Reborn Beyond the Silence

An immense pain is tearing my body apart. My head is buzzing like a train at supersonic speed… A bright light floods my vision like the edge of a dagger. I try to realize what is happening.

The monitors around my bed are beeping and buzzing aggressively… the smell of the hospital invades my lungs… I look around, and yes, I am in a hospital bed, I have an intravenous drip in my hand, an oxygen mask, and it feels as if that train ran over me, smashing my brain with its noise.

Why am I here? What happened? Suddenly, my hands fly to my abdomen, which is burning with pain. Empty. EMPTY? My child? MY BABY? WHERE IS HE?

I try to scream, but not a single sound comes out of my throat. I try to press the red button, but my body won't cooperate.

No one comes, no one explains what happened. Time passes, and I feel like hours have gone by.

Suddenly, I hear hurried footsteps in the hallway that stop at the door of my room, then the door opens and Diana, my soulmate, enters the room. She is scared, breathing hard, looking at me with a heavy pain in her eyes. Her mouth opens and closes.

— Diana, where is my child? Do you know anything? — Evelyne, how are you feeling? — Everything hurts. What do you know about my child? — You had an accident and you were rushed into emergency surgery. You were in critical condition, you almost died, you lost a lot of blood. — My child? Where is he? — ……………………………………………………… — Please tell me, or call someone to take me to him, I feel like I can't breathe until I see him… Diana… please… help me…

Heavy tears began to roll down my cheeks. My child, he must be here next to me… must… must… The air stopped, my eyes stopped seeing anything, my body stopped, limp. Everything—pains, trembling—everything stopped.

I heard Diana's cry from afar, the monitors were buzzing in an aggressive frenzy, doctors and nurses rushed into the room, shouting…. I plunged into total darkness and knew nothing more.

It is good in that darkness. Nothing hurts anymore. My body is light. My soul is at peace. I am far, far away from everything and everyone, wrapped in a fluffy, color-free cloud. It really is very good. I almost want to stay here. It is much easier.

But, almost immediately, I am pulled back out: the monitors have quieted down, air has entered my lungs once again, and all, absolutely all of my pain has returned.

— Miss Gray, please calm down! I am Dr. Anderson, your physician. Yesterday you underwent a very risky, laborious surgery, from which you need to recover. — Doctor, my child. Where is my child? — Miss Gray, there is no other way to tell you than directly. Following the accident you suffered, your child did not survive. I am extremely sorry, but this is the truth.

Now I understand. Ahhhh… Someone or something ripped my soul out and threw it away like an old rag, so far that it could never return.

I relived everything: Adrian's shouts, the insults, when he pushed me hard to get past me, rushed down the stairs, and left for the company party. Pushed by him, I lost my balance and fell down the stairs, all the way to the bottom, while he walked out of the house without looking back.

The pains started immediately. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. I crawled toward the phone in the hallway, but my strength was failing me, blood began to pool around me, I squeezed my thighs together as if I could stop the bleeding. Strong contractions were tearing through my belly, my spine, my breath. I finally reached the phone, leaving a wide trail of blood behind me. I had no strength left. With my last ounces of strength, I dialed the emergency number, but I collapsed without being able to say a single word. After a while, I felt myself being lifted, but I plunged into darkness.

I woke up in the hospital room only to learn that I had lost my much-loved and long-awaited little one. It would have been better if I had lost my life too. Maybe it would have been better.

I fell into a deep apathy. Nothing interested me, I didn't want to eat, I slept constantly, I stared out the window, but I saw nothing….

Four days later, my husband, Adrian, walked into the room. Perfectly calm, in an elegantly tailored custom suit, with his hair perfectly styled, perfumed, as if he were going to a banquet.

Clinging to his arm accompanied him Clara, his latest mistress of six months. Blonde, a classic beauty, very elegant in her red dress that left nothing to the imagination, excessive makeup, her long nails digging into the fabric of Adrian's suit.

— Why did you come, Adrian? — I came to tell you that I am not paying for your hospitalization. If you wanted to throw yourself down the stairs and lose our child, that is your problem. I won't give a single penny for anything related to you. — Actually, it's very good that you came.

I reached out, pulled open the nightstand drawer, and took out the folder containing the divorce papers I had already signed. Diana had brought them yesterday from my lawyer. I needed to end this nightmare of a marriage as quickly as possible, while I still had my sanity intact.

Adrian and Clara widened their eyes in shock. He looked deeply astonished; she looked thrilled, finally having a clear path to marriage.

— No, I am not going to divorce you. Never, or only when I want to. You don't get to decide that. — No problem. If you don't sign here, we'll go to court and we'll divorce anyway. — What is this? Do you even have money for a lawyer? I will destroy you, do you hear me, I will destroy you! Don't you mess with me, waitress, with my lawyers, with my money—I am among the richest men in the city. You are a nobody, a complete zero! — Watch your mouth, Adrian. All I want right now is a divorce. What I do with my life is strictly my business. Sign and leave. I don't want you to be part of my life anymore, and I never want to see you again.

He left without signing, threatening me that I had killed his child. What he didn't know was that I had already secured the security footage of the push that caused my fall, along with the insults he screamed at me. Everything was already logged with my lawyer, alongside all the evidence of his adultery: hotel reservations, dinners for two at elite restaurants, luxury vacations, limited-edition jewelry given to various mistresses...

After they left, I took out my phone and dialed a number that wasn't saved in my contacts. It is permanently etched into my memory.

— I miss you, all of you, my life! Tomorrow, I want to come home.

A harsh yet warm voice replied:

— It's about time, my dear. We miss you terribly too! Tomorrow at 10:00 AM, a car will be waiting in front of the hospital.

Stay tuned! I'll be back in 3 days. I look forward to seeing you! I write for you!