there”. I told him with a roll of my eyes when I mentioned Addison.“Wait, Leo set it up?” “Mmmhmm”. I nodded.“Well, I didn’t see tha