Chapter 4

TASHA

"Tasha!"

The manly voice snapped out my name like a whip and when my eyes flew open, it was to a loud, sharp scream of a baby.

For a second, I didn't breathe. I just lay there in the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Was this the afterlife?

Is this what death feels like?

Do people get stuck reliving the worst parts of their past?

But everything felt... real.

Too real.

The air, the sheets, the faint smell of milk, the grogginess after a night's sleep.

And then I turned my head.

I nearly jumped when I saw baby Tamrine awake beside me, screaming.

I froze for a moment. My throat closed up because he looked so small, like I birthed him no more than a week ago.

"This can't be real," I whispered. "It can't."

I slowly sat up, picking him and patting his back until he calmed down.

My head felt tight, like the room was tilting. A strong wave of deja vu hit me so hard I almost gagged.

I've been here before. I know this day. I know this moment.

I got off the bed and stumbled to the mirror, lifting my shirt, expecting to see what was left of my bosom after the doctors had tried to save me last night. I was expecting to see scars and burns, the mess that came from last night when I died.

But there was nothing.

Just smooth skin. No bruises and no blood.

What the fuck was going on?

What was happening to me? Had all those years, all those experiences been a dream?

No way.

There was no way it had all been a fucking dream?

I looked around frantically, then I grabbed my phone from the bedside locker and checked the date.

8th September, 2018.

“2018”

My knees nearly buckled in shock.

I stared at the screen, my pulse beating inside my skull.

No. No.

This was impossible.

This had to be a joke.

Why would I be here? Why was I in the past, seven years ago?

Was this death?

Just then, the door opened.

Kirk stepped in, smiling. He looked a lot younger too.

"Have you made up your mind yet? I've been waiting for an answer."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused, tense.

He gave me a strange look. "The scholarship, Tasha. Did you forget already? We talked about it last night."

I felt like I'd been hit with ice cold water. And that's when I remembered everything.

This was the week I got the scholarship and today was the day Kirk asked me to give it up and stay home with Tamrine while Violet chased her own future. I died because of everything that started here.

A fit of anger seized me but I willed myself to calm down immediately.

I pinched myself to wake up from whatever wild dream this was, but it only hurt.

"So...?" Kirk asked, pulling me out of my sea of thoughts.

I forced a small smile despite the rage I felt inside. "Sorry... I was just tired. I didn't sleep well."

Just then a soft knock landed on the door.

A few seconds later, Violet walked in with a warm smile that made my skin crawl, cluckling ruefully.

"Hey guys." she waved, smiling before she walked over and for no reason, hugged me. "Thank you so much."

My brows furrowed as I pulled back, full of dread. "What for?"

Her brows slanted in confusion as she glanced at Kirk and then she slowly looked at me and asked. "About the Luna Academy scholarship. Kirk said you agreed to let me go-"

Kirk cut in, speaking to me. "I just think Violet deserves it more, you know. You'll have more time with the baby."

Oh.

There it was.

The moment I destroyed my own future for people who never cared.

The moment I handed my dream to the woman who would ruin and end my life.

I straightened up. "Actually," I said softly, "I plan to go."

Their smiles froze instantly.

"Tasha," Kirk snapped. "Don't be selfish. Violet needs this more than you. You should be taking care of your son. Stop thinking only about yourself."

I felt disgust crawl up my throat, but I didn't look away. I didn't bow my head this time. "Your grandmother gave me this opportunity, it would be an insult to give it away."

Violet immediately started crying. "I'm sorry... I just... I don't have anyone... I thought maye..."

Kirk wrapped an arm around her and glared at me. "Heartless," he muttered. "Manipulative. You offered it to her first, and now you're changing stories?"

I didn't answer him. I could only wonder if this was real, because if it was, if I was really getting a second chance to correct the mistakes that'd led to my demise, I'd make sure I didn't fail this time.

Kirk sighed angrily. "There's a party tonight. Don't be late."

"What party?" I asked.

His eyes widened like I was crazy. "The party your father arranged for birthing my heir. Don't pretend you forgot. You forced me into this whole mess anyway."

My lips parted slowly and the words came out before I could even stop them. "I can break up with you if you want,"

Both of them froze. Again.

But the spell was broken almost immediately as Kirk laughed under his breath. "Stop acting. It doesn't suit you."

He dragged Violet out with him, still promising her he would "fix it."

When the door finally slammed shut, my whole body was shaking because the memories were slamming into me, all those years of pain, humiliation and betrayal.

This time... this time I saw it clearly.

Violet had been planning my downfall from the start.

Kirk never loved me, in fact, he loathed me.

And someone, someone I didn't know wanted me dead too.

Fate had given me a second chance, and I would make them all pay.

Every single one of them.