"What did you say?" I ask genuinely shocked. He didn't just do that to me.
"I mean it." He says and I can hear the smile in his voice.
"You can't say that about other people's children," I say and he sighs.
"Well, I just feel terrible that I fucked up a good thing. I guess I needed to find a good way to say that." He says and I'm quite not sure what to say to that. Is he trying to apologize right now? "I should have been more patient and understanding of your needs." He says and I remove the phone from my ear. I don't know if I should be listening to this. I feel like I should end the phone call.
"Why are we even talking about this?" I ask placing him on speaker. "I don't think bringing up the past is a good thing anyway," I say hoping he'll stop talking about this.
"Let's just say that I've had time to think and I have seen the error of my ways." He says and my heart sinks. I don't want to hear this right now. I don't care about
"Hey," Shalom says looking back at me. I stare at her not sure what I just heard. Everything in my being wants to demand that she tell me who she was talking with and what the whole conversation was about. I know I heard that guy say my daughter was meant to be his. He woke up a very dark part of me no one want to see. "Hey," I say walking into the room. I sit at the far end of the sofa. I place my hand on Renee's belly as she breathes in and out slowly."How was your day?" She asks after a moment of silence, I can feel her staring at me. I know she's wondering what's going on in my head. The truth is I feel extremely possessive of my family. I don't like the thought of another man imagining himself in my position. I will never let anyone be in my position. This is forever. But at the same time I don't know how to have this conversation with her without letting loose this posesiveness I feel."It was good. I was able to knock off early for the
"I have a request," Kane says after our intense conversation about exes. I know he hasn't said anything bad but I know he has emotions about what Thomas said. I can tell he heard the whole conversation and to be honest I would be pissed if someone said those things about my daughter."Yes?" I ask and he kisses Renee's forehead. I look at him and smile at his daughter."I want to take you on a date tomorrow night," He says and I smile. I didn't expect him to say that. I thought he was going to tell me to stop talking to exes. I was sure he was going to start a serious fight. "Please wear a nice dress and shoes and do the makeup thing by eight." He says and I smile nodding. "Okay," I say shyly. "Do I get to know where we're going?" I ask getting excited. This is going to be our first date since having the baby. I am looking forward to having an adult-only night out."Nope." He says plainly and I laugh."I have to know w
"Thank you for dinner" Shalom says sitting across the table from me. "It was amazing." I smile and nod, "You haven't said much tonight. Are we good?" She says leaning in closer. "I've been having thoughts," I say and she raises her brows at me in question. I smile and she smiles back but she doesn't say anything. "I've had thoughts about us," I add and she sits back looking unsure. "About us?" She asks her voice getting lower."Yes," I say and she nods."Is this about Thomas calling me?"She says sighing I shake my head no."It meant nothing, I don't have any feelings toward him." She says ignoring me. "I have no desire to have him in my life. I hate that he said that about our baby." She says rambling on. I reach into my pocket and take out a ring box and she stops talking the instant that box hits the table. "Oh my..." She says her voice getting high. "I imagined this would go differently. I have a whole thing planned so I can ask you more romantically but I'm so nervous." I say an
A few hours ealier. My mother walks into our bedroom and she sits on the settee at the window. I'm getting ready for my date with Kane. I'm doing my makeup at my beauty corner."Hey mommy" I say looking at her in the mirror. "Hey mommy." She says back at me and I smile. She looks so happy in this moment. Her skin is glowing and her eyes have a little sparkle behind them. She is a far cry from the sick and frail woman I remember. I'm happy she's here to see her granddaughter. There was a time I was sure this would never happen. "Thank you for watching the kids for us tonight." I say and she smiles. I don't know if I would have been comfortable to leave tonight if she wasn't watching my kids. I know Junior and Renee are in good hands with her. We have a nanny coming through to do the haevy lifting so that she doesn't have to but I know she has everything in hand. "You don't have to thank me for taking care of my grand babies." She says waving me away. "I've been telling you to go o
"Hi Noni." Mathew says walking into the living room towards Noni who is holding my daughter. He leans down with arms open to take her from Noni and I hold my breath waiting to see how this will go down. These two haven't seen each other since high school and let's just say the last they saw each other it wasn't pretty. Their breakup was painful to watch.I know Nonin had regrets about the way things went between the two of them."What do you think you're doing?" Noni says looking up at him. Mathew smiles looking at her. I guess I should be glad he's smiling and not argueing with her. I don't want my child to be caught in a back an forth between these two."I'm saying hi, to my beautiful niece." He says taking her. Noni resists for a split second but she gives in and Mathew takes her."Well, hurry up and get her back to me. we're not done with our girl time." She says making a face at him. He chuckles not really listening to w
"Did she fight you?" I ask Kane when he comes back from putting the baby down for the night. Having him on nights like this is always a blessing. He takes care of his daughter so beautifully,He gets into bed and wraps his arms around me. I sigh molding my body into his. I breathe in his sent and smile. I love how this man smells."No. I'm a professional," He says so proud of himself. He's not lying though. Hecan put her to sleep so quickly I just let him do most nights, "How was spending the day with Noni?" He asks burrying his face into my boobs. He loves doing that, especially since my they got bigger."It was intersting." I say thinking of my conversation with her. I feel like she wanted to say more but she stopped herself. I tried to encourage her to talk about what she felt but she didn't open up to me."Oh?" He says already sounding sleepy. How does he expect me to fall asleep in this position? He might be comfpratble but I'
“Not that my opinion counts but I think you should tell him.” Noni says looking at me closely. She stands up from my sofa placing her hands on her waist her face serious. She takes two steps backwards and then she takes three forward. She’s in her thinking mode; she’s looking for to tell me this without sounding judgmental. She’s thoughtful like that. “I don’t think so.” I say looking at her. She frowns at my words and she starts moving backwards again. “Shalom this is a baby we’re talking about here. What’s your plan? Are you going to hide the baby from him?” She asks coming to sit next to me. “I’m not hiding anything from him. He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant. How can I hide something that he doesn’t have prior knowledge of in the first place?” I say and I see the disappointment in her face. “That’s a whole lot of donkey shit and you know it.” She says and I look at her sad. “He deserves to know.” I don’t want to tell Kane. He and I have a complicated situation as is; adding a
“Welcome home.” My cousin Nathan says standing at his guest bedroom door. He looks at me for a long time, silent. He’s looking at me like I’m a stranger. I guess, I kind of am a stranger in a way. We haven’t seen each other in over six years. The last time we saw each other we were young; right at the cusp of becoming young adults. He’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure out who I am; I bet I have the same look on my face. “Thank you for this.” I say gesturing to the room. I walk to the bed and sit down, my body is tired from the flight but my mind is working over time. I’m having sensory overload with being back. My brain is trying to adjust to being back home. It feels like I’m having a culture shock. I know what South Africa is and it shouldn’t scare me but I’ve been away for so long that it feels like I have to relearn everything. My body feels off, I know it’s probably jet lag. “It’s nothing.” He says smiling at me. “I’ll be out of your hair soon,” I say and he shak