7

On the cusp of a dream, my feet hit the hardwood, and I walked to my door. I was only going to get a glass of water, but when I peered down the dark corridor and found it empty and still, fate tempted me to walk a little further. All I wanted was a breath of fresh air.

David’s truck wasn’t back yet. Catrina wasn’t home yet either. I slid the porch door open, wary of waking Colt, and stepped outside.

A deluge of night smells enveloped me. The dewy aftermath of a humid summer day made everything sweet and wet. It was the dirt that I could smell most strongly; fresh and damp, soil in a garden threaded with bitter notes of weeds and worms. Standing on the porch, the warm wind grazed my bare arms and fingered through my hair. My cravings magnified, pushing me into the grass so I could feel it under my feet. Smells from the dark fringe of the forest ahead lured me away. Dirt and dew, fungi and flowers, fresh animal tracks weaving around trees. I wasn’t going to be out long. I just wanted enough of the forest to sate my restlessness, then I’d be able to sleep.

I hadn’t anticipated how dark it would be out there. It was unnerving once I made it into the tree line. The forest transformed into a landscape of obscure silhouettes scarcely lit by starlight, rustling sounds I couldn’t pinpoint, cracking twigs, coyote shrieks in the distance. The lights from the manor were lost among the leaves. I didn’t know what direction I was walking.

The sensations of the forest were so intoxicating that after some minutes, going home became less of a priority; I tried not to worry about it. Instead, I savored the smells. The texture of dirt and grass under my feet. The sight of stars above me twinkling in the black expanse.

What if I kept walking and just never went back to Hexen Manor?

This freedom that gripped me invoked dozens of new possibilities. I was alone out here. I could keep walking until the sun rose and see how far I’d gone. Maybe I could get far enough away that David would never find me. I didn’t know why that was appealing; after all, he was my father, and Hexen Manor was my home. It was safe there. This wilderness was treacherous and could kill me instantly, yet… I wanted it so much more than the sequestered life I currently had.

When something moved behind me, I spun around to look, but didn’t speak. Freedom made me feel bolder. Like I didn’t need to worry—I was just imagining it. It was just the sounds of the forest. I kept walking, but there was a heaviness in the way the leaves shuddered around me. Heavy feet crackling twigs. Heavy bodies parting the bushes. And suddenly, among the forest smells, pungent miasmatic odors.

I thought of the dangerous other shifters David warned me about. They couldn’t be out here so close to Hexen Manor, in the heart of Dalesbloom territory, could they? I held my breath and stared until shadows in the forest bent, moving. Not with the natural sway of trees or bushes, but like hulking figures, striding limbs. “Who’s out there?” I ventured, fighting the shake from my voice.

Nothing answered but a low growl.

I wasn’t alone.

Immediately, I regretted coming out here—disobeying David, entering the forest at night, thinking I was brave enough to be free—I was wrong. I bolted away from the moving shadows but couldn’t see enough in the dark to navigate. My legs crashed through the undergrowth and my feet battled thistles and sticks. Every scratch made me whimper, worsened by my fear that stripped me of all rational thinking. All I could think of was getting out of the trees and into the moonlight.

“Moon Goddess,” I cried between breaths, begging for guidance home. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! Please don’t let me die out here!”

Stupid of me to think I’d be granted mercy after such disobedience.

Brambles snagged my foot. The pain fired up through my legs and toppled me to the ground, and then the pain continued all through me. My body was hot and cold at the same time. Fear blinded me, urging me to thrash, to fight the unseen enemy consuming me. A dark maw eclipsed the moon until my vision blacked out completely, and suddenly I went unconscious.

Glimmers of a pale figure materialized in my dream. Soft fur and celestial white eyes beckoned me forward. My dream continued without me, as if my soul had left my body behind in search of another vessel, following a smell…

Blood and sweat.

Those fleeting glimpses were the only traces of the dream I didn’t block out.

Chapter 4: Gavin

Sounds of crackling fire infused the otherwise silent campsite. Shredded fabric tinged with blood was caught in the grass and bushes, and metal rods and a slickened knife glinted on the ground. Orange glow flickered against the trees and cast a long shadow beneath my feet, where above, I crouched with my head in the cooler, crunching through the plastic packaging of the campers’ food. The blood mostly smelled like my own; I remembered clamping down on a sleeve, only to be stabbed in the gums and sliced on the shoulder with the knife. I’d let the campers flee after the pain gave me a flash of clarity, but the instant they were gone and the smell of cooking meat took my attention, hunger enveloped me. I couldn’t stop myself. I ate everything I could see.

The sting of my bloodied gums only flared up after the carnage. Plastic was not easy on the teeth. If I’d been thinking rationally, I wouldn’t have reduced myself to devouring the campers’ food like a mutt with its snout in the trash. I was embarrassed to pull my head out of the cooler and realize the damage I’d caused. I couldn’t see much of the campsite by then. My vision was blurry and dark, my mouth tasted of blood. Rational thought felt just out of reach and I was too dizzy to grasp it. Nothing made sense until a light materialized out of the darkness ahead of me and I was transfixed, hoping that following it would wake me from my haze.

Stepping slowly into the shadows, I watched the light transform, pieces of moonlight concentrating into long legs and a slender body, gleaming and wispy fur flowing into the dark. Deep inside, I knew who this was, her eyes white as the moon itself; the Moon Goddess appeared before me, shepherding me from my destruction and back into the night. I prayed that she would snap me back into consciousness, but as my mind sleepily wandered, my body continued to move without my command. I was helpless, the same way I always was in my wolf. Helpless to lash out, helpless to eat, helpless to follow… until I realized where the Moon Goddess was leading me. Moonlight illuminated the clearing where a heap of fur was tangled in the bushes. Pale brown and liquid gold coloured her agouti pelt in markings I’d never seen before. Gentle whining tugged me closer, hinting to me that she was hurt, and I didn’t know if what I felt for the injured creature was hunger or compassion. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel until I got close enough to breathe in her soothing lavender smell and glimpse her woeful green eyes, latching onto me like she saw who I really was.

I knew who she was. And I knew what this meant.