Chapter 5

I arranged my things in preparation for Oslow University.

A new bed.

A new room.

New faces.

A new town.

It felt less like moving and more like stepping into another realm.

And suddenly, I missed home.

I missed my family.

I even missed the annoying wolves in my pack.

My mind betrayed me, replaying their voices.

'You are not my mate.'

'There is no bond.'

'You are delusional.'

'A claim of a fated mate to my son is an insult.'

'The wannabe Luna.'

Then the one that cut the deepest—

'You will be exiled.'

My shoulders trembled.

I hadn’t realized I was crying until a tear landed on the edge of the dresser.

Exiled.

That was what I was now. Celestial Moon had been my home.

Some home it was.

My wolf had withdrawn — hurt, fractured by it all. For wolves, the pack was everything.

I could feel her barely holding on, drowning in grief.

She was mourning. And so was I.

But it would get better. It had to.

We would move forward. Go to college and—

Fresh panic seized me.

Then what?

What came after college? How would I survive in a human city? What if I wasn’t enough? What if I never became enough?

What was “better” even supposed to look like?

Goddess… please.

I’m tired.

I had shamed my parents. Brought disgrace to the pack. And now I was living off my aunt’s kindness.

A dark whisper slithered through my thoughts.

Why not just end it?

I stood up slowly.

The mirror across the room caught me before I could look away.

Red eyes. Swollen lids. Frizzy hair. A stranger wearing my face.

The knock on the door startled me so badly I almost felt guilty — as if someone had caught me doing something unforgivable.

“Christy, darling, are you alright?”

“Yes, Aunt. I’m okay.”

I prayed my voice didn’t betray me.

“If there’s anything you’re not used to, tell me. I want you to be comfortable here.”

My throat tightened. “Thank you, Aunt.”

Her footsteps retreated down the hall.

Shame flooded me.

How could I think something like that?

What would she tell her children? That their cousin couldn’t survive her own grief?

No.

I pressed my palms against my eyes until stars burst behind them.

No.

I had failed others. I wouldn’t fail myself too.

The walk to the living room felt longer than it was, but I made it.

Laughter drifted down the hallway.

“Christy...Oh. You look tired. Are you sleepy?”

My heart squeezed.

Perceptive Alexis. It wasn’t just my body that was tired. My soul was exhausted. But childhood should be light.

“I’m just a little tired.”

She scrunched her nose, studying me, then brightened. “I know! I’ll hug you.”

She wrapped her arms around me tightly.

“Andy, come! Let’s hug her so she won’t miss home so much.”

“Here I come!” Andy shouted before colliding into us with an enthusiastic oof.

“Hug time, Nolan,” Alexis called.

He sighed dramatically but stepped in anyway.

Aunt Leila and her husband approached. “This is perfect,” she said warmly. “A group hug.”

They joined in.

The weight of them pressed around me like an anchor. My wolf stirred, calm for the first time all day. They smelled like home.

One by one, they pulled away. Aunt Leila held on the longest. “This is your home too, Christy,” she murmured.

“All right, Nolan, bring the chess set. Andy’s been looking for a partner. You still play, right?”

“Yes,” I said, swallowing past the thickness in my throat. “I play.”

“Excellent. Go get it, Nolan.”

He hurried off, suspiciously eager.

When he arrived he set the pieces on the board and sat back down, the picture of a content spectator as Andy and I began to play.

Our game was chaotic, with Andy taking time to move a piece on the board and then begging to change them when she saw that she had made a mistake, making Nolan and Alexis laugh all the way.

Apparently, Andy was the worst person to play chess with causing Nolan and Alexis to rarely play with her. They played together after us.

Their game was much more thrilling. During their play, you could tell they were good.

Nolan had a deceptive baiting style that made you think it was safe to take out a piece before striking.

Alexis played very tamely but took advantage of every opportunity she saw. Nolan won, but Alexis was a good player unlike someone else.

"My turn next," Andy bellowed.

Nolan turned, "Yeah you and Alexis should play this time, I'll leave the amateurs to it."

"I'm not an amateur, I'm just learning."

He raised his hands, "Okay, a game between the learners then, masters like me will sit back."

Alex shook her head, "Play with Christy, Andy."

Way to throw me under the bus Alex.

Not ready to go for another unsportsmanlike play, I interjected "We just played, you girls should play. How did you get so good anyway Alex? I smell foul play."

Her tone smug she answered "Well, Mr. Rowan taught me and I'm in the chess club too, this isn't foul play, it's hard work bearing fruit."

"My mistake. Andy didn't go to the chess club?"

Nolan laughed and did a poor job at covering it up when Andy turned.

"Chess is so complicated", Andy retorted. "What's so great about it? Games should be relaxing not using up your brain power."

Ah, a classic case of those not having flowers complaining that they were wasteful.

Lowering myself to her level, I smiled. “What do you like to play, Andy?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked. We should go for Scrabble, charades, or solitaire. Something light-hearted. Not complex games.”

I nodded. Chess was indeed more complex than the listed games.

“Well then, a deck of cards it is. Go get it. I’ll play with you.”

“Great! I’m coming. I’ll show you guys who the expert is now.” She returned with her mother in tow.

As she arranged the cards proudly on the table, she asked, “What are you going to study in college, Christy?”

I paused.

What was I going to study?

The queasy feeling crept back as my thoughts drifted toward the future.

Instead of answering, I deflected. “What do you think I should do?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. before replying excitedly. “You should study something fun! Something you enjoy. You should do something you love.”

Cards forgotten, Aunt Leila looked at me gently. “What would you like to study?”

“I… haven’t figured it out yet.”

“I’m sure you will,” she said softly.“ So don’t pressure yourself.”

Then she clapped her hands lightly. “You girls should play. The cards are waiting.”

“That’s it, Mom,” Andy declared sagely. “It doesn’t matter if I win, Christy. Just have fun.”

A laugh escaped me. “You’re so confident now. Where was this energy earlier?”

“Less talking. More playing.”

And play we did.

She won. But I had fun. Surrounded by joy, noise, and laughter, I let myself enjoy it, grateful for their comforting presence.

For the first time since leaving, I didn’t feel like I was falling.