Chapter 1: Damian Fritzwalt

What is this? A-am I in our old house? That's my mother, and me? Why am I here? Why am I watching events from my past?

I was thinking deeply when suddenly, I felt something weird.

"Woah, Woah, wait! What's going on?" My entire body, particularly my soul feels diverted towards myself in the past. Now I'm inside another body, and I'm looking through the eyes of my past self. Right now, it feels like the feelings I have are synced to the feelings I had before, it feels like I've been reincarnated in my past. Except that I'm just a first point of view spectator of myself from the past. I'm inside me, yet I can't do anything.

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I was about to leave when my mother grabbed my clothes and tried to pull me back to her. She looks so feeble, her dress is all worn out, her hair… I've never seen it fixed even once. She's always working hard to get us out of this hell. But it's all futile. It's impossible. I just can't take it any longer.

Her eyes are now dripping in tears, holding and trying to not let me go. "Son! Please! Just don't leave us here, think about your siblings, all four of them will surely miss you! Think about how Jane will cry with you not around!" She said as she kept pulling me inside of our small house made up of leftover woods from our neighbor. She would pick those pieces of wood, and hammer them together. Regardless of its appearance, we just need a structure that we can call home.

"Mom! Please! Let me be! I promise to come back once I finished studying and at least have a decent job to support all of you… Y-you, don't get it… Just you collecting those junks, and selling them won't do us any good," I said as I grabbed her hand that is currently clinging to my clothes and throw it away from me. I closed my eyes while tears are slowly clotting. I feel my heart beating so fast, in pain, in hesitance, in regret, but it's doesn't mean that if it hurts, it's wrong. I have to do this regardless. 

"Your father left us! When we met at the bar, he promised me he will give me a good life, that he will never leave me once I bear his son in me," She said as she used her palms to wipe her tears off. "Now, even you? Even you will leave us?"

I took a deep breath and said, "It's different, mom, it's different. I'll leave you for good, and I will come back once I reach my goals." I walked closer to her and clutched her hands. I stared at her eyes with my utmost sincerity and said. "Just let me be, I will come back, I promise."

I grabbed my things and tried to walk away. My mother tried to stop me again, but it's useless. I already made up my mind.

As I wandered far away from our house, I can still hear my siblings crying, in anger, resentment, sadness, and in love.

'I have to bear all that sin in me.'

Walking away from family is hard. But knowing that if you stay with them, waking up every morning, unsure if you have food to eat and survive, is also challenging. However, seeing your family struggling to know that you can't do anything to escape poverty is probably the hardest. I'm just fourteen years old. When teens usually play games with their friends, attend school, and bond with their families, I am being forced by society to leave home and work for myself. Life is definitely unfair.

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*Five Years Later*

"Congratulations, Damon! As expected, you are the class valedictorian," Sir Josh said as he smiled and shook hands with me. "What are your plans for college?"

I frowned my eyebrows as I looked up in the sky and said. "Maybe economics?"

"Why?"

"Well, I have some knowledge about being a car mechanic, so I'm thinking of establishing a business that is somehow related to that field."

"Oh, that's quite good! I look forward to your future!" He smiled and tapped my shoulder.

I bowed to him and said. "Thanks, sir!" I kept on smiling at him as I wave my hands to say goodbye.

As I walked away, I noticed that the school today is indeed vivacious. The event's stadium is deafening. The students seem to enjoy this unforgettable memory with their friends and their family. I smiled, thinking, what if my mom sees me here, graduating from high school as the valedictorian: an achiever and a soon-to-be multi-millionaire?

'She will be very proud of me!'

On second thought, maybe not, I guess she'll resent me for what I have done.

'What a bittersweet thought it is.'

I was walking and about to leave when suddenly someone lumped on my shoulder. "Hey! Damian, where are you going! Come on! Let's celebrate!" I immediately tried to look who's that and unfortunately, it's Marvin.

"I ain't going anywhere."

He jogged me and said, "Oh come on, man! I've been waiting for this for about a year now. I thought maybe you'll hang out with us since iiiiiit's…" He even spread out his arms slantwise as if presenting something. "Graduation day!"

I just facepalmed and shook my head off. "You're awkward Marvin, go away, move! I have something to do."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, got something to do, I'm busy, I must get home fast," He said as if he's trying to imitate me. "You always say that. Why are you always in a rush? Don't tell me there's really something going between you and that old lady in your apartment," He said with a sardonic smile.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Marvin, I work for her to stay there for free." I looked at him badly as I jogged him so that I can pass through.

He followed me and blocked my way again, and said. "Come on, bro, just this once, I feel bad if I just let you not being able to experience what it's like to be a teenager."

I stopped walking and stared at him for a moment, "Really, Marvin?" This time I raised my voice. "Please, please just scram! Don't tell me what to do. Unlike you, I'm a very busy person.  Obviously, I know shits better than you do." I turned my back on him and continued walking. This time, Marvin didn't follow me. But from behind, I heard him saying, "One day, you'll regret it, Damian!"

I bit my lips and smiled.

'I know, I already have too many of those.' I whispered to myself.

Marvin is my friend, well… at least in school. He's my friend along with the other three, so there are five of us in total. All of them are outstanding students, but not as exceptional as me. Unlike me, they spend their time usually playing their games, hanging out, and bonding with each other. Their life is relatively easy, and here I am, living alone, working hard all by myself. People like them will never understand the struggle I've been through.

Five years ago, I left my family. I started my life working at a car repair and auto shop as an errand boy. That time I barely got a dollar every day, enough to feed myself. Good thing they at least provide me water to drink and a place to stay. It may not be enough to call home, but at least enough as a place to survive. At the very least, it's way better than our house.

I work there every day from morning till evening. Luckily, none of them abuses me. They even taught me a few things about car repair and car parts. I quickly learned all those through lessons and observations. A year later, I started working as a full-time mechanic. They even allowed and trusted me to work on more complicated works. That time, I started to earn at least ten dollars a day. My work somehow satisfies many customers that they even gave me many tips. On some lucky days, I make at least fifty dollars. I don't have food, clothing, or rent to take care of since they were all providing those for me. With their help, I saved a lot of money during those years to proceed in continuing my studies.

After a year, when I earned enough, I bid goodbye to the people who took good care of me. I was sad and so they were. I said that I have to leave to continue my life as a student. They agreed and willingly sent me off.

When I left, I realized I do not have any place to stay. It's scary to live on the streets. I could save at least six thousand dollars on my two years at work, but I know I shouldn't recklessly spend it. Back then, I was wandering around the streets, and luckily I found a free library of different stories, subjects, courses, and such. On the same day, I also found an old apartment with no customers. An old lady owned the apartment, and I used that opportunity and offered the old lady help to clean the entire apartment and improve it to attract customers in exchange for staying there for free. She agreed to my offer, and at that moment, I now have a free place to stay and a free place to review for the upcoming class opening.

I'm such a lucky guy.

If God is real, this time, I'll take back what I deserve. I'll definitely get what he wasn't able to give me.

I was lost in my thoughts, drowned by the mix emotions that I didn't notice that I'm already outside the campus when suddenly...

I feel like the whole place I'm watching is distorting like an enormous bubble twirling. My entire body feels like being absorbed by a malignant force. Everything in front of me shifted and changed to a completely different place.

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The place where everything started.