The Blood Burden

KAMARI

My father is here.

I haven’t even had the chance to wash off the blood in my hair and the mud on my skin, yet I’m walking down a concrete path to the River Howlers courtyard with Elias by my side.

“He came faster than I expected,” Elias says, glancing at the bloodstained hem of my dress.

“Almost as if he raced here.”

I swallow.

“You mean, almost as if he was waiting by the borders?”

“Yes, like that.” He glances at me again, and I really wish he’ll stop doing that.

“I need to shower.”

“Kamari—“

“I smell like a dungeon. I can’t walk in there looking like this.”

“All these years and you think he’ll care more about what you smell like and less about the fact that you’re alive?”

“You don’t know that.”

“And neither do you,” he says, slowing his pace as the chamber doors draw closer.

“I don’t want to see him,” I whisper, sounding almost breathless as my wolf retreats deeper into my chest.

“He doesn’t hate you, Kamari.”

“Stop saying that.” I snap, wiping my sweaty palms on the front of my dress.

“Slow down,” he hesitates by my side, “you’re shaking…”

“Yes, Elias, I know that.”

He’s right behind these doors. Alpha Griffin. What does he look like now? Older? Taller? Weaker?

I wait for my wolf to respond, but she stays silent, leaving me to wallow in my own discomfort.

My throat feels too dry to swallow, so I turn to the next person who somehow knows what it feels like to be me right now.

“Are you…coming in with me?”

His lips tick in a smile void of amusement.

“Only if you want me to.”

I don’t even hesitate.

“I do…” please.

His eyes search my face for a beat too long, so I tear my gaze away and suck in air stained with wood polish.

“Ready?” He asks.

No. I don’t think I ever will be.

“Yes.” My shoulders sag.

Elias pushes open the doors to the war room.

For a moment, darkness clouds my vision, then my eyes adjust to the darkness…and I see him.

My breath hangs in my throat. The word ‘father’ nearly slips from my lips, but I swallow it down like acid.

The man standing beside the Alpha’s chair is not the father I remember.

There are silver threads scattered through his dark hair now, more than I remember there being.

His shoulders are broader somehow, but they carry a heaviness I don’t remember noticing.

He looks like a man who has spent years carrying something no one else sees—a pain only a child could cause.

When his gaze rests on me, I realize something that hurts far more than his anger ever would have.

He looks…older.

My wolf stirs, urging me to back away and run.

Somehow, I stay on my feet.

“Breathe…” Elias whispers.

I try to suck in a breath—and fail when my father’s voice bounces off the walls and hits me square in the chest.

“Kamari. Come.”

Oh dear…

My feet move as if on command, and I glance at Elias stepping in stride beside me.

Thank you…

His scent grows stronger with each step I take, and I can sense that he's distressed.

I search for the anger, the blame, the punishment simmering under the surface, but all I get is distress.

It pokes so many holes in my lungs that when we’re five feet from him, I’m certain my face is paper white.

That’s when Elias cuts in front of me and slows down, forcing me to do the same.

“Alpha,” he bows, “greetings from the River Howlers, I present to you—“

“I believe my daughter can speak for herself.” My father cuts him off, gaze shifting to me.

My wolf stirs again, urging me to look away.

I keep my eyes on him and step forward after Elias.

What should I call him?

Alpha? Father?

I bow, hyper conscious of the dry blood in my hair.

“Father,” my voice fades, “greetings.”

“Praise to the moon goddess,” he mutters under his breath, “my child has returned.”

Something cold washes over me, sending an instant shiver down my spine. I feel my wolf rousing even as I straighten up.

Breathe…

Apologize to him. He knows why you ran. Say something. Anything.

My lips part, knots tight in my throat.

“Father, I—“

“Is this it?” He stares down at me, “no more running?”

I can’t promise that, father. I can’t promise anything, not with that look in your eyes—like you can tell just how much of a waste my years have been.

I hold my breath, feeling Elias’s stare burning into my skull and wishing the world will just stop for a second.

I can’t, I’m sorry.

“No more running,” I hear myself say.

What? No. I didn’t—

“Good.” Father nods, and doesn’t wait a beat before turning to Elias.

“Ready the horses to leave immediately.”

I stare at him, wide eyed.

“You’re leaving?”

“No,” his eyes soften for a fractured second, then it’s gone, “we’re going home.”

Home? My wolf flinches at the word.

“You’re…taking me back?”

“Yes.” He nods to Elias, and I turn to find him leaving.

“No—father, I can’t.”

“You weren’t planning on hiding out here, were you?”

“What? No—“

“Your people are waiting,” His voice cuts through the air like a whip, “I have stood in the gap for you for long enough. You are alive. You are well. You are coming home.”

Tears spring to my eyes, and I hate how hard my wolf is fighting to rise to the surface.

Not now. Please not now…

“But this is happening all too fast.”

“It’s been your destiny since you were born. You’ve had nothing but time over the last few years.”

“Even after what I did?” The words scrape out of my chest, and I hate how hard the memories hit me all at once—mother’s pale hand in mine, the blood…so much blood…

He steps forward suddenly, grabbing me gently by the wrist, thumb pressing on my pulse point.

“Do you feel that, child?”

His grip burns my skin, but I bite my lip and hold his gaze.

“That’s Bloodmoon running through your veins. You bear its mark, you carry its legacy—“

“I can’t even tame my own wolf! How am I supposed to lead my pack?”

His jaw hardens, grip firm.

“You will learn.”

No. I shake my head.

“We are Alphas, Kamari. We don’t get to choose what the Moon Goddess asks of us.”

Heavy footsteps halt at the entrance. I don’t need to turn to notice Elias’s scent.

Good goddess…I was almost melting under my father’s withering stare. He releases me slowly and steps back, clearing his throat.

“Horses ready?”

“Yes.” Elias hesitates in the doorway, shifting his gaze from my father to me.

I can’t look at him. Not with my father looking at me with a sad expression, like he can already see how unprepared I am for this.

“As alphas, our presence is never unnoticed, and our decisions affect more than just ourselves. Whether you like it or not, there are wolves waiting for you.”

He pauses, as if waiting for his words to sink in.

“Your people need you, Kamari. I’m done negotiating.”

Then he waits for me to move, to follow him to the horses that will take me back home.

Back to Bloodmoon, to the people I left behind and the life I spent years trying to bury.

Back to the wolf I still don’t know how to control and a pack I’m expected to lead.

Destined. Fated.

But I already know how this ends.

I will fail him.

I will lose control, and someone else will pay for it.

Just like my mother did.

To BloodMoon, I will forever be the girl who killed their Luna.

I swallow hard and turn towards the entrance.

When this goes wrong, they can’t say I didn’t warn them.